White House Hash House Harriers Run #1210
September 14, 2008
East Potomac Park Golf Course, Washington DC

Hares: Semen on the Pew, MotorMouth, Octopussy, The Pimp of Sarajevo
Brew Crew: a few gracious people who stayed sober so we could make messes of ourselves (ok maybe that was just me)
Virgins: Just Anne, Just Patrick (brought by Just Allie).
Visitors: Bubbles (Anchorage H3) and some other people who traveled from far and wide to drink with us.
Beer Bitch: Just Daniel
Analversaries: Nope
Long Time No Seers: if there were, they weren't important enough to remember

We began the hash congregated in the hidden back corner parking lot of the East Potomac Golf Course on what seemed to be the hottest day in recent memory! In fact it was so hidden that several hashers were led to the start by whistle after phoning and requesting a signal to guide their way! How hot was it? It was so hot that Beer Mile O'limpdickian Medalist Obeastiologist claimed to be carrying water on trail for his first time. (It only hurts the first time, OB) Our beloved scribe Gay Guy Counter was not present (obviously having one of his usual trysts with your mom) and I, Taster's Choice, was conscribed (pun intended) into fulfilling his duties (to the hash, not to your mom) along with the role of Assistant Hash Cash (Ass. Cash if you will.) And yes, expect the parenthetical comments to continue. It wasn't even a few seconds into my temporary tenure that wankers began committing crimes worthy of violation! Having never spent a hash looking for such things I now truly appreciate the Scribes so much more. They also have to perfect the arts of writing legibly while running!

Our GMs called us into the circle and sent us on our way. The pack blindly followed flour down towards the tip of Haines Point knowing full well that they would have to turn around at some point and return whence they came. (Note to Hares: start the hash off with a long straight away that becomes a back check and the FRB's will still stay ahead, it just slows down the DFLs even more!) I would comment on the next bit of trail that took part on the East/West Potomac Park peninusula, but one of the Hares kindly pointed me and some Just's in the direction of an extreme shortcut and we waited for the rest of the pack to catch up on the other side of the Jefferson Monument. We heard ya'll had fun over there. The trail continued across the heavily trafficked Maine Avenue, a road congested with tourists who are barely looking up from their maps and cell phones to notice hashers jaywalking across the busy streets. If that wasn't dangerous enough we soon found ourselves on train tracks facing oncoming locomotive traffic. The beer check soon arrived and we enjoyed our frosty beverages keeping an eye on the police car across the field. On Out and we managed to maneuver our way past the Fish Wharf and back to East Potomac Park (except for a few wankers Zenning) Circle began and we attempted to rehydrate ourselves. By the way, thanks to Meat Lover for helping out with recording violations!

Violations: you wankers kept me busy!
Louisville Sucker, Jefe Lengua, Bubbles: New Shoes/Drinking vessels…. Bubbles was emphatic about not drinking from her shoe so Jefe offered his other up as a stunt shoe!
Just Dan: Thought the hash was going to be boring today so he brought an economics magazine for reading material…. Next time just bring porn.
Just Anne: Was seen deodorizing her nether regions before the trail began. Frequent bathing will help avoid any odor issues in the future!
No Child Left Behind: thought the hash had a golf theme and dressed to the part… complete with pearl necklace, but wouldn't say who gave it to her!
Hares: Running the pack through a circle of mushrooms (Mushrom Check) but didn't include a Tit Check!
Wrong Number: Heart Rate monitor wasn't offering you much support, leave the sports bras to the ladies.
Mount My Rear: Got balled anonymously on trail by a stray ball from the course.
Tony Panda: Asked if someone wanted to split a beer with him at the Beer Check…. Conservation means using less cups NOT drinking less beer!
Hares: Having the pack play frogger with mindless tourists SAFTEY THIRD!
Octopussy: Wore a hash t-shirt that was older than some of the hashers in attendance
Obeastiologist: Trail wasn't long enough for him so he decided to add another mile to it on his own.
Hares: Attempted to get the pack to play chicken with 140 Tons of oncoming train….. SAFETY THIRD!


And then came an occasion we all enjoy, a NAMING!

Just Allie has been hashing with us for a few months now… and we were lucky enough to have both her high school friend and her roommate in attendance to fill us in on the dirt. The fiery red head lives in Logan Circle, works as an Interior Design Architect, and attended Catholic University. A few items of note in her life are:
- While in high school she medaled in Irish Dancing Competitions and her favorite holiday is St Patrick's Day.
- Hasn't brought her boyfriend to the hash in order to avoid any naming stories he might have.
- She traveled to Rome (like a good catholic girl) and lost her panties and bra on the way (like a good catholic girl)
- She has an extreme attraction to men in uniform (military only guys… apperantly the McD's and Wendy's uni doesn't do it for her, sorry) working her way through the services one veteran at a time (still looking to check Marines and Coast Guard off her to do list)

The pack came up with several ideas including:
- Immaculate Beaver
- Dirty RimLick
- Red RideHer (When the name Red RideHer was suggested by Louisville Sucker, a barge whistle immediately blew, obviously showing God's distaste for the name.)
- Touch Me Jesus
- Do All You Can Do (with variations… Suck all you can, Fuck all you can.. etc)
- Army of (*gagging sound inserted here*)

In the end it came down to a Boob-Off in which one of our virgins represented proudly but the RA exercised his holy hash power and Just Allie is now:

Red, White, and Blow Me!

See ya'll next week!

On-On,
Taster's Choice