#1206 White Flint Metro August 18, 2008

Hares: Jackoff Lantern, Eat Your Vegetables, Fluffer No Butt Her, No Child Left Behind
Brew Crew: C: Enter, Hot Lunch
Beer Bitch: Just Allie
Virgins: Just Stephanie
Visitors: FUPA, Sex Pistol
Analversaries: Et Tu Bootay - 25, Jerry Ass Tricks - 25
Long Time No Seers: Ass Ogre, Rambutt, Fruit Of The Poon, Mr. Magoo, Silver Spooge, Tranny In Training, Chicken Fucker, Call Me EZ

Here's the funny thing. It's been almost a week since this hash, and I don't remember much. The trail started with shiggy. It went from there into water. Incidentally, I recall a deja vu beer check. What that means is that when we got to the second beer check, it looked eerily similar to the first one. Wanna know why that was? It was the same place. We all thought we were crazy because the trail seemed to lead us into the same paths we were on before the first beer check. We're all crazy, but there's a reason why we recognized the paths. Given our recent history, it's particularly impressive that the second beer check wasn't canceled after the park police drove by the first time. Anyway, let's get on with violations.

Violations:
Hares: Bad at math. 1 beer check visited twice doesn't really equal 2 beer checks.
Just Stephanie: Got all wet for broken wood. Safety third.
Hares: Lies and deceit. Second SN had no shot near.
Brew Crew: Exercising discretion by having everyone pour beer out of the cans...into cups labeled "Jack Daniels".
Private Snowball: Princess Snowball took off his shoes and socks for the water crossings.
Coin Operated: Dressed like Wendy, so she could go into Wendy's and request a discount.
Call Me EZ: Complained about not being violated. Have a drink.
Trojan: Honorary down down for matching donations to the Beer Fairy defense fund. That means he donated $569 to the fund. Nice job.
Mellow Foreskin Cheese: Planning surgical enhancements in the coming weeks. All the harriettes will want to test drive the new equipment.

Hash Shit:
No Child Left Behind brought the Hash Shit back from her Beer Mile participation. Let's see who tried to get it from her.

Jackoff Lantern: Mean haring.
Fey Lay: Media Slut got a hurricane named after her.
Coin Operated: 300 Million Served
Cock A Doodle Do Me: Removing goblet from the Hash Shit.

And the winner is...Cock A Doodle Do Me. We thought we'd give her a chance to put something on the Hash Shit to replace the goblet.

Then, we decided to name Just Jesus. Just Jesus works for the [ch]Air Force. He was nervous about his first BJ because he's "kicking an anteater", which apparently means he's uncircumcised. Just Jesus is not a jew. He's Puerto Rican. He's been caught licking a nipple by his mom, and receiving a BJ by a police officer. His definition of "aim high" is a pearl necklace. We recommended the following:

Jesus Is Not a Jew
Premature Copulation
Jews For Jesus
Jesus Doesn't Save
Last Temptation
Aunt Eater
Whacks A Turtle

But we named him...Holy Foreskin Batman

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