#1204 August 4, 2008 Eastern Market

Hares: Back Snatch, Snatch Shot, Titly Winks, Mount My Tits, Mr. Softy
Brew Crew: Coin Operated, Please Step Away From The Whores
Beer Bitch: Just Lisa
Virgins: Just Cat, Just Jacquelyn
Visitors: Explodes On Impact - Pittsburgh, Wang Chunks - Boston
Analversaries: 1 Girl 2 Cups, Lefty Loosey Righty Tightey, Can You Rear Me Now, Rear Protein Injection, Mannipple Lichter
Long Time No Seers: Dial F For Faggot, Wang Chunks, Telecum, Wee Willy Wanker

This trail reminded me of a few things. It was really tiring, and I was very sweaty. That reminded me of my erotic weekend getaway with your mom. Mostly, it reminded me of the need for education. You know, if you don't use the education you received, it's often a good idea to take a refresher course. That's why I think most of us should consider enrolling in the next session of Chalk Talk 101. Tuition is affordable, and the course only takes a few minutes. And, your guaranteed to get an A. I'm just saying that when 2/3 of the pack spends most of its time off the trail, it's not just shortcutting. Really, it's high time we start looking for marks. Otherwise, most of us are just going to get lost and not return from our next visit to Southeast DC.

Violations:
Tooth Fairy: As a former Beltway Bob, you'd think he could organize a happy hour. But he ended up drinking alone because he gave the wrong address to the bar, and everyone went to the bar he named, while he drank alone at the address he used.
Hares: Refused an offer to provide a shot check at Taster's Choice's home, only a few blocks from the start.
Mount My Rear: Ran the pack through a gang turf war. Safety third!
Fluffer No Butt Her: Tried to fight off No Child Left Behind when she grabbed his underwear because he thought she was going to remove them. Apparently, it was okay when he figured out that she was just offering a wedgie.
Cock A Doodle Do Me: Wearing a racist t-shirt for a race she didn't even run.
Just Lisa: Apparently likes it doggy style, so she spent a little time on trail making out with Just Molson
Wang Chunks: Made more WH4 hashes in 3 monts than he did when he was GM for a whole year.
Bob Loblaw: Violated by EWH3 songmeister Roll Over Bitch for not knowing more than 1 verse. A shotgun-off between the two ensued, and WH4's own Bob Loblaw dominated, demonstrating readiness for the upcumming Hash Olympdicks.
Just Lisa: Came back from the WH4 camping trip as a single harriette. We're worried that she's been going to the Motormouth school of camping charm.

Then we decided to name Just Lisa. Just Lisa attended GW. She didn't elaborate, but says that her most embarrassing sexual experience was when she was being taped. She likes hot sauce (Dave's Insanity) and spankings. She's never used hot sauce during sex, but has apparently used a fruit roll-up. Wow. Her favorite animal is a horse, but she made out with Just Molson, a 35lb puggle. When asked if she'd ever inserted fruits or vegetables, she said "not really." I guess that makes sense, given that she was making out with Eat Your Vegetables a couple weeks ago. Let's see what names were suggested.

Doggy Style
Mind Ready For Instruction
Hot For Cock
Roast Beef Curtains
Sea Prickness
Cums In Bunches
That Bitch Crazy

But we named her...Peas On My Face

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