#1196 July 7, 2008 Dupont Circle Metro, No Motion on the Ocean Memorial Hash

Hares: Sextra Credit, Bad Ditch, Big Bang, Snatch Shot, Back Snatch, $50 Bitch
Virgins: Just George, Just Scott, Just Craig, Just Andrew, Just Kelly, Just Heather, Just Susan, Just Monique, Just Mike, Just Jamie, Just Kacie
Visitors: Fungus – Boise, Up Chuck Fuck – Los Angeles
Brew Crew: Marco Homo, RU-469
Beer Bitch: The all new Chicken Fucker
Analversaries: Second Cumming – 25
Long Time No Seers: Social. Everyone is apparently too busy to hash.
OnOnOn: Buffalo Billiards

This was the No Motion on the Ocean memorial hash. I just want to note something that a friend of mine usually says. People think that who you know is what shows your importance. The truth is that it’s the number of people who know you. By the turnout, it’s obvious that NoMo was a great friend to many. I’m sorry I never met him.
I suppose I could follow that point with a missive about the trail. I could tell you about some shiggy, a little urban r*nning, or the cheaters who decided to hash on roller blades. I could talk about the oppressive heat and humidity. But, I’ll bet you want to hear about all the stupidity that your friends perpetrated on trail. So, without further ado, on on to violations.

Violations:
NoMo: Missed his own hash. We gave the honorary down down to Sextra Credit.
Wooly Mammaries: Performed a brazilian butt implant operation on I’d Tap That.
Comes On Vacation: Leaving the hash after 6 months. I guess she’s already exhausted the supply of decent harriers she was willing to sleep with.
Put It Out: Mid-life crisis. He’s missed MVH3 for 6 months, but hasn’t missed a single EWH3 hash.
Poop Weiner: Arrives late, and still has to get out his phone to make a booty call.
Strange Ground Chuck: Dropped panties on trail. Lucky they were from the Hash Shit, and were not his.
Peace O’ Chum: Doesn’t look like Chicken Fucker any more, so she dressed like Knee Deep Pussy High.
Sextra Credit: Had to dust her shoes with chalk to make them look dirty and used.
Just Carolyn: Birthday on trail. Great excuse for a beer.

Hash Shit:
Strange Ground Chuck brought the Hash Shit because he had solicited Snap Crackle Poop for sex and money. After being refused ass and cash from him, Strange Ground Chuck decided to try his luck with making that request of Gay Guy Counter. Here’s who deserved a shot at taking it from him.

Strange Ground Chuck: Whining about having the Hash Shit.
Snatch Shot: Stole the liquor for the shot check from a homeless man.
Winn Dickme: Stage fright. She was giggling like a giddy school girl, but couldn’t bring herself to nominate someone.

And the winner is…Winn Dickme

Then we decided to name someone. Three “Justs” entered the circle, but only one would leave with a hash name. That turned out to be the birthday girl, Just Carolyn.

Just Carolyn is 23 years old, and studied International Studies and Spanish at the University of Wisconsin. She’s from Milwaukee, and received an alouette at the Tour duh Hash. Just Carolyn lost her virginity in Spain at age 19 in the back seat of a car of unknown make with a man whose name she cannot recall. The chicken is her favorite farm animal. Her favorite sexual position is doggy style, and the most interesting place she’s ever had sex is a bathroom (was it a Burger King bathroom?). She admitted to swallowing over spitting, but says she usually does neither. Also, she once awoke wondering if she’d had sex the night before. Let’s see what suggestions we had for her.

Special Feel in An Oldsmobile
Dontcha Blow?
Libido Loco
Wiscumsin
Scandalabian
Cock Her Spaniard
Pack Her Pooper

But we named her…Cheesy Sanchez

Then, it was on on to Buffalo Billiards. I left early to spend quality time with your mom. She says you should call more often.

On On,
Gay Guy Counter