#1193 June 23, 2008 Bill Wagner Birthday Hash in Ballston
Hares: Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Turbo Twat, Fire In The Hole, Her She Kisses, Mr. Magoo
Virgins: Just Daniel, Just Pat, Just Carrie, Just Brooklyn
Visitors: Thumper Pumper - Sir Walter Raleigh, Her She Kisses - Boston
Analversaries: None.
Long Time No Seers: None. If there are no long time no seers, you'd think we'd have more frequent analversaries. Interesting.
OnOnOn: Buffalo D's

This week, we got together to help Mellow Foreskin Cheese celebrate his 39th birthday. He's good at that celebration, as he's been doing it annually for 24 years, now. In fact, he's so good at that celebration, he got 3 very hot women whose ages only add up to a couple more than his to help him with it. I'm not sure how Mr. Magoo got invited. So, we met on a sunny afternoon for a great hash. What started as a sunny afternoon turned into a brief deluge from the sky. After the rain stopped, the trail continued with mystery hares. There was a simple brilliance in the fact that the pack didn't know who the hares were. They all had to read the trail marks instead of following hares. It was like a birthday miracle!

Violations:
Wookin' Pa Nub: Asked if it was okay to "go down" in the beer van.
Crowd Pleaser: Chose the wrong dirty, stinky crevice to go down in, and came up bloody. Safety Third!
Chicken Phucker: Got a haircut to stop people from calling him Peace O' Chum. Now we'll just call him Bad Ditch.
Blows A Tranny: Wearing the wrong yellow biking jersey for either the Tour de France or the Tour duh Hash. However, everyone liked the "safety first" theme of its color. So we made him use Safety Third.
Dairy Queen: Rain on trail, two rainbows, and no lucky charms.
Hares: Finally outsmarted the Arlington Police Department by not breaking the law.
Spinal Tap: Wants to be reincarnated as a stripper pole. More likely, though, is that it will be a fireman's pole.
Gay Guy Counter: Trying to keep harriettes dry on trail.
Fist Her And Pissed Her: Celebrated the anniversary of his first hash where he met Gay Guy Counter and decided he was right at home.
Mount My Rear: Killed 2 batteries in one night and didn't end up with a smile on her face.
Gay Guy Counter: 2 rainbows on trail for extra gayness.
Wookin' Pa Nub: He was the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow, but he was passing out cigarettes instead of gold.

Hash Shit:
Snap Crackle Poop rescued the hash shit from Akanewbie and brought it with him to the hash. Here are the wankers who probably deserved to take it from him:

Wookin' Pa Nub: Too lazy to go get his driver's license after becoming eligible last month.
Snap Crackle Poop: Put keys to Shitty Shitty Bang Bang on the hash shit, and tried to give it to a guy without a driver's license.
Gay Guy Counter: Unacceptable hash behavior, trying to keep harriettes dry.
Sucks It Blue: Moving in on Private Snowball's women by introducing himself as Private Snowball.
Motormouth: Spent a little time in the drunk tank over the previous weekend. Ask him about that.

And the winner is...Motormouth.

Then, it was on on to Buffalo D's. We ate, drank, and were merry. Good times.

On On,Gay Guy Counter