#1190 May 26, 2008 Springfield-ish

Hares: Knee Deep Pussy High, Bob Loblaw, Porn To Fail, Wooly Mammaries
Virgins: Just April, Just Amy, Just Leah, another Just Amy
Visitors: Just Andrew – BFMH3, Ho Ho Motorboat - Sacramento
Brew Crew: Louisville Sucker, Can’t Find Pussy In A Haystack
Beer Bitch: Just John
Analversaries: None
Long Time No Seers: None
OnOnOn: Lucky’s Sports Theatre

Here’s what it looks like when I phone in the trash. There was a trail. Some people ran. Other people walked. It was Memorial Day. We were thankful for those who died in the service of our country. We honored them with beer and wankerism. When all that was over, we issued violations. Here they are.

Violations:
Spinal Tap: Needs to step up at home. Hasher Humper was wearing pants advertising her need for a plump, sweet, juicy pickle.
Slip Knot: Strategically placed a hole in the back of his shorts so he might get a chance at a little anal play.
Porn To Fail: Hare mutiny. Led all the walkers to a totally different trail than what was laid.
Brew Crew: Beer check in the only sunny spot of a very well-shaded road.
Blows A Tranny and Bad Ditch: Confused about religion and fetish when they found themselves wrestling with a big black snake on trail.
Meat Lover: Took a prick test and felt no effect.
Just April: Fell in love with a death row inmate, and adopted him because he likes it doggy style.
Wookin’ Pa Nub: Urban surfing on the way from the on-in to the circle. Safety third.
Porn To Fail: Performing a Ted Kaczynski impression. We expect to read a manifesto sometime really soon.
Motormouth: Relived his previous life as a kindergarten teacher when he ran a “sitting circle”.
Double Ohhh Positive: Made a concerted effort to keep Entergizer Bunny’s shoes clean and dry. The only reason to keep shoes dry is so they can serve you a clean cold beer.
2007 Tour Duh Hash Finishers: Finally got around to being recognized for overachievement.

Then, a very nice Fairfax County police officer decided to make us leave. We complied. We were sad that he wouldn’t join our party.

On On,
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