Trash 1176

#1176 March 2, 2008 Wheaton Metro
Hares: Peace O Chum, Dyke Tyson, Catch Her In The Thighs, Late Nite Drive Thru
Virgins: Just Jennifer
Visitors: Just Tony, Just Adele, Just Howie, Celebitch
Long Time No-Seers: Ass Master 2000, Blank Shot Up The Ass, And Hows Her Bush, Bavarian Bush, Underground Railroad, Dumb Blonde
Beer Bitch: Ass Master 2000
Analversaries: Blows A Tranny - 100
Brew Crew: Beer Fairy, Coin Operated
OnOnOn: VFW, Wheaton

WH4 was well into celebrating its 4 Corners of The Earth Hash Tour, as we arrived at Wheaton Metro. I’m not kidding. That’s two weeks in a row when I had to look up the location on www.wmata.com because I honestly had no idea where it was. Kudos for creativity, I guess. Speaking of repetition, this was also the third WH4 hash in a row where we’ve suffered the effects of a struggling economy. Money’s tight and times are tough, kids, so don’t be surprised when we can’t afford enough flour to lay a hash later this year. It was so bad that Private Snowball arrived to the end circle only as the rest of the pack was trying to finish the cheap beer. Of course, your mom has another version of how Private Snowball got “lost.” She said he knew his way around. Don’t worry, she told me he was a perfect gentleman. Anyway, we ran through the town of Wheaton, doing our best to follow the trail laid by our hares. In the process, some members of the pack did a few stupid things. Let’s hear about that, shall we? On On to violations.

Violations:
Gay Guy Counter: Honorably took the down down from the evening’s first violator after issuing the worst violation ever.
Blank Shot Up The Ass: Racist apparel.
Queerly I’m Straight: Queerly’s wearing a shirt that says “you can follow me, but it’s going to hurt” wouldn’t warrant a violation unless he’s wearing that shirt when he faceplants on trail. Go figure.
Underground Railroad: Self-affirmation on trail. At the beer check, she asked “who’s a winner?” only to reply “I am!”
Cock A Doodle Do Me: Alcohol abuse. She spilled more beer than Blows A Tranny’s 100 run mug would hold.
Bad Ditch: Getting used to arriving late and running alone, she decided to bring her iPod along in lieu of a companion.
One Time At Hand Camp: Promoting WH4’s new ideal of reducing waste by bringing your own mug, he brought not one, but two shiny new drinking vessels. So he took off the left one and showed us all how they worked.
Gay Guy Counter: Hosted the world’s biggest sausage fest about a week or so ago. Yes ladies, if you like dick, you should attend his parties. There’s plenty.
Just Jennifer: The pack would not have known that the bra and panties modeled by Catch Her In The Thighs were hers if she didn’t tell us.
Hares: Insufficient Sweeping.
Snap Crackle Poop: Getting old. His birthday was last week.

Hash Shit:
Private Snowball brought the Hash Shit with him. He almost lost the opportunity to give it away by getting lost at your mom’s. But he did show up, and the following wankers offered to carry it for him next week:

Private Snowball: Whining (he must have been serious about this, as he was violated twice for it).
Dumb Blonde: For not knowing that “black folks don’t whine, they bitch” according to Private Snowball.
Blank Shot Up The Ass: For singing a song to Private Snowball requesting a BJ.
Private Snowball: For not singing last week’s new song.

This week’s lucky winner is Blank Shot Up The Ass!

Then it was on on to the Wheaton VFW. This is the portion of the program where you were supposed to find a drunken hookup. If you didn’t happen to make that work for you, there’s always next week. See you there!

On On,
Gay Guy Counter