#1175 February 24, 2008 West Hyattsville (Looks like East Bumf*ck to me)
Hares: Jeffe Lengua, Squeaky, Catch Her In The Thighs, Just Breech
Virgins: Just Justin
Visitors: Target Practice (kind of a Long Time No Seer, too)
Long Time No-Seers: Target Practice
Beer Bitch: Just Ron
Analversaries: Knee Deep Pussy High – 100
Brew Crew: Hungry Hungry Homo, Small Wonder
OnOnOn: Acapulco Spirit

We all traveled over hill and dale to your mom’s house. Oh sorry, that was another occasion. We went all the way to West Hyattsville for a beautiful day of hashing. Then, as the Brew Crew poured the first pre-circle beer, the cops showed up. Game over. Thank God that our GM, Knee Deep Pussy High was sober enough to talk to them without getting arrested. Some GMs don’t really know how to work that angle. I’m just saying. So, after averting disaster, it was on on to trail. It was a lucky coincidence that some of the pack brought their magnifying glasses so they could see the uber-tiny marks laid by the hares. I was beginning to wonder if the trail had been laid by oompa loompas. However, I truly became worried that I was trapped in a twisted fantasy when I saw that Just Ron had found the golden ticket in the form of the shiniest pair of golden shoes ever seen. My God, I was almost blinded. And trust me that has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation. If I wasn’t blind by eighteen, that’s a myth. But I digress. On on to violations.

Violations:
Hares: Trail was a lot like my job; small checks.
Just Justin: New shoes. For Sale Or Rent brought him, so she got to use his shiny new drinking vessels.
Back Snatch: Expressed concern for the effect of the electromagnetic field from the power lines. Safety Third.
Hares: Size does matter. Small true trail arrows were tough to read.
Gay Guy Counter: Combo violation for alcohol abuse and racist behavior. Spilled his beer while stretching at the beer check.
IKEA Hazmat Anniversary Hashers: Anyone planning to go to New Haven for the event.
Hares: Laid a trail over the bridges of Prince Georges County.
Bob Lowblaw: Planning to get lucky because he picked up something old and flat on trail.
Private Snowball: Lost his wood on trail. By the way, if a tree falls on trail and doesn’t hit a hasher, is it still safety third? Yes it is. Turns out that safety third isn't one size fits all, so Blows A Tranny had to stand in for him.
No Child Left Behind: Refused to issue a violation for fear of retribution. Okay, now you can try retaliation.
Follow The Bleeder: Anticipating a Major Discharge in the near future.

Hash Shit:
Dildo Shaggins brought the Hash Shit with her. She got it because she was really drunk at the incumming mismanagement hash. So drunk she didn’t remember why she got the hash shit. The following wankers tried their best to take it from her:

Bad Ditch: Left her pajamas at Dildo Shaggins’ house, but Dildo didn’t remember whose they were.
Bob Lowblaw: Playing his “horn” in the circle. Yeah, he did.
Private Snowball: Opened and closed an act in the same night. We had the bright idea that he should teach us new songs at the circle. We just thought he was going to teach good ones.

Yeah, Private Snowball went home with the Hash Shit.

Then, we decided to name Just Breech. Just Breech was brought hashing by her cousin Squeaky, and Squeaky’s husband Jeffe Lengua. At her virgin hash, Just Breech got drunk, flashed the circle, and made out with three boys including Presidential Nasty. Her favorite sexual position is “yes, please.” She went on the Jolly Roger Pirate Hash cruise this year. While there, she managed to fall face first on flat pavement. Incidentally, she also made it to the High Heel Race last year, where she made out with a drunk girl who she carried away over her shoulder.
Suggested names include:

Head First
Nasty First Lady
Face Down Ass Up
Dirty Pirate Hooker
Mrs. Morgan
Captain Munch
Barbarian Babe
Ass Protector
Drag Me Licking And Screaming
Like A Record

But then we named her…Me Jane You Come

Then it was on on to Acapulco Spirit, where we had plenty of good food. They were very happy to have us, accommodated us with separate checks, and served us well. Then we all found out why the relationship between Knee Deep Pussy High and Bob Lowblaw. When drunk, she makes out with girls, and he kisses Queerly I’m Straight.

On On,Gay Guy Counter