#1174 February 10, 2008 Vienna Metro

1174 S.H.I.T. Invasion Hash

Hares: Fire in the Cornhole, B!tch Where My Money, and Budhi Jumper

Virgins: Just Kristen, Just Kyoko, and Just Taeko – Evil Jesus and Pork n’ Cheese made them come… and Just Pete – the internet made him come… (I think he speaks for all of us).

Visitors: Self Cummer – Brussels H3 (transplant) Welcome!

Brew Crew: A-Salt My Ass (don’t mind if I do) and Blows a Tranny (I totally heard that he does)

Beer Bitch: Screws on First

Analversaries: None!

Long Time No Seers: Side Show Boobs, Fire in the Cornhole, and Evil Jesus (even though I’m sure I violated him at a hash not long ago, don’t tell Pork n’ Cheese!)

OnOnOn: Glory Days… they didn’t seem to be expecting us, but they were very accommodating.

About the trail… O’ WH4, where art thou? With S.H.I.T. hares and an EWH3 RA, I’m not sure we should even get a run count for this one. The S.H.I.T.ers laid a live trail for us… plenty o’ shiggy and Turkey/Eagle split. Just as we were starting to get thirsty, two kegs appeared like a mirage in the desert… but much like the desert, they were dry. Not a nice trick, hares… and neither was setting up the actual beer check in a Hazmat zone (Safety Third’s coming out today!) A few hashers took the S.H.I.T. theme a little too seriously and left some steaming piles on trail… but most of them were our four-legged friends.

Violations:

Apollo Peed and Irritable Bow Wow Syndrome: Pooping on trail.

Brew Crew: Brought no water, only ice. We could make them sit on the ice so it would melt, but who’d want to drink it then?

Test Tube Baby: This should have been a Sex on Trail violation, but he forgot to take his little blue pill… leaving Bang Her & Hash less than satisfied.

Wookin’ Panub: Rustled up those barking spiders the hares mentioned in their announcement… seems as though there must have been a water crossing on their trail though.

Wrong Number: For uttering the words, “Can I mount that” on trail… I don’t know, seems like fairly acceptable hash behavior to me. Too bad Hermaphrodites on Unicycles beat him to the action.

The Hares: For not policing up their sex toys… they left their Dildo (Shaggins) on trail.

Hash Shit:

I nominate the Metro Police, for showing up and ruining our fun. Thankfully, Dildo Shaggins has graciously volunteered to hang onto the Hash Shit for them so they don’t feel the need to show up again next week… ahem.

No naming this week!

Lessons Learned:

-When the Metro Police show up and ask you to leave, evacuate the area as quickly as possible… but be sure to empty your drinking vessel prior to getting into your vehicle, Evil Jesus.

On On,

Cleopapsmear