1171 Springfield

#1171 January 27, 2008 Springfield Metro

Hares: Assorted Incumming MisManagement

Virgins: Nary a one…

Visitors: Rotten Whore from Chicago. Hey… I used to work there…

Brew Crew: Chicken Phucker and some other awesome hasher.

Beer Bitch: Just Jenn (stay tuned… she gets named)

Analversaries: Winn D*ck Me – 69 Runs

Long Time No Seers: Et Tu Buttay, Imaginary Girlfriend, Poke An Eye Out, and Takes it up the Eh… there may have been more…

OnOnOn: Lucky’s

About the trail… it was very cold and long… I think it’s time for this scribe to start running again, but something tells me I’m glad I didn’t start that day. The ever generous hares provided a shot check with the choice between a red Throw Me Down and F*ck Me and some yellow one with a less awesome name. Of course there was a beer check… and then back to the parking garage for ending circle. The advance party (auto-hashers) felt it was too windy atop the parking deck and thoughtfully moved the circle to a location (also atop the parking garage) behind a chain-link fence about 5 feet away… good call, much warmer there.

Violations:

Winn D*ck Me: Found bush on trail and refused to share… don’t worry fellas, there’s plenty of that to go around at the hash... bush, that is… not Winn D*ck Me.

Give Me an Oohh: Nominated for best dressed at the Holiday Party/AGM the evening before… Congrats to her, but wait, was she even there? No…

Taster’s Choice: Made a list of the beers available at Finn McCool’s and checked them off as he drank them. We here at WH4 really admire that sort of determination and drive… not to mention an organized and thoughtful approach to drinking.

Rotten Whore: Turns out she barely qualifies as a visitor, since she seems to be here more than she’s gone… sounds like a former RA I know.

Blah Blah Blah: For making out with Queerly I’m Straight… that’s right, you heard me.

Hash Shit:

There was really no need for any further noms after Slurpee and Dildo Shaggins... all I can say is, it’s a good thing we didn’t all go to the recovery run and chug mimosas that morning, or we might have all been rolling around in the middle of the circle giggling. The “honor” went to Ms. Shaggins though when Jack Off Lantern informed us of that while he prefers a pro-active approach to birth control on trail (condoms), she prefers a re-active approach (coat hanger). *Note to the RA here… abortion is the opposite of safe sex.

And now it’s time for a naming… and a quick one at that!

We named our illustrious beer bitch, Just Jenn. Turns out she’s a former card carrying lesbian… seriously, we saw the card. Something tells me this may be a case of nature vs. nurture though… I mean, she went to an all girls’ school… perhaps just a lesbian by default? Anyway, these days she’s diving for eels, not muffs, and it was (wait, somebody check the prompter… I think we’ve got a typo here. No? Ok…) It was Follow the Bleeder who turned her! (Future violation for Bleeder here… we’re not sure what you were trying to say, but it is never cool to describe your girlfriend as Homely.)

Only a few noms here… remember, I said it was a quick one. Turns out she’s into S&M, which prompted the suggestions Slash & Burn and Virgin Sacrifice. Despite our best efforts not to name people based on their current hash hook up, Bloody Cream Cheese was nominated (please don’t ask me to repeat the cream cheese reference for an explanation here). Finally it was 1 Girl, 2 Cups that won the crowd, and the RA, over… maybe because it was cold, maybe because we were too scared to hear any more of Just Jenn’s sex stories. *Note here… this scribe seems to have been living under a rock, because until I did some research today, I had no idea why that name was clever… I’m really wishing I still didn’t.

Lessons Learned:

-Write the trash as soon as possible after the hash, because the cryptic notes you write yourself that Sunday, will mean nothing a week later. Anyone know what “BBA V+V” means?

-Do not ask a former lesbian who’s into S&M her most embarrassing sex moment, because I assure you, only you will be embarrassed after she tells you.

On On,

Cleopapsmear