1165 Vienna Sausage

#1165 December 30, 2007 Vienna


Hares: Thong Butt Not Forgotten and Gay-Rod

Virgins: Just Liz and Just Danny

Visitors: Crackatoa (Moscow); Sextoy (Hogtown); Can’t F*ck Dust, R U In?, and Just David (all from Albuquerque)

Brew Crew: It’s Buttf*cking Time, and Chewbacca

Beer Bitch: R U In?

Analversaries: Microsoft - 200 Runs (Get a life!)

Long Time No Seers: Moist Sushi, Pullz it Out, R U In?, Pork n’ Cheese, Evil Jesus, 3 Ring Cervix, Raise My Titanic, and Holy Mackerel

OnOnOn: Glory Days… for some folks anyway.


About the trail… it was cold and rainy… and in Vienna, but the hares made it up to us by kick starting the New Year’s celebrations with shots of the bubbly… and at $5.99 a bottle, you KNOW it had to be good!


Violations:

Peace O’ Chum: Abused her position as Hab by breaking into the stock of shirts to layer up and get warm.

Evil Jesus: Knocked up his wife just so that he’d have a DD

Private Snowball: Complaining that he only has bad sex… what’s the one consistent in all those trysts? Hmm… might want to work on that.

Silver Spooge: Drinking a Clamato cocktail on trail… you say Cla-MAY-to, I say Cla-MAH-to

Can’t F*ck Dust: For being unable to avoid the wet crack… (I know someone who’s not complaining!)

Crackatoa: Actually violated herself… but that’s ok, we would have violated her anyway for telling that long of a story.

Raise My Titanic: May have just completed her Master’s Degree, but she still couldn’t figure out how to work Safety Third without taking her top off.


Hash Shit:

Bob Loblaw: For skipping Christmas with the family so that he’d have more runs than Jack Off Lantern…

Jack Off Lantern: For being jealous.

US Boobs and Oral Report: For trying to run away from the Hash Shit

All of these are much better noms than the actual “winner”, which was…

Gay-Rod: Honestly, I’m still not sure here… he was accused of having new shoes, but no hare is that foolish, and didn’t we take care of that during the violations?


Now, there was certainly no need for a naming here… it was cold and wet, and we had fought the parking garage acoustics all circle… and well, we just didn’t have anyone to name really. But that did not deter us! The hares informed the RA that we needed to kill time until the Redskins game ended because the bar wouldn’t be able to accommodate us just yet (Note to future hares: there’s a lesson to be learned here…)


So we decided to name Just David from ABQH3… even though the only one who knows him here is R U In?. She was fully on board with this plan though because, apparently, the ABQH3 is LAME and he’d get a much better name here. Let’s hope we can deliver…


Just David hails from Casper, Wyoming and he works as a Penetration Systems Engineer… yes, penetration systems, I can’t make this stuff up. (Well I could, but I didn’t). He also went to mine school… that’s mine, not mime.


Area 69 was nominated right off the bat… it was good, but perhaps we shot our load a little too early in the game with that one, still plenty of time to go. In response to the cringe-worthy question, R U In?, someone suggested Can’t You Tell?, which is good, but let’s not jinx them. Pullz It Out and crew were pushing hard for Hind-Stone Cowboy, but this scribe just couldn’t hear what the heck they were saying, and therefore thought it was lame (I blame parking garage acoustics). Other noms worth mentioning include Anal Miner, Spewlunker, and No Depth Perception. But in the end, it was Read My Lips’ exuberant nomination of Minor Shaft that won the crowd over (note the spelling).


Despite all our efforts, we still arrived at the bar around the end of the 3rd quarter…


On On,

Cleopapsmear