#1159 November 18, 2007 Annandale

Hares: Put It Out, Texas T&A, Hokie No Pokie, Closet Slut

Virgins: Just Brittany, Just Shirley (Honorary), Just U.S. Boobs And Oral Report (Liar)

Visitors: Explodes On Impact – Memphis H3

Brew Crew: Turbo Twat, Jerry Ass Tricks

Beer Bitch: Just Karen

Analversaries: None.

Long Time No Seers: Pond Scrum, Senor Douche Berg, Closet Fuck, Just Patrick, Beetlejuice

OnOnOn: Annandale AMF Bowling Lanes

What can I possibly tell you about this trail? The reason I ask is that it’s been over a week, and I can’t seem to remember much of anything that happened before yesterday. Let’s see what I can recall. There was shiggy. There was water. There were wankers a plenty. There was beer. COLD Beer! There were warm shots! Incidentally, your mom was very happy about that. And it was only five bucks! It’s already beginning to sound better than I remember it. Since I can’t remember shit, we’re going right into the violations because I wrote those down down down.

Violations:

Blows A Tranny: No statute of limitations. Tranny broke his nose 2 years ago on a trail that started in the same location. He RAN INTO A TREE!

Dildo Shaggins: Spent $40 on a sports bra, and pronounced that she should have been spending this much on her boobs all along.

Monday Sticky Monday: Racism. Monday apparently did pretty well in a 10 M!ler that morning.

Hares: Romulan Ale theme went too far. Wookin’ Pa Nub nearly died when he tried to run into the invisible fence on trail.

Underground Railroad: Waited too long to remove her last facial. Cock A Doodle Do Me had to help with an alcohol wipe.

Just Brittany and Just Heather: Sex on trail. Apparently Just Brittany kept her hands clean in the tunnel by maintaining a firm grip on Just Heather’s hips. I am so jealous!

Wookin’ Pa Nub: Chemical warfare in the tunnel. Nub made good on his promise to fart in the tunnel.

Put It Out: “Spreading gayness.” PIO insisted that the runners’ flour was “lilac.”

Bob Lowblaw: Getting bloody on trail wouldn’t be a violation, except that it was all on his knees.

Wednesday: Plans to satisfy someone’s fantasies including midgets and ducks. Have you met our friend Duck Duck Bush?

Gay Guy Counter: Pen[is] failure. Gay Guy apparently refuses to write with anything but the wrong end of his pen when someone asks him to write a violation about himself.

Fire In The Hole: Intercontinental booty call. She apparently traveled all the way to Botswana to see Road Kill.

Hash Shit:

I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss something with all of you. I’d like to think I’m a fairly generous guy. As such, it would be my great pleasure to give everyone who reads this trash a brand new, bright red Ferrari. There is just one problem with that. I don’t have (or know anyone else who is in possession of) a brand new, bright red Ferrari. Care to take a guess what that means to you? You don’t get a brand new, bright red Ferrari. Why? It’s all because YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY SOMETHING YOU DO NOT HAVE!!! So, while some of you were happy to issue nominations for the Hash Shit, and one of you was happy to solicit the nominations, I submit to you all that you wasted your time because Rambutt is still on a romantic island getaway with it. When she comes back, I bet she’ll still have it with her.

From there, it was ononon to bowling, where we all showed off our large balls, and asked the harriettes to be gentle with them. Somehow, I think 3-Holer would have been right at home, but he was nowhere to be found. Of note, Tabletop Bouncer achieved bowling greatness when she rolled a perfect 69.

On On,

Gay Guy Counter