#1155 October 28, 2007 Courthouse

Trail #1155: The "I just ran 26.2 miles I think I need to run some more," trail.


Hares: Obeastiologist, Titly Winks, Wooly Mammaries

Virgins: Just Blair, Just Bob, Just Andrea, Just Kate, Just Gus, Just Katherine, Just Jenn

Visitors: Up Chuck Fuck – Ft. Eustis, Craving Kimche Coochie – Humpin’ Hash, Slippery Log – Humpin’ Hash, Icebox – Humpin’ Hash, Shut The Fuck Up Asshole – Humpin’ Hash, Rack ‘Em and Smack ‘Em – Carolina Trash

Brew Crew: Mellow Foreskin Cheese, One Time At Hand Camp. Snap Crackle Poop was helping out in order to attempt to earn his $5 back. Thanks, but we’re keeping your money, Snap.

Beer Bitch: Just Breech

Analversaries: None.

Long Time No Seers: Saskatchewsnatch, Woosh, Cum Dumpling

OnOnOn: Dr. Dremos


The Courthouse trail immediately followed the Marine Corps M*rathon beer check this week. Titly and OBZ were kind enough to hare a trail that didn’t resemble the marathon nearly as much as the last few trails they did (ie it was flat and dry like your Mom). Really, it was a beautiful day in Arlington, almost sunny enough to make us forget how cold and windy it was, and there was absolutely no shiggy on trail. Thanks for keeping things tidy, girls. Next time please hire some male and female exotic dancers to at least keep things interesting.

When it came to welcoming virgins, the Penis Gallery was a little off their game this week. It got so bad that after four unsuccessful attempts at witty humor, the Penis Gallery got benched, and the final virgin to lose her innocence this week got to do so girl-on-girl. Way to go! Never leave a man to do a woman's job, that's what I always say.

Dr. Dremo’s was wonderful, as usual. However, it seems that nobody told them we’d be there. Seriously, how much trouble is it to say “Dude, we’re bringing 30 of our best friends on Sunday. Can you bring in some kitchen and wait staff to cover us?”? Regardless, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and if you didn’t hook up at the bar, it’s your own damn fault. Looks like the harerazor needs to spend less time masturbating and more time updating the "hare manual."On On to violations.


Violations:

Motormouth: Car bomb dud. Made Dairy Queen’s special order Marathon car bomb with Guinness Extra Stout.

Hares: Lied about haring a live trail. Either it was prelayed or Obeastiologist has a Kenyan hidden in his ass.

Dairy Queen: Spending his spare time working in an arcade so he can afford to come to the hash…AND PAY IN QUARTERS.

Gimme A Dick: Is on her (Safety) 3rd round of antibiotics since IAH in Puerto Vallarta. How many times do hashers need reminding.... No Glove, No Love.

Just Jessica: Quoted on trail saying “You could pull my pants down if you want to.”

Just Axel: Didn’t oblige Just Jess in the aforementioned permit to have his way.

Hares: No sweeper.

Follow The Bleeder: His girlfriend, Just Jenn, is a card-carrying lesbian. Really, we made her show us the card. Wooooo, somebody's going to be masturbating tonight.

Motormouth: Offered to stunt cock for anyone who couldn’t please their harriette due to fatigue from the Marine Corps Marathon. It's a good thing Motormouth has an arsenal of dildos.

Peace O’ Chum: Quoted on trail with “I hate it when it doesn’t fit in.” Chum please see above violation.

Just Axel: Intent upon urinating on a nearby “dumpster” only to see the sign that says “DANGER 240 VOLTS!” Safety 3rd.

Knee Deep Pussy High: Asked the Arlington Police Officer who busted the MCM Beer Check to cuff Motormouth for a photo. The real violation here being that she didn't ask them to keep him locked up.

Wookin’ Pa Nub: Fashion violation for dressing virgin harriettes in his work wear.


Hash Shit:

Rosary Anal Beads had the Hash Shit for one more week following her claim of Hash Shit immunity. The following wankers made a good case for why they should carry it around for the next week:

Wooly Mammaries: Getting lost on trail is okay if you’re not the walker hare.

Can’t Fuck Dust: Got lost on trail and had to call for directions so he could run the end circle.

Motormouth: Had to be told to shut up when arguing with Arlington PD at the MCM Beer Check.

Takes It Up the Ehhh: Left trash in I’d Tap That following last week’s hash.


It was really beginning to look like Motormouth would receive the hash shit, but Follow The Bleeder said it best when he said “Finally, a brother catches a break!” and we gave the Hash Shit to Takes It Up The Ehhh.


And, for the first time ever, we have a special feature in this week’s trash! It’s the Brew Crew Quote Of The Week! We asked the Brew Crew to give us the most meaningful quote they either heard from the pack or any wisdom they’d like to impart for this week’s trash, and boy did they come through! Your first ever Brew Crew Quote Of The Week is:

“FUCK YOU!”

- Mellow Foreskin Cheese



On On,

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