The White House Hash House Harriers
A drinking club with a running problem
Hash Trash #1155
Hares: Blows A Tranny, Dildo Shaggins, Can’t Find Pussy In A Haystack, Silver Spooge
Brew Crew: Hot Lunch, Takes It Up The Eh.
Virgins: Just Shirley, Just Kim
Visitors: Tabletop Bouncer – Homeless, Just Amy – Rhode Island, Just Jim – Silicone Valley, Vagina Whiner – Harrisburg Hershey, Louisville Sucker – Kimche H3, Sing Me A Thong – I didn’t get from where.
Long Time No Seers: Reach Around
Analversaries: Nasty When Wet – 25, Gimme A Dick – 100
Beer Bitch: Just Axel (Long live GNR!!!)
So according to Silver Spooge, the trail was like his sister; curvy, wet, and leaves scratch marks. However, I have it on good authority that unlike this trail, Spooge’s sister really does have a wet, stinky tunnel. I guess incest is best. Seriously, how can you find that much water and shiggy in the Village of Shirlington? It’s like these hares are all using divining rods or something. We all got wet, which is so much nicer when we’re talking about spending time with Spooge’s sister (and his mom when we’re really lucky), and we enjoyed the trek through hill, dale, and apartment complex thereafter. So, let’s get to the stupidity, ‘cause there was plenty of it.
Violations:
Plays With Sticks, Louisville Sucker, & Just Shirley: New Shoes. All got to drink from them except Just Shirley. As she’s a virgin, Vagina Whiner got to do the honors for her. Let’s hope he got to do the honors to her later.
Wookin Pa Nub: Apparently spend his whole time on trail straddling poles. I can’t imagine why Nubby doesn’t get more action.
Nasty When Wet: Tells Dairy Queen “I haven’t met you. What’s your name?” To which DQ replies “We were making out at the Lingerie Run.”
Hares: Held the beer check at a place called “Sure Shot” with neither a shot check nor a money shot. We got robbed!
Just Shirley: Overheard on trail saying “I’m wet, but not in a good way.” Really this one should have been for all harriers letting her down on this issue.
Tastes Great Always Willing: Not so willing to cross the stream. So much for that naming.
Hokie No Pokie: Led half the pack back 40 from a BC 20. Needs to lead the pack back to kindergarten, I think.
Wookin’ Pa Nub: Spent Saturday night naked in bed with a hot women (as yet unnamed, and therefore unconfirmed), and got NO LOVIN’.
Blows A Tranny: Got angry at Underground Railroad for grabbing his package. Unacceptable hash behavior.
Underground Railroad: If Tranny got angry, you’re doing it wrong. Come to my place for lessons.
Just Shirley: Told Jeffe Lengua “As long as you don’t use your tongue, it’s okay.” First, no it’s not. Second, do you know his name?
And thank God there was some Hash Shit present! Apparently, Rosary Anal Beads Had the Hash Shit for claiming immunity. Just so you know, this isn’t Survivor, okay? The competition to take the Hash Shit wasn’t very enthusiastic, but here’s the summary:
Rosary Anal Beads: One more week!
Tooth Fairy: Michael Vick impersonation by hosting a dog fight at the start, starring Irritable Bow Wow Syndrome.
Wookin’ Pa Nub: Vanity. Apparently nub doesn’t like his own ass.
Blows A Tranny: Planned the circle in a location where I’d Tap That wouldn’t fit. The vertical clearance in the parking garage was just a little to low for her.
Motormouth: For needing a Gay Guy and a Dildo to be a winner.
And the winner is…Rosary Anal Beads
And then it was on out to Capital City Brewing Company, where the specials weren’t quite what we had hoped, but the freebies from your sister and your mom more than made up for it.
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