The White House Hash House Harriers
A drinking club with a running problem
#1154 October 14, 2007 Ballston
Hares: CRAFTY, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Mr. Magoo
Virgins: Just Patrick, Just Karen (No idea who made them cum, but here’s hoping that somebody did!)
Visitors: Dick Cherry Tracy, Funties (??)
Brew Crew: That adorable duo… Thong Butt Not Forgotten and Gay-Rod
Beer Bitch: Underground Railroad (Apparently made some comment along the lines of “I’ve never been beer bitch before… hmm”)
Analversaries: Nothing of note…
Long Time No Seers: Can’t remember their names because they never come around anymore…
OnOnOn: Buffalo D’s
No scribes actually ran this trail… but we hear it wasn’t half bad. I mean… it was sh!tty. It was a sh!tty, sh!tty trail. There might have been a scribe on trail, but she couldn’t find the start… even though it was at the parking deck we’ve been to 537 times before.
Underground Railroad: Lazy auto-hashing… caught a ride for the last 50 feet of trail.
Just Lisa: Stopped to take a squat on trail, got up and promptly ran into a wall. We cheer this particularly lame violation however, because she had to take her top off to show us her injuries. Hooray for bras.
Motormouth: Rendezvous with Just Terry… she thought she was on the midnight express, turns out she was on the short bus and had to get off (kinda the point really). Shouldn’t we really be violating Just Terry for this one???
Knee Deep Pussy High: Felt that Bob Boblaw’s birthday was a good excuse for her to get wasted… and she’s right, it was.
Mr. Magoo: Thought he could class up the walker’s trail with a wine tasting… not too classy if you’re using Boone’s Farm though!
Just Jen (Jess?): Discovered that size, in fact, does matter while attempting to steal another hasher’s shoes.
It’s Buttfucking Time: Made a booty call during circle… and it wasn’t to who you think it was! Ok yeah… it was ;-)
Drip Dry: Bringing her bike on the walker’s trail (this is a lame nomination)
Motormouth: Being a weak songmeister (come on… we can do better than this)
Just Lisa: For showing her bra (are we discouraging this behavior now??)
…and the “winner” is…
Rosary Anal Beads: Thought somehow she was immune to the Hash Shit… and saw fit to announce that.
Time for a naming! And it’s none other than our favorite bra flasher of the day, Just Lisa. Just Lisa hails from Gaithersburg, works in Biotech Manufacturing, and enjoys long walks on the beach. This dirty little minx also lost her virginity on her parents’ bed at age 13! Don’t worry though; it wasn’t to one of her parents…
There were a few weak nominations in reference to losing her virginity (Lucky 13, Almost 14, Oceans 15) but these didn’t make it past the first cut. In honor of her violation, Wallbanger was suggested… funny, but not funny enough. When asked about her sexual exploits she replied with I’m Always Willing. (Happy to hear it, but we’re trying to name you here…) Some clever (or dyslexic) hasher heard that and suggested Willing All Ways, but it didn’t take.
The RA, Can’t F*ck Dust, simply wasn’t impressed with the suggestions and attempted to throw her back, at which point she asked, “what does that mean? I have to get On My Knees Again?” (Well, if you’re offering… but let’s go ahead and get you named first).
Thanks to the rallying efforts of one loud-mouthed hasher (no, it wasn’t Motormouth) WH4 is proud to present the newly dubbed, Tastes Great, Always Willing. She’s a hasher, she’s true blue…
Cleopapsmear. Editors note: this was Cleo's first time. Everyone please, congratulate her on finally popping her cherry.