#1149 September 16, 2007 Ft. Reno Park

#1149 September 16, 2007 Ft. Reno Park

Hares: Snatch Shot, $50 Bitch, Runway Snatch, Cheese Wizz, Fiddy Cent, Dime Bag

Virgins: Just Meg, Just Breech, Just Holly, Just Rachel, Just Stacy

Visitors: Squeaky – Wurzburg, Chef BoyarDum – Carolina Trash, Bored Stiff – Geneva, Idaho – BAH3

Brew Crew: Chewbacca, It’s Buttfucking Time

Beer Bitch: Just Abby

Analversaries: Read My Lips – 100, Blank Shot Up The Ass - 25

Long Time No Seers: Apparently everyone of you wankers has been cumming regularly. Good for you!

OnOnOn: The Dancing Crab

This week’s trail was the Eco-Bitch challenge. Our infamous hares warned us that the trail would be very long and hard, which was good news for all the harriettes on trail. I, your fearless scribe, can’t tell you much about the trail as my hangover was a good excuse to trek the walker portion of the program. Regardless, you were all hot, wet, and smelly when the trail was over. My experience is that those are important criteria for having had a good time. Good time or not, though, you apparently did a lot of stupid shit. On on to violations!

Violations:

One Time At Hand Camp: Hurt his wrist with excessive masturbation. By the way, it’s okay to switch hands when you start getting sore. No need for repetitive motion injuries.

Blank Shot Up The Ass, True Tail, and Oral Presentation: All brought virgins who didn’t know who made them cum. I like anonymous sex as much as anybody, but learn their name if you’re going out afterward.

Just Stacy: New shoes. Since Just Stacy was a virgin, Oral Presentation got to do the honors for that one.

Wooly Mammaries: Offered Just Holly amnesty if she wanted to discard her warm beer for a new cold one. Just Holly told Wooly that she wasn’t going to waste good beer. Good girl! Wooly got a special, warmed down down for that one.

Hares: Safety Third Violation for excessive use of gravitational force. Jeffe Lengua fell down and almost hurt himself. Wussy!

Butt Brown Ale: Stated that if he were given a choice of sex with Read My Lips or Backdoor Buckaroo, he’d have to choose Backdoor Buckaroo. Either he hasn’t seen Read My Lips or he was confused into thinking it was her Backdoor he’d be having sex with.

Just Breech: Safety Third Violation for running into a street sign. Gotta watch those things; they’re sneaky!

Brew Crew: Same beer presented as dark and light beers. One tastes great, one is less filling.

Cleopapsmear: Wanted one of the large sticks of chalk to take home. I’ll gladly follow that trail mark!

Hares: Safety Third Violation for sending the pack on a two-lane road with no sidewalk. It’s not fun to be road kill, okay?

Slurpee: Less than 24 hours after her birthday hash, she was still puking. That would be okay, except that it happened when Tooth Fairy offered her a sip of his beer. Just say yes!

Crafty: Safety Third Violation for riding on the bumper of $50 Bitch’s car during trail. If you didn’t notice the baby bump, someone’s already been riding her bumper recently.

True Tail: Offered a very special user training seminar for Safety Third.

Hash Shit:

Motormouth had the Hash Shit for intentionally winning it for PV. The following wankers offered to take it off his hands:

Rear Protein Injection: Said “Motormouth shouldn’t have the Hash Shit. In retrospect, that was a stupid thing to say.”

Spinal Tap: Ran the fastest 30 feet in his life when he realized that the flashing harriettes were facing away from him in the circle. Then, told us all how much fun it was to be nominated for the Hash Shit.

Slurpee: Lied about her age last week.

Gay Guy Counter: Got out danced by a 50 year old Saturday night.

True Tail & Tooth Fairy: For solving Safety Third. It’s not a Rubik’s Cube!

Chef Boyardum: Trying on his lingerie (for the RDR prelube) backwards.

And the winner is…Spinal Tap!

And then we named Just Beer Van! It turns out that Just Beer Van is from Cockeysville, MD. She’s a ’97 who prefers 69. Before cumming to WH4, she did some work in the electrical industry, but we all think she has extensive experience in plumbing, if you know what I mean. We’re not sure how it happened, but she’s got a little damage to the rear bumper that affects her back door performance. Recommended names include:

American Ho Systems

Back Door Snatch

Shaggin’ Wagon

Motley Screw

Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him!

Pole Her Bear

You’re White, But I’d Still Fuck You

Frigid Bitch

The Gay Team

Moby’s Dick

Beer Force One

Sticky Back Door

Unlatched Snatch

Carmen Monoxide

Fucked Or Reamed Daily

But given how attractive she is, we had to name her I’d Tap That!

By the way, have any of you seen a hasher passed out ON A BAR STOOL!?!? I have! That might have been the coolest thing ever! Ask your friends about it, and pray that hash flash obtained a record of it for you.

On On,

Gay Guy Counter