The White House Hash House Harriers
A drinking club with a running problem
#1148 September 9, 2007 Langdon Park
#1148 September 9, 2007 Langdon Park
Hares: Semen on the Pew, Just Gretchen, Pimp Of Sarajevo, Red River Runs Through It
Virgins: Just Axel, Just Terry, Just Noah
Visitors: Nobody loved us enough to visit this week.
Brew Crew: Turbo Twat, Takes It Up The Eh
Beer Bitch: Just Lyn
Analversaries: Apparently, we all have lives outside the hash.
Long Time No Seers: Half Pint, The Whore Of Sarajevo, Hare ‘Em Scare ‘Em
OnOnOn: Saint’s Bourbon Street
Okay it’s been over a week, and I’ve been absolutely sauced at least once since all this happened. As I recall, we began our adventure through rolling meadows and drunken tailgaters. There was a trail and some shiggy, and we seem to have found a couple of great project cars for all those do-it-yourselfers out there. I know I occasionally do it myself (but I digress). The hares were kind enough to provide a shot check, but some asshole replaced our regular shot check with Robitussin. I wasn’t sick before the shot check, but I was feeling a little under the weather after it.
Bob Lowblaw: Had his condom at the ready for any unsuspecting virgins at sign-in. They might have been that easy in PV, but you’ve got to work a little harder now that you’re home.
Jackoff Lantern, Bad Ditch & Gay Guy Counter: The shoe saga. Gay Guy Counter forgot his shoes, so Bad Ditch offered a pair she found at home, saying they were Jackoff Lantern’s and that she was going to return them to him today. Jackoff Lantern arrived later wearing new shoes. About half way through trail we all found out that he didn’t own the shoes Bad Ditch gave Gay Guy Counter. So on principle, Gay Guy Counter and Jackoff Lantern were drinking out of shoes while Bad Ditch used Safety Third because safety is important if your anonymous sex partners are leaving anything under your bed.
Slip Knot: Turned 50 for the 30th time. Dude, life comes at you fast. Safety Third.
Pimp Of Sarajevo: Regarding Duck Duck Bush, he says “He’s cumming up the rear.”
Duck Duck Bush: Cumming up the rear. The money shot is supposed to be in the face, Duck Duck.
Bob Lowblaw: Asked Motormouth to pinch hit a song for him. At least Knee Deep Pussy High knows what to expect if Bob’s not in the mood.
The Whore Of Sarajevo: Expressed guilt for walking second leg of trail.
Follow The Bleeder: Short cut straight to DFL. Nice work, Bleeder.
Beer Bitch, Just Lyn: Down Downs were too full. This just proves that hashers will whine about anything. If we don’t get beer, we whine. If we get beer, we whine.
Motormouth and the Hash Shit returned from their romantic getaway in Puerto Vallarta, and finally admitted to intentionally getting the Hash Shit so he could take it to PV. Other nominations are below:
Back Snatch: Looking absolutely dapper after the hash
Schwankendick: Has a dog that can’t run trail
Bob Lowblaw: There was mention about a number of harriettes that have something in common. Don’t ask!
And the winner is…Motormouth!
And then we named Just Jen! It turns out that Just Jen is a mortgage lending representative who went to school in Uniontown PA. She likes horses, and prefers to be taken doggy-style. (Remember that one, fellas.) She belongs to a wine club called “Girls on Grapes” and has definitely thought about being with a girl, but apparently has yet to try it. She is a card-carrying member of the mile high club, and was apparently the recipient of a large cock while riding on a train. Recommended names went like this:
“By the way, have you ever had sex in a car?”
Then we named her Planes, Trains & Automobiles!
Gay Guy Counter