#1147 September 3, 2007 Adams Morgan / Woodley Park

#1147 September 3, 2007 Adams Morgan / Woodley Park


Hares: Obeastiologist, Choke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em and Just Rob
Incidentally, I’m having a little déjà vu here. Didn’t I just write this trash for last week? Except this week they don't have Titly Winks slowing them down. Trouble!!!
Beer Bitch: Sucks Cock for Crack
Virgins: Just Richard, Just Matthew, and Just Laura
Visitors: Mouthful Of Clam – Ithaca, Wednesday – Wurzburg, Jeffe Lengua – Wurzburg, Wrong Way Felchman, Orally Twice Daily – Denver, Hard Little Pianist – Edmonton, Just Lynn – Got lost at her first hash with EWH3, followed a miracle trail to WH4’s hash


Long Time No-Seers: Poke An Eye Out, Reach Around
Analversaries: Titly Winks – 200, 3-2-1 Fuck Off – 100
Brew Crew: Hungry Hungry Homo, Gimme An Oohhh
OnOnOn: Millie & Al’s

So I know a few hares who suffer from serious inferiority complexes. It turns out that these unnamed losers are trying to prove their dominance by having everyone run a marathon hash for two weeks IN A ROW. Have you ever met anyone who would do such a thing? Maybe it’s just me. Seriously, this trail was long and covered with shiggy. Make your own perverse joke; this one’s too easy for me. After the trail, everyone went straight to the bar to try and hook up. If you missed it, that’s okay. Your mom was good company, and she’s a cheap drunk. Think of it like this, the average height of the hares was easily 6'3" and that's only because they call someone who's 6 feet 'short'. Now take the average hash height, 5'4" for the ladies and maybe add on 2" for the men assuming it's not cold out and they didn't just get out of the shower or the pool. If I were 6'3" (I would totally be on the US women's beach volleyball team just so I could roll around in the sand with my teammate...sorry side tracked) I'd be able to cover more ground faster. Damn you hares for discriminating against "average" height hashers and your ability to reach tall things. I despise you!!
Now on to the most awesomest circle ever, led by Cock A Doodle Do Me.

Violations:
Hares: Safety Third: The whole drunken pack had to perform a tightrope act on trail.

3-2-1 Fuck Off & Tapped Three Times: Racism on trail. These two exchanged a VERY enthusiastic low five after short cutting to a true trail mark. I was sure they were about to mark the occasion with celebratory anal sex, but I didn’t see the need to wait for it.

Hares: Trying to start a drinking club with a marathon problem. Really, when it didn’t work last week, why did you bother?


Titly Winks: Swept the trail, but had no clue where it was supposed to go.

Follow The Bleeder: Pointed out that we live in a very big city with a lot of asphalt, but somehow we always find so much shiggy on trail. Apparently, Bleeder would like us to run a straight, flat trail on pavement.

Hard Little Pianist: Introduced himself to all the harriettes by his nerd name. A little self conscious, are we? Hey speaking on behalf of the ladies, at least he's hard.


Wetback Mount Him: Bent over at the beer check, and proclaimed “Oh my god, I’m so tight.” Come to think of it, I’m not sure where Snap Crackle Poop’s squirt gun was while that was happening. Hmmm.

Wookin Pa Nub: Trying to start a drinking club with a marathon problem. Really, when it didn’t work last week, why did you bother?

Hash Shit:
Motormouth is still in possession of the hash shit, and saw fit to have some additional quality time with it before returning from Puerto Vallarta to WH4.


OnOn,
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