#1142 July 30, 2007 East Falls Church Metro

Hares: Assflack, All Lickie No Dickie, Chicken F*ker and Jingle Jizz
Virgins: Just Thomas, Just Shannon, Just April, Just Sean
Visitors: Tasty Twat ( Bahrein)
Beer Bitch: Mother May I
Long Time Noseers: All Lickie No Dickie
Analversaries: Gay Rod (25), Peace 'O Chum (25), Chicken F*ker (25), Dildo Shagins (100) and Jack-Off Lantern (200)
Brew Crew: Hot Lunch & Wookin' Pnub
OnOnOn: Clare and Don's

It was a glorious day in N. Arlington and every hasher who had sobered up from the camping trip weekend (or managed to get someone to pour their still-drunk-ass into a car) showed up to keep the party going. We headed out from the East Falls Church for an 8 leaf clover loop which took us back to the start for the beer check. The rest of the trail was short and sweet, if by short you mean hilly and by sweet you mean poison ivy shiggy.

Violations:
Snap Crackle Poop: Misread today's trail news and thought it was "Impersonate your favorite registered sex offender" hash. He was over heard on trail saying, "I never knew a beanie and a penis water gun could be so much fun!"

Jack-Off Lantern: Safety 3rd Violation: This past Sunday, after most of you had packed up your tents and headed back to real life, Jack-Off Lantern was struck with the spirit of conquest and attempted to scale the rock wall next to the camp site. He tried 4 times. He fell...4 times. Not to worry, however, Queerly I'm Straight was his lifeguard.

Chasing the Beast: Today on trail, while literally standing on a true trail mark, called out "Are you?! Are you?!"

Tooth Fairy: Walked up to Snap Crackle Poop at the beer check and started spinning his beanie top saying, "I'm trying not to beat your head off."

And a very special violation for Read My Lips and Backdoor Buckaroo who announced their engagement. Phew! Thank God those two dogs are out of the pool!

Hash Shit:
Dairy Queen: He has climbed Mt. Ranier...twice, he worked in wilderness rescue and has his Eagle Scout yet all of this outdoor experience failed him when, after Saturday's trail and before the tubing trip he decided to duck into the woods to take care of some business. He had planned on washing off in the river, but when he squat down low and behold he saw the perfect butt wiping plant right infront of him! It had 3 nicely shaped leaves and a smooth waxing surface that would be ideal! If only he could figure out why his ass is so itchy now...

Mount My Rear: She doesn't actually need the Hash Shit, just the helmet off of it.

Snap Crackle Poop: For bringing a molded copy of his boyfriend's penis to the hash.

Two Lips in the Bush: For the forced march he dragged the Eagles through on Saturday and because this is the last week he will be in the country to carry the hash shit on trail.

Obeisteologist: One more week!

Jack-Off Lantern: For using a tree across the riverfrom the camp site for hatchet throwing target practice while Bob Loblaw played rocking horse on his tube in the way.

And your winner is: Two Lips in the Bush

Dairy Queen, you can consider that a freebie and you can almost bet your ass that you'll get the hash shit next week, by then you ass should be weepy!

OnOn,
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