#1135 July 9, 2007 U St. Metro

Hares: Tit-ly Winks, Obeastiologist, Peace O’ Chum
Virgins: Just Andrew
Visitors: Bunzilla (Beijing), Sodom-Me!
Beer Bitch: Daffy Fuck
Long Time Noseers: Nasty When Wet
Analversaries: Blows A Tranny (69 runs) and Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me (69 runs)
Brew Crew: Thong Butt Not Forgotten and Gay Rod
OnOnOn: Stetsons

Two live hares in two weeks can only mean two things: it’s summer time in Washington and the WH4 kennel remembers what it means hash!

With a heat index of well over 100 degrees today only the heartiest (or most masochistic) of you showed up. But where was the shiggy we were promised? Where was the waist deep PI we were “warned about?” Instead we were treated to a 5 mile, pavement pounding Tour de Alleys and a trail laid cleverly enough to lose Put It Out who rolled into ending circle 45 minutes after the walkers.


He wasn’t the only one was fashionably late. Two Lips in the Bush and Bob Loblaw showed up at the beer check with barely enough time to toss one back before runners were On-Out. They were overheard bitching about there being no flour on the Eagle trail (that’s because there was no Eagle trail…that’s what you get for zenning boys!)
Drip Dry was another late arrival at the beer check, but she knows how to make an entrance. When she heard that the walker’s trail was going to be just over 3 miles, she went back to get her bike. Drip Dry “bashed” her way to the BC and arrived talking on her cell phone...sipping Chardonay.

That's right boys and girls, there was no shortage of people to laugh at today. Other violatable hashers include:

Bob Loblaw: For putting "Safety Third!" when deciding that removing the frayed edges of his jeans by jumping the campfire was a good idea.

AKA Newbie ran the hash with neon green hand weights. Mom may have taught us to "never go in empty handed" but there were plenty of harriers who would have helped her out with this. The weights were really unneccessary.

Please Step Away From the Whores was still bitching about last weeks trail at this one (get a life) and it turns out he drove all the way to VA Beach last weekend for a date, and the guy stood him up!

This past weekend at the pre-camping trip camping trip, Jack-Off Lantern challenged Knee Deep Pussy High to a shotgun contest. After strategically warming up his beer in his junk he still got his ass kicked by Knee Deep.

Back Snatch got so fired up on today's trail that he had to ask a guy in Dupont to hose him down.

Slash Master & Cute for a Sasquatch have been hashing with us under assumed hash names since the Spring. Apparently they git their kicks out of traveling the world, visiting different kennels and telling each hash that they were named in St. Kits. Excellent. Liars should fit in splendidly here!

But why waste your time with violations when there is a Hash Shit to give away?! And the nominees are...

Drip Dry: Not only did she "bash" today's trail, earlier this after noon Shamrock Your Cock called her up and asked, "Hey Whatcha doin'?" Drip Dry bitched, "I have been screwing ALL DAY!" To which Shamrock replied, "Then why are you so cranky?!"

AKA Newbie: The hand weight thing (see above)

Spinal Tap: For riding bitch on the Harley while Hasher Humper drove.

That "no name" couple from above.

Peace O' Chum for starting todays trail with a chalk dildo and finishing with a worn down nub.

Put It Out for showing up at ending circle after all and ruining all of our plans for the 1st Annual Put It Out Memorial Hash.

And the Hash Shit goes to...Drip Dry

We also managed to squeeze a naming into this funfilled extravaganza. Just Diana has been hashing with us for awhile now and we thought it was time to get to know her better.

Here's the scoop on Just Diana:
GMU grad, studied Arts and Visual Technology. Favorite animal is a horse. Likes lesbo fun, like "motorboating", but the last time she had sex it was with a guy... over 7 months ago. Fav sexual position is doggie style, "of course!", she says. She has been hanging out on several different boats lately, including Motormouth's, and has projectile vomited off of them, several times. When she was 16, she was making out with a guy 9 years older than her in a car, and they got busted... by cops.... so, they ran from the cops.

Some suggested names:
Cobwebs
Jailbait
Riker's Dryland
Dry Socket
Conjugal Visit
Blowlita
But the winner was... "Snatchutory Rape"

OnOn,
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