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#1130 June 11, 2007 Foggy Bottom Metro 2nd Stage of the Tour duh Hash

Hares: Li’l Red Ride Me Good, Kiel Bastard, U.S. Boobs & Oral Report, Cock-A-Doodle-Do-Me

Virgins: Just Bri, Just Maggie

Visitors: Just Mike (DCH4), Call Girl, Rotten Whore (Chicago), Gladiator, El Dia-blow (Bakersfield) Presidential Nasty (Dallas), Daffy Fuck, Putter Jumpers, Mr. Bean

Beer Bitch: Just Kearsty

Analversaries: Drip Dry (69th Run)

Brew Crew: Thong butt not forgotten and Stop the Erection I want to Get OFF

OnOnOn: Rhino Bar


For Stage 2 of the Tour duh Hash we circled up in Foggy bottom with a great turnout and loads of visitors, most memorable was El Dia-blow who was in town as a chaperon for his daughter’s middle school trip and snuck away just long enough defile himself with us/drink lots before spending quality time with impressionable youths.


During opening circle, while all you wankers were focusing carefully on your GM Jack-Off Lantern, Obiestiologist had carelessly left the Hash Shit unattended. I turned around just in time to catch Shamrock My Cock’s dog Guinness Stout relieving himself all over it. I thought it would be best to reveal this information on a need to know basis and therefore kept it to myself until a more appropriate time.


Your temporarily injured scribe joined up with the walkers for a truly exciting trail while your fully functional scribe co-hared this shitty trail (it was not shitty, it was the BEST TRAIL EVER!!!).


The walkers took a tour of the seediest back alleys of Georgetown. We came upon a craps game and a coke deal within one block of one another and even spotted Elizabeth Edwards poop scooping for the family dog in Dumbarton Oaks park.


Sorry, that’s actually the adventurous walkers trail I was hoping for at every turn (read: 1 turn) instead we headed straight down M street, hung a hair raising left onto the Key Bridge and on in to the beer check in Rosslyn (oh so sorry, next time I'll rent you a segway with a full throttle engine so you can race other walkers up to 3 miles per hour).


From the Beer Check we headed back over the Key Bridge and down to the river’s edge. I have to hand it to the Hares, they managed to find the exact point where all the wealthy, elitist, sushi eating, filet mignon ordering Georgetown poop empties into the Potomac. Perfect place for an ending circle!


Violations:

  • Just Mike: Waiting IN LINE to take a leak in a port-o-john on the Mall.

  • Va-Giant: Like our long lost GM Wang Chunks, she too prefers small Asian women and nearly lodged one in her throat on trail.

  • Two Lips in the Bush & A-salt my Ass: Doing the Tour duh Hash long before there was a T-Shirt for it (read: hashing every night of the week)

  • Air Spanker One: Thought he was on fire on trail and spontaneously Stopped, Dropped and Rolled.

  • Obeistiologist: Adding a baggy of his dog’s shit to the Hash Shit and running the entire trail with a dog piss soaked T-shirt wrapped around it without knowing it.


Violations Part Deux:
*Cum Dumling and Just Mike for fitting in a few precious minutes in a port-a-jon to have sex on trail. I'm so proud.
*Das Kunt, please help this man for he does not understand the hash. Rather then assist Winn Dick Me in undressing he helped her keep her shorts on.
*Two Lips in the Bush and Double Header- for being racists. If that was not enough, the reason everyone found out was because they both shaved their legs.
*Can't Fuck Dust (fill in for Butt Brown Ale)- BBA is on a self imposed weight training regimen, for what you might ask? A masturbation marathon, but since BBA left early to go "Get HUGE" at the gym, it was only proper that Can't Fuck Dust drink for his life partner.


Hash Shit Nominations:

  • Gay Guy Counter: Left the bar last week with 2 harriettes. When one of them took his hand the other one turned around and slapped him.

  • Takes It Up the Eh: Ending circle on a parking deck across from the police station last week.

  • Obiestiologist: Overheard saying, “There’s no way I’m getting the hash shit AGAIN!” He also lost part of the hash shit on trail. And for having the Guinness take a wiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz on the hash shit. And for paying $300,000 for a blow job. Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?! I know tons of chicks that will do that for $299,999. You were robbed.

  • A-salt My Ass: Georgetown wannabe with a popped collar. And for sacrificing his education for the hash (Please don't!!!!! I'm not kidding).

  • Spinal Tap: for being old. Well, more specifically he was so old that he couldn't remember the last time he took a shit. So really he needed the hash shit to help him take a shit. Have some sympathy people!!!! They don't just hand out handicap parking passes.

  • Put It Out: Skinny Dipping in the Potomac with A-Salt My Ass.


Your winner: Obeistiologist.

This was followed up by lots of nudity and hooking up at the bar, too bad you missed it!

OnOn,

Double Header & Cock-a-doodle-do-Me (All over your face!!!)