#1123 April 29, 2007, Braddock Rd Metro

#1123 April 29, 2007, Braddock Rd Metro

Hares: Bob Loblaw, Wooly Mammaries, and Turbo Twat

Start: Braddock Rd Metro

Virgins: Just Sara (Single), Just Lisa (Single), Just Patrick (Single), Just Christine (Married), and Just Russle (Single)

Visitors: Mr. Happy Pockets (Saipan), Can Pussy (Chicago), and Slash Master (St. Kits)

Brew Crew: Please Step Away From The Whores & Hot Lunch

Beer Bitch: Just Liz

OnOnOn: Rustico Restaurant & Bar


Sunday was a absolutely gorgeous day, so people flocked to the hash. Wookin For Nub after waking up in a closet, had to cum out of the closet to show up, while Runway Snatch tore herself away from her hallway mat and pool of drool. Yay for getting trashed on Saturdays!! I think people primarily come to the hash on Sundays to find out what TOTALLY AWESOME things they did the night before. Speaking of Totally Awesome, did you know A Salt My Ass is Totally Awesome?? You'll find out about that and more in a bit.

There was a trial, but since I didn't run the first half and didn't have to suffer through Blows a Tranny's practical joke of changing the "Turkey/Eagle" split to "Tough/Easy" (way to go harerazor!!) I'll skip to the best part of trail, THE CIRCLE!!!!

The circle started out normal enough with a tribute to the special oplympics presented by Queerly I'm Straight, Runway Snatch, and Palm Pilot having a football competition. Not only did they all throw worse then a midget with no arms, but the football hit the ground more times than A Salt My Ass has done some stupid.

This was shortly followed by VIOLATIONS:

-A Salt My Ass: Did you know that "Topher" is totally awesome? I didn't either, but I found out after he wrote me a check paying for my service of spanking his bare ass. The heading on his check read, "Topher Is Totally Awesome." Yay for personalized checks. Who writes checks anymore?

-Just Kevin: had a flash back during the mile long tunnel on trail and was overheard saying, "I haven't bent over this much since prison." (Just wait until I get a hold of you!)

-Fire in the Hole: Searched for cock all week and found success in Florida of all places, where she found the "biggest cock ever." (Uh I'll see all of you in two weeks, I'll be in Florida this weekend.)

-Just Leslie: Decided that she was tired of guys just not satisfying her needs doggy style, so she's getting "HARDER!!" tattooed on her lower back.

-Palm Pilot: Wanted to show the crowd how p*ssy whipped he was by washing his girlfriend's shoes at the beer check.

-Jag Queen and Delivery Boy: During the tunnel Jag Queen didn't bend over far enough and cut his head open. Good thing we had OBGYN, Delivery Boy, on hand to patch him up quickly. Mad props to Delivery Boy for pulling a McGyver and using a maxi pad to stop Jag Queen's gushing wound. Jag Queen is now full ready to go down on a girl at absolutely any moment under any circumstance.

-Whoosh and SALT Lick Titties: for having sex on trail and not using protection.

Now onto the HASH S.H.I.T!!!
It's a good thing people were soooo smart on this trail, and the nominees are....
-Can't F*ck Dust: falling asleep on the job (seriously both you and girl are left unsatisfied, that sucks)

-Knee Deep Pussy High: for following the motto 'the best defense is a breast defense.' And distracted the RA numerous times with large erect nipples.

-Runway Snatch: for playing flip cup with brew crew and putting the brew crew in a head lock (this is not a metaphor, this really happened, that is server alcohol abuse).

And the winner without question, Runway Snatch!!!

What was next?? A NAMING!!!! Since it was a nice day and everyone wanted to save the circle, it was time to name the beer bitch, Just Liz.
Just Liz is a teach from Colorado who likes pottery, threesomes, sucking on sticks of butter, and sex on civil war sites. (I don't know about you, but I'm turned on.) This inspired such names as Rubbing the Nub, Battlefield Booty, Do Me Moore, Awesome Cock Sucker, and Dicklaration of Indapenis. Hence for and forever more Just Liz will be known as Dicklaration of Indapenis! Go out there and make our for fathers proud!

Circle then ended and everyone went to the bar.

Normally this is where the trash would stop but this particular Sunday turned out to be quite event full.

Knee Deep, Screws on First, and Whoosh had a contest to see who could make out with the most girls in one night. You'll have to ask one of them who won.

Blows A Tranny decided to kick off his two week vacation by prancing around in a shirt that read "Boy Toy" and asking all the harriets and hares to give him hickeys on his stomach. HOT HOT HOT!!

Sunday was sooo crazy we even had a SECOND NAMING!!!!!!!!! After learning that Just Leslie was from Kentunky, we promptly named her FINGER LICKING GOOD!!!

I don't think I can handle this much craziness in one hash, I'm going on vacation in Florida.

OnOut,
Cocky