Trail #1119 April 1, 2007

Hash #1119 April 1, 2007 April Fools Hash
Location: East Falls Church
Hares: Can't Fuck Dust, Tits, Bob Loblaw, Winn Dick Me
OnOnOn: Clare ‘n’ Don’s
Virgin’s: Just Jeff, Just Bree and Just Judy
Visitors: None
Beer Bitch: Just Will
Analversaries: Test Tube Baby (269 runs)

[pictures]

As the weather gets nicer, more and more of you wankers come crawling out drowsy heroin dens and stale brothels where you spend the winter months to grace us with your pasty complexions. The long time no seers were too many to count today. There’s Two Lips in the Bush just home from a year in the sand box, I Dream of Weenie showed off what she’s “expecting” while Duck Job and Fiddy Dollar Bitch displayed the evidence of their negligent use of prophylactics. Ahh…spring has sprung.

For many of you over achievers the day began with a 10 mile warm up which had you stumbling along on trail with breaking blisters (Little Red Ride Me Good) and burning quads. Suckers.

Schlong Time Coming threw out Tri-Ass-a-Thong’s back breaking in their new sex swing on Saturday night. Casanada didn’t miss an opportunity to provide a chiropractic adjustment for her at the beer check.

Yellow Submarine came down with a case of explosive diarrhea and shat on trail, blaming it on his horse.

Today was also the coming out party for Summer’s Eve & KP’s gay love child, Just Will. We popped his cherry and christened him with a new name.

The hash shit went to Runway Snatch who ran unopposed. She was awarded the honor for the second week for her impression of Queerly I’m Straight and polluting Four Mile Run with recycled Mimosas. She only incriminated herself further when she reached into her work bag and pulled out a pair of zip ties to affix her contribution to the shit. Gotta love a girl who’s always ready for a good cuffing.

Two of you walked away from today’s trail with a little more than you brought with you. I am not referring to Crouching Tiger Hidden Boner’s case of the clap; it’s called a naming people.

Just Will didn’t get a chance to tell us much about himself. His face earned him his name. Nominations included Smells Like Fish, Summer’s Bitch, Kandy Douche and Spring Douche. None of these quite captured the essence of the resemblance, however. Henceforth and throughout the world of hashing Just Will is now the Massengil Man.

Not wanting to miss out on all the attention from you sexy harriettes Just Jason stripped off his shirt, dropped to his knees and relinquished himself to the molesting hands of Little Red Ride Me Good. Just Jason is a pilot who works out a lot and enjoys playing out S & M fantasies. He has reported to the flight deck late after particularly juicy fantasies in the past. Suggestions for names included Small Cock Pit, Red Barron, Poor White Trash, Quiefer Sutherland and Tail Hook. None of these captured his character quite as well as Palm Pilot though.

OnOn

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The Funny Scribe
(April Fools)