Hash #1122 April 22, 2007


Hash #1122 April 22, 2007 Pick your Hole Hash

Location: Wolf Trap area

Hares: Read My Lips, Bad Ditch, I Dream of Weenie & Yellow Submarine

OnOnOn: A bar, a place to drink other than a parking lot.

Virgin’s: Just Paul (married), Just Jen (single), Just Stephanie (single), and Just Dawn (single). Pay attention her boys, all the single virgins are women. Play nice.

Visitors: Slut Town USA (Philadelphia), Just Jen (MVH)

Beer Bitch: Just Jen

Beer Sampler: Duck Duck Bush

Analversaries: Two Lips in the Bush (169 runs), Pond Scrum (69 runs) & Winn Dick Me (25 runs)


Of late I've decided that the hash just like thin feminine looking transvestites can be deceptive. On that note, never underestimate the abilities of a pregnant hare. I approached this trail thinking, "ah this will be a walk around the block." Wrong. Read My Lips, Bad Ditch, I Dream of Weenie & Yellow Submarine found every tunnel in wolf trap while Sir Shaves A Lot found every pot smoking teenage hang out. Or maybe he was just looking for something flat and dry. Texas T & A later emphasized the moisture aspect of the trail by finding every tunnel's wet floor.


Obviously this was a tough trail full of surprises. Unfortunately, despite ample material and opportunity, Topher the Gopher Chauffeur aka A Salt My Ass didn't do anything impressively stupid. More than anything I have to question the intelligence of Just Jen, she willingly drove ASMA to the hash after he promised her his first born (psst....I think that ship has already sailed).



We had a drink-off between Mother May I and And How’s Her Bush to resolve an unsettled contest from the Hash O’Limpsicks. In the down-down competition Mother May I got it down but couldn’t keep it down while And How’s Her Bush couldn’t even finish the damn thing.


Seriously folks, this was a kick a$$ trail, next time I see that a hare is 8 months pregnant I will have two thoughts. 1. did I take my birth control pill this morning and 2. this trail is going to rock!!


Violations:


  • Jack-Off Lantern: Pissing on the hash marks during the FRB trail in the Hash O’Limpdicks.

  • Just Jen: For bringing A-Salt My Ass to the hash today

  • I Dream of Weenie: While on trail we came across a stash of empty O’Douls bottles in the woods behind their house.

  • Butt Brown Ale: Got drunk and shaved his head under the guise of childhood cancer research, when all he really wanted was the T-shirt.

  • Hokie No Pokie: Wearing Texas T & A’s clothes at circle.

  • Jack-Off Lantern: jealousy reared it's ugly head when JOL watched Winn Dick-Me roll up in her fab '89 toyota convertable and feared she would get all the guys.
  • Cheeze Wiz: Stood in line for sloppy thirds. Way to hold out!
  • Two Lips In The Bush and Double Header: sharing razors to shave their legs.
  • Just Paul: Joined the Army choir to meet chicks and was surprised when dudes asked him out.
  • Motor Mouth: Screamed with delight after running through a pile of leaves that that was the most action he's had all year.


Hash Shit:

Motor Mouth brought the Hash Shit after taking it on a whirlwind tour of the Texas Interhash. Nominations included:


  • Blows A Tranny: For mounting Knee Deep Pussy High a little too rough on Saturday night.

  • Bad Ditch: For taking I Dream of Weenie & Yellow Submarine’s horse to MVH3 on Saturday, allowing her to shit and piss in the circle, bringing her home and telling Yellow Submarine that his horse got him the MVH3 hashshit.

  • Motor Mouth: For bitching and moaning about having the hashshit again.


Your winner: Motor Mouth. 1 more week!


After our Bronze Medal showing at the Hash O’Limpdicks on Saturday, White House has taken a page out of the Eastern European’s training program. We are apparently so desperate for wankers who can actually finish a beer (And How’s Her Bush) and FRBs with solid control over their bladders (Jack-Off Lantern) that we have begun recruiting harriers and harriettes from local Elementary Schools.


Today we named Just Donald, the result of Big Bird Terd & Dances With Dildo’sJust Donald is a 10 year old from West Briar Elementary School. His favorite subject is social studies, he is the Corner Back for his Pee-Wee football team, and he has a crush on a girl named Jessica. experimentation with ecstasy and Wild Turkey.


Suggested names included Figure Four Leg Lock (Just Donald was wearing a wrestling T-shirt), Little Bird Terd and Child Protective Services. The winning name was inspired by Just Donald’s embarrassed retelling of his rejection by Jessica when he asked her to dance at the West Briar Spring Social because he had walked through dog poo on the way to the school that night.


Hence forth at the White House Hash and throughout the world of hashing Just Donald will be known as, Dances With Terds.


OnOut,


Double Header & Cock A Doodle Do Me