For those unable to be at this hash, we note that the hash ended on a very somber note, with Swing Low being dedicated to Trojan's daughter and her friend, Rachel Crites and Rachel Smith, who recently passed away. In lieu of flowers, the family would welcome donations sent to a local organization working on the front lines of dealing with crisis interventions and stabilization at:
Montgomery County Crisis Center
1301 Piccard Dr
Rockville, MD 20850
Attn: Jean Burgess
240-777-4533

Hash # 1111 February 4, 2007

McLean, Va,

Hares: And How’s Her Bush, French Toasted, Fox Twat, and Sexcalibur

The number of this hash made me think of an old puzzle. So I’ll take advantage of this position as stand-in scribe to throw a puzzle your way. You can send what you think are the right answers to harerazor@ewh3.com .

1

11

21

1211

111221

fill in the next line. (clue..it is not the number of this weeks hash, that would be pretty lame).

This week’s hash took place on the same day as the Super Bowl. To accommodate this special event we got started a little early, at 1pm. This might have caused problems in other kennels but WH4 has plenty of wankers who are plenty used to “cumming a bit early”. WH4 has some new faces on mismanagement this year. We all agree this is a good thing. But what has to be remembered is that there is always a learning curve. Yes, even mismanaging a club with no rules has potential for error. Take Sexcalibur and Bob Loblow for example. While performing their sign in duties (ha ha..I said dootie) they made the rookie mistake of confusing Hokie No Pokie for 2 Lips in the Bush. Those two guys have actually had their own girlfriends get confused before, so maybe we shouldn’t be too harsh. But Sexcalibur actually marked 2 Lips in the Bush down for the hash as Not Hokie. How did we all figure this out you ask? Well, all the braniac, masters of logic that showed up put 2 and 2 together and got confusion when 2 Lips was called out for being a long time no-seer despite being in Durango this weekend.

A temporary rant about car alarms before I mention the next stupid thing that happened. Has a car alarm ever stopped someone from stealing or breaking into a car? I’d say maybe, back in 1983 when they were first introduced, someone was deterred. But 3 months later every idiot in the country had one, and none of them knew how to use it. The result? A car alarm is set off by its owner every 23 minutes in the United States (totally true fact, in no way fabricated). If I saw a guy with a crowbar standing in front of a car with its alarm going off I’d probably just assume he locked himself out and I might even give him a hand breaking in. So why is any of this relevance? Because For Sale For Rent set off her own car alarm at the opening circle. How could this have possibly happened? Well, as she was strolling the parking lot she happened to look into the window of a car and noticed a beautiful ankle length winter coat. “I love those things she thought, and recently lost one just like it”. So she broke in, set off the alarm and then coyly realized it was her car and her jacket. Bravo.

The pack finally started to hash. After about 5’ we all knew something was wrong because Bad Dog was up in front actually yelling “OnOn” back to the pack. We made it to the beer check in one piece (Ha ha, I said “cock”). Since I arrived to the circle late, this was the first time I noticed that French Toasted was a hare. And that made absolutely no sense to me because we were only running for about 30’. And How’s Her Bush must know how to reign that guy in. As the runners were getting ready to take off from the beer check we noticed Bad Dog cumming into the beer check in standard fashion. Only this time, as he was more than happy to point out, he was not in last place. Hermaphrodites on Unicycles was plodding along behind him. Man, beaten by Bad Dog, I didn’t think that was possible.

The circle got underway by stand in RA Titly Winks, who was doing her best Al Pacino from The Godfather part III in saying, “I keep trying to get out and they keep pulling me back in”. Apparently it’s a old WH4 tradition to become RA or GM or any other MM position and then disappear for a while. If so, than kudos, mission accomplished because I don’t think there were three of them there. We had a couple of guy virgins who were serenaded by the vagina gallery with two very funny super bowl references, one involving double covering his Tight End and the other virgin got his own private halftime show. Couldn’t be much worse than seeing freaky 5’1’’ prince strutting around on stage. But for once I’m glad to see that someone has become a born again Christian. I don’t need my sexuality brought into question by watching that guy dance around provocatively in tights anymore. As always, there were plenty of violations. FSFR might be leaving us to join up w/ the band jamiroquai (see photo).

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Fox Twat was afraid that since this is WH4, and we put photos on the web, she should’ve remembered her makeup. But being so close to the holiday party, she also forgot her leather teddy and bull whip. Put it Out loves to sing Karaoke. But he took his passion to a new level when he snuck away and started to sing “Love In The Elevator” by Aerosmith while changing into his dry clothes in an actual elevator. Lets just hope they really were dry clothes, I don’t want to know what he was doing in there. Read my Lips managed to show off some photos on her camera to stop the security guard form interrupting our circle. I say, “show one-show all”, but only that keystone cop got to see anything. Seriously, that guy was old. Wookin Pa Nub, looking every bit of a homeless garden gnome.

was helping to beautify the local McLean neighborhood by standing in peoples yards. After he was shot at he realized the the McMansions in Mclean do not allow such rubbish. They also don’t like garden gnomes. He was holding onto the Hash Shit for like a million reasons, but gave it up to T and Ehh..who is leaving us for our copy cat, socialist neighbors to the north, and this is her last chance to both have the hash shit and get medical attention without a six month wait. I didn’t go to the bar because there was a little game on TV that I wanted to see. But I’m sure it was a good time

Pardon the interruption, but Cock-a-doodle do me will return next week.