1112 February 12, 2007

HASH TRASH

WH4 #1112

Start: Somewhere in Arlington

Hares: T&Eh, Cheez Whiz, Tit Ka Boob, Triass A Thong

Visitor: Yankee My Wankee/Dr. Boner tried to claim that he was a visitor, but gave himself away when he said his home hash was WH4. Then, he tried to save himself by giving the names of random other hashes near where he claims he lives now.

Virgins: Just Amy made her self and Just Andrea cum and Chocolate Covered Cherry made Just Kaija cum

It was cold. I found myself somewhere far from a metro in Virginia. I don’t like to be that far out. It scares me. My co-visiting-scribe, Areola Borealis, assured me that it would be ok. I was still a little scared. As we got out of the car, I smelled the most wonderful smell in the world. To quote Duck, Duck Bush, it smelled like “schnapps infused hot chocolate”. When I asked about it, I was told that Turbo Twat had ruined the hash by spilling the entire jug of the yummy shots for the trail. I almost cried. It smelled so good.

The walkers’ trial was pleasant enough until we came across all of the hills. I had to be pushed up one because it was so freakin’ long. I felt really bad for the runners. The beer check was in a lovely neighborhood just along the side of the road. You can only do this kind of beer check at a Sunday hash in the suburbs. But it was really nice. Some of the neighbors even came up to talk to us and didn’t call the police! We left the beer check ready for the trek back to the end circle. The thought of schnapps infused hot chocolate running through all of our heads because we were convinced that there would be none. Then, Triass-A-Thong stopped the walkers for the shot check. I thought she was kidding and trying to be mean. But, I was then told that Oregon Grinder saved the hash by going out and getting more supplies to mix some more schnapps infused hot chocolate. YUMMY!!!!!

This is where things begin to get fuzzy for me. I was a little inebriated when we started circle, and I certainly was drunk by the time circle was over. But, thankfully, Areola Borealis kept some notes.

Long time no seers: Prison Prom Queen, Pearly Necklace, Kiel Bastard, Dildo Shaggins, and some others.

Analversaries:

100 Triass A Thong

200 Snatch Shot

Birthdays:

Mr. Magoo and Kiel Bastard

Violations:

Turbo Twat ruined the hash.

Dildo Shaggins for eating wings off of a car hood before the hash

A full box of condoms were found in T&Eh’s house. She was violated for not using them before leaving for her homeland of Canadia. Although, she tried to save herself by offering herself up after being called out.

Someone violated all of the wankers that went to Durango. Was there not enough beer in Durango that you have to try to get more at the WH4 circle?

Poodle Fucked for removing part of his eye - there is more to this story but Areola Borealis was busy drinking and forgot to write down the rest of the violation

Richie Cum in Hand was wearing a pseudo 7-11 shirt but up close it said 69. This made your co-scribes wonder, is that where he gets his big gulps?

Prison Prom Queen wins the "most in need of a personal trimmer" award for growing pubes on the outside of the clothing. (Editor’s note, I did not witness this but was told it was true and I’m totally grossed out by this violation.)

Areola Borealis was violated for using the Canadian term, “Toque”. I didn’t know what a toque was, but she kept talking about putting in on a head (who said head?). I began to think that it was some weird sexually deviant thing that she and Purple Peter Eater did. But, then she informed that a toque is a hat. What? (Editor’s note: I looked up the word in the dictionary because I didn’t know how to spell it. A Toque is defined as “a brimless and close-fitting hat for women, in any of several shapes” or “a velvet hat with a narrow, sometimes turned-up brim, a full crown, and usually a plume, worn by men and women esp. in 16th-century France”.)

Blank Shot up the Ass and True Tail were so preoccupied having sex on the metro that they missed their stop and ended up at Franconia-Springfield. The metro was closing and they had to take a $69 cab ride home. Since money was exchanged for sex, this can be defined as prostitution. Of course, your lovely co-scribes wanted to know who was the hooker. In this case, Blank Shot up the Ass didn’t hesitate in identifying himself as the prostitute in this relationship.

Hash Shit

I love the hash shit process. I love hearing hashers tell stories about stupid stuff everyone did every week. I love voting for the best one. In this case, there was no need for story telling or voting. There was NO CONTEST that Turbo Twat earned the hash shit for serious alcohol abuse and the ruining of the hash.

On a very sad note, our lovely harriette, T&Eh is leaving us to move back to her homeland of Canadia. Before she sang her final Swing Low, she made a lovely and touching going away speech, saying a lot of nice things about meeting great friends and having fun times over the last five years in the hash. Then she quoted Golden Showers, saying, “You guys make reality what it is.” Awww….You’ll be missed, you crazy Canadian!

And that’s all that Areola Borealis and I could remember…

On on,

Lil Red Ride Me Good