1070 - June 5, 2006

Feminine Hygiene Hash

Hares: Summer's Eve, Senor Doucheberg, Closet Slut, Small Wonder
Start: Ballston Metro
OnOnOn: El Ranchero
Virgins: Just Kristen, Just Morgan
Visitors:
Beer Bitch: Just Elspeth

[pictures]

Welcome to the 37th annual Feminine Hygiene Hash! For as long as women have been douching, our hash has been celebrating by setting out on a trail in search of the mythical Golden Douche. That's right, every year, our poor hares sit down and deconstruct a half-dozen douches and re-fill them with a more appropriate fluid.

Hokie No Pokie, tonight playing the role of GM, RA, and harerazor, started the opening circle. Even with presence of an actual circle marked on the ground, the pack could not come to terms with the expression "Circle up." The hares explained the concept of the Feminine Hygiene Hash and the Hunt for the Golden Douche. At points along trail, you will find checks marked with a yellow 'G'. What do we do at the G-Spot boys? Nothing, because it doesn't exist and we'll never find it. The hares say otherwise, but they're just a couple of douches so what do they know?

The pack sets out on a run around Ballston, but the trail rapidly begins to have that not-so-fresh feeling. Either this was a Golden Douche hash in previous years or I'm clairvoyant. We find our way to Casa De Doucheberg or Haus von Doucheberg (I'm never sure if his name is Spanish or German). It's a nice night to be standing around drinking beer and so we do. Just Elspeth is anointed Beer Bitch and there is much rejoicing.

The live hares take off and the pack eventually departs and soon finds itself on the Bluemont Juncton Trail. There's a check and a few wankers head north, back toward Wilson Blvd. The rest of the pack proceeds along the trail. The checking wankers return only to see the lead hare dash across the end of the street at Wilson Blvd. After him, boys! We're nearly there. The shortcutters make it in to El Ranchero with the hares and the rest of the pack follows some time later.

Hokie No Pokie eventually circles everyone up and brings in the hares. They demonstrate proper down-down technique to our two virgins, Just Kristen and Just Morgan. Good work to Her She Kisses for bringing fixings for her own threesome. There might have been visitors, but I don't remember.

There were a few violations. Pulls It Out was responsible for most of them. What do you expect after he has been away so long. First he spilled a full beer, then he ran, sorry, WALKED, into a street sign with his head and didn't notice. KY Belly got violated for complaining to a member of WH4 mismanagement about an imagined offense by EWH3 mismanagement and not knowing the difference.

There were a ton of long time no seers at our first normal, Monday evening hash of the summer. Welcome back, losers. Finally, all the douchers came out to be recognized and the rest of the pack took note of who was clean and who was not.