1066 - May 7, 2006

Hares: Are You In?, It's Buttfucking Time!, Read My Lips, & Thong Butt Not Forgotten
Start: Shirlington, Arlington VA
OnOnOn: Bungalow Billiards
Beer Bitch: Just Linda, now known as Slurpie
Brew Crew: Takes It up the Eh & Knee Deep Pussy High

It was a beautiful sunny day for a trail, and the hares were wearing their safety yellow vests and reminding everyone to carry their flashlights. Hmmmmmm, I wonder what this could mean about the upcoming trail.....

At the start, a number of Long Time No See-ers were out and about: Spinal Tap, Three Ring Cervix, Short Bus Bitch, Blow Job, and Bend Over Rover. The pack took off and we completed a full circle before the pack realized it was a circle jerk and a BT. The trail veered off the pavement and into a stream bed before moving into a tunnel. The tunnel was long and hard, and spooged black goo on a few hashers. Blows a Tranny was running like he sat on a pipe after he left the tunnel. Apparently it was good for both of them.

The beer check was in an empty parking lot for a company called Sure Shot Productions. I was very excited that the business was named after me, but they had a typo in the sign. The pack filtered in. Shelacking the Bishop and Duck Job were seen explaining how to drink out of a mug to Just Sierra. She was more fascinated by the puddles on the ground from turning the mug upside down. Big Bang and Can't F*ck Dust were relaxing on the hill and recovering from the tunnel. The pack went on out after the beer stop, and Short Bus was leading the Milf crew of $50 Bitch and Vominatrix over the hill with their strollers as Cheese Wizz and I tagged along.

Violations:

• Butt Brown Ale
peed in a truck at the Beer Check
• Boner
carried Thong Butt Not Forgotten's dog while running trail because the dog was too slow. Boner had left the circle, so Turtle Dick volunteered to be the Stunt Boner and drink for him.

• S'Not
and All Lickie No Dickie were wearing the same shorts, but S'Not had his on backwards. Lickie also had bloody socks- proving that wearing shoes is a good idea at a hash.

• Double Header
claimed she was "producing man-sweat" from the high humidity and taxing trail

• Hokie
had tunnel spooge on his head- the tunnel really liked him- or maybe it was his Pink Floyd pants.

• Brew Crew left all the mugs at the beer check and had to go back to get them. All Lickie
No Dickie was stunt brew crew and drank for them.
• Jack Off Lantern
liked the tunnel so much he went back and r*n it a second time.

• Follow the Bleeder had birdsh*t on his head