It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon with perfect weather and a lot of hashers. Little did we know what was in store. In fact, this trail was truly a learning experience for future hares. Tit-ly Winks and Hokie No Pokie split the duties of the GM who, as usual, was not in attendence. After a rousing version of Father Abraham led by the hares the pack was off across the Wakefield parking lot.

There was confusion at the first few checks for reasons I'll get to in a minute. In fact, one stubborn group of hashers kept right on going the "wrong direction" after a check. Turns out the beginning of trail and the end of trail overlapped. In general this is a really bad idea and the hares decided to make it even worse by laying both parts of the trail at once. So most of the pack ran the "correct" direction as told by a very insistent Motor Mouth while a few hashers ran the second half of trail because they hit a true trail just a few feet from that other check.

After this very poorly marked section, the next section of trail was great. We ran up a real big hill and into the woods and onto the single track biking trails that draws people to Wakefield park. We ran in and out of trails before heading basically back to the start. We continued on and hit some power lines. This is when it was good not to be an FRB. There was a big long hill up the power lines with a back check to the bottom of the hill and into our first tunnel of the day.

The tunnel was much nicer than any of the ones that Hokie and PIO picked out for us a few weeks ago and everyone made it through with reasonably dry shoes. We ran down a road and into an apartment complex and after a brief bit of confusion at a few checks we took off for the woods again. On the way around the back corner of the apartment building we even passed a guy getting his hair cut at which some hasher was heard to exclaim "Nice flowbee." The surprised barber got to watch the pack run down the hill in a giant pile of leaves and into a new stream bed. The stream led us back into a new tunnel under 495 and back into park land. The tunnels this time had lots of freezing cold water and it was short enough that Stop the Erection had to duck. We ran near the stream for a while and we received a demonstration of why Moist Sushi got her name as she splashed people while running through the water.

The pack finally found SSBB at the top of a hill in a residential neighborhood. Why the hares didn't pick any of the other great spots that we passed for a beer check was beyond me. Hands on Dick apparently took a leak right near the beer check and was spotted by some of the neighbors. They called the cops and we hurriedly finished up the beer check. Just Jen was named the beer bitch and we skipped singing the usual song to get out of there.

On the way out a number of hashers ran into people still stumbling off of the first part of trail. Some of them were looking for the walkers trail and your scribe helpfully sent them the wrong way. Oops, sorry about that guys. I guess I should have drank less beer.

Trail was okay for a couple of hundred yards and then Motor Mouth had to start yelling at the runners again to keep them on trail. Hares, if you have to yell to keep them on trail you need better marks. If your trail comes really near itself you need to use lots and lots of true trail marks to keep the pack on the right trail. Also don't pick a shade of paint that looks like patches of sunlight on the ground.

About half the pack ran off on the next section of trail and missed the shot check. A few of us found it with Motor Mouth telling us where to go the whole time. He is well named. After the shot check we ran some more of the single track trails and then headed back to run along the creek. We popped out of the woods near the start of the trail and stumbled onto the markings from the beginning of trail. This was as confusing as the first time we ran through it. Once the pack figured this out we ran across Braddock Rd and into the shopping center. We thought we were done. Oh, wait trail goes all the way along the backside of the shopping center. That meant that on a "A-A'" trail we were a half mile or more from our cars. Why we didn't just start where we ended I'll never know.

After a long wait to let all of the confused wankers stumble in, circle was started. The hares drank multiple times, virgins, and visitors were recognized and then we had a ton of violations.

Violations: Multiple violations for the hares were put out, but they were drinking water. Including drinking water out of Gimme A Dick's new shoes. Put It Out was at the MVH3 AGM and did a half marathon. Just Jen our lovely beer bitch had a birthday. Motor Mouth couldn't stop telling the pack which way to go at the beginning (read about trail to find out why). Obeastiologist, Obeseologist, Obeseologis, or Dipstick tried flying over a few tree roots but forgot his cape and crashed. Road Kill guided Evil Jesus around one of the tunnels to try to keep his feet dry. They went over a road, through a sea of posion ivy, under barbed wire, and through the incredible shrinking tunnel before getting their feet wet anyway. They both got a down-down. RUN? while waiting for a car shuttle back to the start remarked, "Whoever is cumming, I'm sitting on their lap." RUN? also mistook someone who looked like Tit-ly Winks grandmother for I Dream of Weenie. RUN? blamed the bright sun. Just John was violated for mistaking BN for a bad trail. Brew Crew was violated for beer pouring out of the van at the beer check. All Hands on Dick took a leak at the beer check right in front of some neighbors and for some reason the neighbors got pissed off and called the cops. Huh, maybe you shouldn't do that. Blows a Tranny and Evil Jesus were called out for racing a pack of deer. All Lickie No Dickie and the future Mrs. Lickie were called out for sex on trail and other various sex violations. Lickie claimed that he hasn't seen her in 2 years so he's allowed.

Long Time No Seers: There were a lot of them. You'd think it was a nice day or something. We had Cock Smoker and the Bandit, Just Grandma, Gimme a Dick!, GBOF, Bite Me Elmo, RAS, All Lickie No Dickie, the future Mrs. Lickie and a lot of other people.

There was no hash shit as usual and no naming for which your scribe was grateful. Swing Low was sung and there was much rejoicing.