1060 - March 26, 2006

Hares: Are You In?, Read My Lips, Backdoor Buckaroo, Her She Kisses
Start: Dolly Madison Public Library; McLean, VA
OnOnOn: "Pub"
Virgins: Just Trevor, Just Whitney, Just Angie, Just Laura
Visitors: None today.
Beer Bitch: Just William

"It's official. This is a real hash. I'm injured and bleeding." -- Hokie No Pokie

It's been a while since we've lowered the property values in McLean and today was not a good day to own real estate in the area. We started in the front parking lot of the Dolly Madison Public Library in plain sight of the entire community. Before we even got started, Read My Lips had commented that the neighbors were so friendly as to offer her a ride despite her disheveled appearance after prelaying the trail.

Pond Scrum, who is still not drinking despite our best efforts, showed off his new dog Just Sherman. Sherman is currently about 3 pounds and will max out at about 20. He's about as big as one of Just Murphy's shits but acts like he can take her. While we were distracted singing Father Abraham, Just Sherman left us a little present to step in with our left or right foot.

A pony was led through the parking lot and with that we knew it was time for us to get moving. We meandered through some nice public parks, pissed off a few parents, sloshed through some tunnels and found a shot check in the middle of a tunnel. We went staggering out of there and wound up finding a true trail mark back to the start, skipping the beer check. Thankfully the hares were around to help us get back on track and get back onto the real trail.

A lot of people were zenning and missed the second shot check, but we all found the nasty tunnel that the hares had apparently spent some time cleaning out with a trowel and a garden hoe earlier in the day. Soon after that we found the beer check and began drinking in what appeared to be a very large vagina. It was shaped like one, had a hole in the middle and was surrounded by bushes. And it took quite a bit of beer for the male hashers to get their faces close to it.

After drinking a few beers, it was time for us to pull out early and jet. Strange Ground Chuck was clearly stunned by being so close to a vagina that he ran full throttle into a tree. Apparently MENSA doesn't test for that.

After sloshing through a few more creeks we came back onto the trail we had found earlier and we were in. With most of mismanagement up in New York City, WoWo ran the circle, we mentioned the few violations from above, sang Swing Low and left McLean, McDirty and McDrunk.