Trail news you can abuse.
Hash #1195 -- Monday, June 30, 2008, 6:30pm -- The Turrets Syndrome Hash
This is NOT a MotorMouth Original,
I admit to plagerizing the ENTIRE THING.
This is not a reflection of the quality of Seman trails.
The hare razor legally denies all accountability for this week's trail.
This includes but is not limited to: The pack getting lost, damaged, or prostituted by pimps.
All shoe sucking mud, skin tearing thorns, poison ivy, poison oak, poisonous snakes,
circus midgets, water hazards, mine fields, paper cuts, private property, packs of wolves,
bad beer checks, Cliffs of Insanity, mythical creatures, tourists and their affiliated children,
officers of the law, grumpy senior citizens, drunk fraternity boys, 1.21 gigawatts of electricity,
Robin Williams, and jello shots are the assumed responsibility of the hares for said trail.
The hare razor reserves the right to deny any and all accountability and is not limited to
claiming to never have known the offending hares.
Please seek proper legal representation before attempting to run this trail.
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Hash #1195 -- Monday, June 30, 2008, 6:30pm - The Turrets Syndrome Hash
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/neighborhoods/guide/show/turrets-syndrome Hares: Semen on the Pew, Tasters Choice, Second Cumming, Meat Lover
Cost: $5 Start: New York Ave Metro (Red Line), Florida Ave exit, 2nd and N St, NE
D-erections:
From Virginia: Take I-395 North till it ends at New York Ave. Turn right onto New York Ave and stay in the right lane. Just after you cross over North Capitol St, take a right onto N St, NE. The New York Ave Metro Station is straight ahead. Look for parking on 1st St NE across from Ibiza, or on 3rd St, NE (other side of train tracks).
From Maryland: Take New York Ave into the City. Take a right onto Florida Ave, and then your first left onto 1st St, NE. Cross New York Ave and look for parking on 1st St NE across from Ibiza, or on 3rd St, NE (other side of train tracks).
Metro: New York Ave/Flordia Ave/Gallaudet Metro Station (Red Line) Florida Ave exit, 2nd and N St, NE
Misc: A to A' trail, Turkey-Eagle split (no dogs on Eagle trail), urban shiggy, walker trail is stroller-friendly.
OnOnOn: Pap and Petey's
http://papandpeteys.com/ 421 H St, NE
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 546-JAZZ
Specials: $2 cans of Schlitz, 2 hot dogs w/chips - $3.00
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On "If you don't like my rants, go listen to Dual Airbags" On
Hash #1194 -- Monday, June 23, 2008, 6:30pm – The Mystery Hares Celebrate Mellow's Bday Hash
I'm tired!
My legs are sore.
They are cut up,
I probably have PI.
Ask Slurpee about the ticks
Tour duh Hash is meant as a whirlwind tour of the DC Hashing community.
So what have we learned on our travels so far?
We started with Mount Vernon
who, when they list 3pm as a start time, they don't actually mean 3:45 like White house!
they had 10 beers and 5 waters at their beverage check (there were 80+ people on the runners trail)
But they ended in Wanks with Wolves backyard with a BBQ, and wine (Drip Dry says thank you) and misc alcohol for shots.
OTH also appears to know how tell time (so I missed the start)
they have these "little people" that run with them
they look a lot like some of the hashers, but half the size (and they don't drink beer)
White House decided to demonstrate "urban shiggy"
which is really funny when the OTH guys don't know how to zen around the FRB traps
"Best Beer Check Ever" the hares said - actually it did kick ass - on the top parking deck overlooking Nationals Park
ofcourse, half the pack was turned away by the police, and half of the people on the roof didn't get beer because we were worried about the cops, so maybe not "best"
SH*T decided to up their shiggy level to true TDH levels
more water, and briars, and SWIMMING then any trail so far.
(not sure if that is a compliment or not)
Despite what you might have heard,
the SH*T police escort still didn't compare to EWH3's light & sound show from SE DC's Finest!
Tonight is Great Falls
And for all of you paying attention at home
"Forever more and throughout the world of hashing - except Great Falls, F* them"
is BECAUSE Great Falls doesn't acknowledge hash names given by outside hashes
you need to run 100 hashes with them to get named
(And How's Her Bush was so PROUD when they allowed him into their cult)
They are running in Ashburn tonight.
Direction are, drive out to West Bumfuck and turn right.
EWH3 will show us how a bunch of PhD's with too much energy get really dumb and lazy and can't solve a check when more then 100 of them are together.
There might be a full moon, some Baltimore-Annapolis Hashing and some DCH4 hashing coming up (not to be confused with DCH3 - you need a penis to run with them - LITERALLY)
I hope everyone enjoyed this stroll down Tour Duh Hash Memory Lane
We now return you to your rant,
already in progress ...
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This was gonna be a NICE FRIENDLY trail news.
Until I found out that we are BANNED from Finn MacCool's after Monday's OnOnOn.
Are you serious???
Sex in the bathroom wasn't enough at the holiday party?
We got another chance and a few people ruin it for the entire hash!
(Assume that to mean all DC area hashes, not just White House)
People felt the need to bring in their own beer?
Try to walk out of the bar with beer?
and server themselves from the tap?
People!
Seriously!
This could be the most hash friendly bar in DC and you are not gonna get away with this stuff.
These aren't special rules,
they are true in every bar in the DC Area.
(you're not hashing in Kansas anymore Dorothy!)
Every bar we lose (Finn, Jackie Lee, Royal Lee) is one less bar that the hash can find that will serve us.
This is EVERYONE'S RESPONSIBILITY.
If you see it happening,
stop it before we all have to pay!
***end of rant***
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The next White House Hash will signify the return to normalcy
(if you can call it that)
And we are doing that by not telling you who is haring!
Hares will pre-lay
Run with the pack - incognito
Sweep
and, if we are lucky, identify themselves at the end circle.
Even I am not really sure who will be laying the flour.
Come out and see if this is a cluster,
or a fun way to keep the pack guessing.
Plus,
if you've already done 9 days of TDH,
what's one more???
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Sign up for a chance at a FREE REGO for the The White House Camping Trip
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DC Red Dress Run, October 11th
Tickets are going FAST, FAST, FAST!
Don't wait until the price goes up again!
Hash #1194 -- Monday, June 23, 2008, 6:30pm – The Mystery Hares Celebrate Mellow's Bday Hash
Hares: You Get To Guess!
Brew Crew: Hot Lunch & The Nub-inator
Cost: $5
Start: Parking Structure over I-66 next to Washington-Lee H.S. between Quincy & Stafford
D-erections:
East on I-66, exit at Fairfax Dr/Glebe Rd. Go straight until you reach Stafford St. by the Metro/Hilton and the IHOP. Left
on Stafford, Go 4 blocks and turn right onto 15th St. Go 1/12 blocks and turn right into Parking structure. Park & hash.
Or west on I-66, exit at Glebe Rd. Turn right on Glebe. Go one block to 15th Street. Turn right onto 15th Street. Go 5+ blocks and turn
right into Parking Structure. Park & hash.
Or go west on Lee Hwy to Quincy Street which is where the Toyota and Honda dealers are. Turn left onto Quincy and go to 15th Street. Turn right and go
1/2 block and turn left into Parking structure. Park & hash.
Or go west on Washington Blvd. to Quincy Street. Turn right onto Quincy and cross I-66. Turn left onto 15th St. and go 1/2 block and
turn left into Parking structure. Park & hash.
Metro: Ballston Metro - Exit Metro and go straight ahead to Stafford at IHOP. Left on Stafford, go 4 blocks and turn right into parking lot driveway just past new W & L H.S or go over bridge and turn right at 15th St. Go 1/12 blocks and turn right into Parking structure and hash
Misc: A to A' trail, PI is always a factor, no dogs are wimpy, walker trail is stroller-friendly, it's Mellows Bday!
OnOnOn: Buffalo D's Sports Bar and Grill, 4221 N Fairfax D 703 465 8888 www.buffads.com
Specials: TBD
Hash #1193 -- June 16, 2008, 6:30pm -- Tour Duh Hash Leg #3
Not a rant,
just something that makes you go ...
"Thank GOD I live in DC"
Tour Duh Hash
Most cities in the world have a hash.
Some even run more then once a month.
DC is one of the few places that has a DAILY hash
Not only that, but MULTIPLE OPTIONS for trails on some days for all you "Bad Dog" Types.
Its that time of year again to prove your metal!
The 2nd Anal "Tour Duh Hash"
9 hashes in 9 days.
Will you complete every leg this year?
Can your legs & liver take it?
Those who were crazy/bored/lonely enough to do it all last year,
we salute (laugh at) you
3rd Base Cooch
Flaming Unit Jr
Cocktoberfest
Bob Loblaw
Saskatchewsnatch
Nasty Gash
MotorMouth
And Hows Her Bush
Spinal Tap
Hasher Humper
Assault My Ass
Running Bare
Daffy Fuck
The schedule for this year is
| Date | Day | Kennel | $$ | Time | Location | Web Site |
| 6/14 | Sat | Mount Vernon | $5 | 10:00 AM | Baileys Crossroads | website |
| 6/15 | Sun | Over The Hump | $5 | 2:00 PM | Woodbridge | website |
| 6/16 | Mon | White House | $5 | 6:30 PM | Eastern Market | website |
| 6/17 | Tue | S.H.I.T | $5 | 6:30 PM | Fairfax | website |
| 6/18 | Wed | Great Falls | $8 | 7:00 PM | Great Falls | website |
| 6/19 | Thu | Everyday Is Wednesday | $5 | 6:45 PM | Pentagon City | website |
| 6/20 | Fri | Full mOOn | $15 | 6:35 PM | Arlington, Lee Hwy/Glebe Rd | website |
| 6/21 | Sat | DC Harriettes & Harriers | $6 | 3:00 PM | Shady Grove Metro, Derwoood MD | website |
| 6/22 | Sun | Baltimore/Annapolis | $5 | 3:00 PM | Greenbelt | website |
What songs to other hashes sing?
What traditions do they have ("What's an FRB Flag?", "What do you mean I don't have a hash name until 100 runs?")
Come out and find out!
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Sign up for the Camping Trip!!!
www.whitehousehash.com
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Red Dress Run Registration is OPEN
Tickets are $55 until the next 200 people sign up.
The date is October 11th, 2008
Details @ www.dchashing.com/dcreddress
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Hash #1193 -- June 16, 2008, 6:30pm – Tour Duh Hash Leg #3
Hares: Tooth Fairy, Slurpee, Late Nite Drive Thru, Ass Spelunker
Cost: $5
Start: Eastern Market Metro
D-erections: Take Metro!!!! gas is too expensive and parking is tight
Metro: Eastern Market Metro, go up escalators and look for hashers
Driving: way too many options to list, however if you must drive, google map the address for Eastern Market Metro which is 701 Pennsylvania Avenue, SE, Washington, DC 20003.
Misc: A to A' trail, No PI, Walkers trail is Dog Friendly, Best beer check of the year! Hare Birthday celebration. (HareRaisor's note: This means they will have no recolection of the bar, so take lots of pictures to remind them)
OnOnOn: Finn MacCools, 713 8th St SE Washington, DC 20003, http://www.finnmaccoolsdc.com/
Specials: Half priced burgers, happy hour appetizer prices, $3 pints of Yuengling, Leinenkugel's
Sunset Wheat and Miller Lite, double-sized mixed drinks for single-sized price.
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Upcoming Trails
| Mon, June 23, 6:30 PM | An entire TEAM of Mystery Hares | Balston | | |
| Mon, June 30, 6:30 PM | Semen on the Pew, Second Cumming, Taster's Choice, et.al. | New York Ave Metro | | |
| Mon, July 7, 6:30 PM | NoMo Memorial Hash |
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On I've Created a Monster On
"No Package too small"
;-)
Hash #1192 -- June 9, 2008, 6:30pm -- Bye Bye "Have Dick Will Travel"
A message to the State of Virginia.
"If you don't like us, We'll take our business elsewhere"
When 100-150 adults run around on public land,
don't litter,
check out neighborhoods to potentially buy our next home,
prevent crimes by interupting illegal activities,
buy gas,
and spend between $2k-$4K at a bar that is usually dead,
this is GOOD for the economy.
If the good leaders of Alexandria don't realize that, then we will find somewhere that will.
Someone let their constituencies know.
Where could we go that we can feel welcome?
Ask Mary & Barry.
We found a neighborhood in the District last week where the cops protected us from the locals,
where they were making more noise with their sirens then we were
and where the bar brought in "additional entertainment" to make it a memorable evening.
If you don't know what I'm talking about,
read last week's EWH3 trash.
Virginia WH4 trails will be kept to a minimum this summer.
Its not fun getting busted before we even start our run.
Sign up to hare in the GHETTO,
they know how to treat us WELL.
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Sign up for the Camping Trip!!!
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Red Dress Run Registration is OPEN
Tickets are $55 until the next 200 people sign up.
The date is October 11th, 2008
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Hash #1192 -- June 9, 2008, 6:30pm -- the Adieu to HaveDickWillTravel Hash or the Apparently He Found A Dick, Cuz He's Traveling Hash
Hares: Oregon Grinder, Kielbastard, Bad Ditch & "Special Guest of Dishonor" Hare
Cost: $5
Start: Virginia Highlands Park (1600 S Hayes Street)
D-erections: Take Metro!!!! gas is too expensive and parking is tight
Metro: Pentagon City Metro (Blue Line) - walk south (away from the Pentagon) approx. 4blks
Driving: way too many options to list...however if you must drive...
in my Metro Washington ADC map book - map 15, grid F8
Google Maps link http://maps.google.com/maps?daddr=1600+S+Hayes+St,+Arlington,+VA+22202&geocode=&dirflg=&saddr=pentagon+city+metro&f=d&hl=en&sll=38.86083,-77.058213&sspn=0.004987,0.011716&ie=UTF8&ll=38.860997,-77.059511&spn=0.004987,0.011716&t=h&z=17
Misc: A to A' trail, PI potential does exist, both trails are dog friendly
OnOnOn: Sine'
Specials: 1/2 price burgers (meat, trukey & veggie), still working on beverage deal(s)
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On to not get flooded out On
What Can Brown Do For You