Announcements
The beginning of the MotorMouth Regime ...
Hash #1186 -- May 4, 2008 -- The Cuatro de Mayo Hash
THE RETURN OF THE RANT
You all have had it easy lately.
Last week I introduced MisManagement, and the week before you got a joke.
You've gotten SOFT
(don't blame me, blame Tila Teqilia)
We now return to our ranting, already in progress ...
A hares job is to lay a trail,
and to sweep it to make sure no one DIES.
It is NOT the hares job to stand on every check and tell the pack which way to go because no one wants to spread out.
I do NOT want White House to turn out like EWH3.
If you are running, and you aren't on flour don't yell
"what a shitty trail the hares laid"
I can't be the only person on trail that yells "OnOn" or "Checking" or "I'm Freakin Zenning, follow me at your own risk"
if you are on trail, YELL
if you aren't on trail, don't keep following the person in front of you and hoping they know what they are doing.
If you are new to the hash and don't know how to read trail marks, just ASK.
This is not a running club
if you just want to follow the person in front of you, join Potomac Runners.
If you want to find trail,
then get to a check and explore your inner hasher
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WHITE HOUSE CAMPING TRIP
Rego's coming SOON
Save the Date: July 25-27, 2008
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Hash #1186 May 4, 2008 at 3pm. The Cuatro de Mayo Hash
Hares: Cock A Doodle Do Me, RU469, A Salt My Ass and his date
Brew Crew: Turbo Twat and Stop The Erection
Cost: $5
Start: Near the 7-Eleven
824 Baltimore Rd, Rockville, MD 20851
Driving:
From VA:
495N to I-270N
Take exit 4A for Montrose Rd E. Keep left at the fork, follow signs
for Tower Oaks Blvd. Turn left at Tower Oaks Blvd. Turn right at
Wootton Pkwy. Continue on 1st St. Turn right at Baltimore Rd. Turn
Left into the first shopping center.
From MD:
Follow the above directions start from 270.
Misc:
BRING A DRY BAG!!!!!!!!! BRING A DRY BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING A DRY
BAG!!!!!!!!!!! AND PI BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PI BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!! Not stroller friendly.
OnOnOn:
Jonathan's sports pub
820 Baltimore Rd
Rockville, MD 20851
(301) 294-8010
Specials:
TBA
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Upcoming Trails:
O.B. & Titly Shirlington
Semen on the Pew Manor Park
Knee Dep & Blah Blah Blah Alexandria
The DC RoadWhores will be representing White House and the other DC Area Hashes @ Stinko de Mayo this weekend at Harrisburg,
Hersey. Hope that we all make it back with out dignity intact - WHO AM I KIDDING?
OnOn
MotorMouth
Hash #1185 -- April 27, 2008 -- the "What have you done for me lately" Hash
JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON!
this week's rant is complements of "Just Kim's" hashing uncle from Tuscan
*yeah you need hashspace to read his rant, but you'll get the GIST of it here if you don't*
Hi,
I'm MotorMouth,
I'm your Hareraisor.
Every week I get to write you my random thoughts in an attempt to get a chuckle out of you and get you to come out to our hash.
But I can't do this alone.
I want to Personally Recognize all the people that make your hash WORK every week.
White house should be proud of itself,
its the BIGGEST hash group on hash space (Single and Horny is NOT a real hash)
why is it so big???
Because of our GFM's (Grand Feminine Masters) Dildo Shaggins and Knee Deep
Because of our RAA's (Religious Advisors of Attentiveness) Dairy Queen and Cocky
Because of the Gospel according to Gay Guy Counter
Because of our own Ansel Adams' Mount My Rear and Peace of Chum
Because of our own Bono's Blah Blah Blah and Private Snowball
Because of our own Alan Greenspan Thong Butt Not Forgotten
Because of our own Al Gore (creator of the Internet) Gay Rod
Because of our own IRS (Internal Recrimination Service) Wolly & Tooth Ache
Because of our own Bob Barkers Shamrock & Underground Railroad
Because of our own Mrs. Butterworth (that could be a good hash name "butt her worth") One Time At Hand Camp
Because of our own Jenna Jamisons (fluffers) Tooth Fairy, and Jack Off Lantern
and thank you to Mr. Milwaukee, Snap Crackle Poop
and all his minions
Wookin pa nub - Thank you
Blows a Tranny - Thank you
Runs with Bulls - Thank you
Dyke Tyson - Thank you
A Salt My Ass - Thank you
Hungry Hungry Homo - Thank you
Louisville Sucker - Thank you
Mellow Foreskin Cheese - Thank you
Easy Like Sunday Morning - Thank you
Purple Peter Eater - Thank you
Stop the Erection - Thank you
Turbo Twat - Thank you
Takes it up the Eh - May he rest in Canada, EH
Hot Lunch - Thank you
Ru-469 - Thank you
Shamrock - Thank you
Small Wonder - Thank you
Marco Homo - Thank you
Beer Fairy - Thank you
Haystack - Thank you
Coin Operated - Thank you
Gimme an OOhh - Thank you
One Time at Hand Camp - Thank you
PSA - Thank you
And How's her Bush - Thank you
"The list is long and distinguished"
"Just like my JOHNSON"
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No Motion in the Ocean's Memorial Service.
White House Hasher July 3, 2000 - April 17th, 2008
We are preparing to celebrate Marshall's life on Saturday, April 26,at our church, St. Paul's Episcopal, in Alexandria, Virginia. located on 228 South Pitt Street. A Memorial Visitation will begin at 10:00 a.m., in the Johnston Room,which can be accessed on Duke Street, or through the main church. The Funeral Service is at 11:00 a.m. in the church. Main doors for the church are on South Pitt Street. A luncheon reception will follow immediately in an area called Norton Hall (directly accessible from the church).
Marshall graduated from Wittenberg in 1994, and has many fond memories of his years there. Rick, Ginger, and I believe this fund will be a valuable way to keep Marshall's memory alive, while benefiting students who desire a Wittenberg education. Please direct your contributions to the R. Marshall Brown Fund at the Toledo Community Foundation, 608 Madison Avenue, Suite 1540, Toledo,OH 43604.
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Hash #1185 -- Apr 27, 2008, 3pm – Del Ray (Braddock Rd. Metro)
Hares: Cleopapsmear, A Salt My Ass, Turbo Twat, Can't Find P*ssy in a Haystack
Brew Crew: Dyke Tyson & Purple Peter Eater
Cost: $5
Start: 1320 Braddock Place, Alexandria, VA 22314
D-erections:
Metro: Yellow/Blue Line to Braddock Road… walk diagonally out to your left, walk underneath the archway that says Braddock Place between the brick buildings… Look for the wankers in the grass.
Driving: From points north – Jeff Davis/US1 South, cross over the new bridge construction by Slaters Lane, turn Right on First St. by the McDonalds, up one block and Left on Fayette. Braddock Place is about 150 meters up on the right.
From points south – US1 North, Left on Madison, Right on Fayette. Braddock Place is 200 meters up on your left.
*Best to find parking on Fayette, or anywhere between there and the on on on location (827 Slaters Lane). Ending circle location is less than a 1/2 mile from the start, between there and the on on on.
Misc: A to A'. Bring dry shoes. Tough dog friendly. Probably no P.I… maybe a few prickers. One Beaver Check.
OnOnOn: Rustico
827 Slaters Lane, Alexandria
703-224-5051
Specials: Specials on draft beers, and a cocktail waitress for our very own. HareRaisor's Note: Ask Tranny what happened last summer at the OnOnOn at Rustico, if he even remembers ...
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Upcoming Trails:
Cocky & Topher Rockville
O.B. & Titly Shirlington
Semen on the Pew Manor Park
Knee Dep & Blah Blah Blah Alexandria
"April Showers bring May Pink Eye"
OnOn
MotorMouth
Hash #1184 -- April 20, 2008 -- the Weatherman be Damned trail!
In Honor of my STILL FROZEN TESTICLES ...
(picture excluded for the good of hash-kind)
A man goes into his doctor's office ...
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in
20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.
He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman: "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman
asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."
The salesman said, "Let's see.. size 36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would
press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one
hell of a headache."
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Full Moon Special - Two Fat Guys and a Rambutt Birthday Hash
Celebrate the birthdays of .....
14 Karat C*ck (S.H.I.T.; OTH4; MVH3)
A$$ Ogre (OTH4; MVH3; S.H.I.T.)
Rambutt (EWH3; WH4; S.H.I.T.)
When: Saturday, April 19th
5:00PM
Where: Bungalow Billiards
Manchester Lakes
7003-C Manchester Blvd
Alexandria, Virginia 22310
Phone: 703-924-8730
$15
ON After: with pool, foosball, some food, and our own space until 11 PM
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Upcoming Trails:
Cleopapsmear, A salt my ass, Turbo Twat and Pussy in a Haystack Braddock Road Metro
Cocky & A salt my ass Rockville
Titly & O.B. Shirlington
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Hash #1184 -- Apr 20, 2008, 3pm -- Eisenhower Ave
Hares: Bob Loblaw,Knee Deep, Pay Per View, Tasters Choice
Brew Crew: Please Step Away/Blows A Tranny
Cost: $5
Start: Eisenhower Ave. Metro Station
D-erections:
Metro: Yellow Line to Eisenhower Ave. Look for the wankers in the parking lot.
Driving: I495 to Exit 174 - Eisenhower Connector. Turn right on Eisenhower. Drive about 1.5 miles, metro station is on the right.
Misc: EVERYBODY needs to bring a change of clothes. A to A'. Tough dog friendly. (HareRaisors note: last week said "HOT DOG FRIENDLY" - don't blame me if you brought your 60 lb "puppy")
OnOnOn: Teds Montana Grill
2451 Eisenhower Ave.
703-960-0500
Specials: TBD
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SAVE THE DATE
July 25-27th WHITE HOUSE CAMPING TRIP
October 11th RED DRESS RUN!
and maybe some other stuff in between there.
"If you can't get Laid at this ole hash, You'll never get laid at all"
OnOn
Hash #1183 -- April 13, 2008 -- the HareRaisor's Revenge
I'm back!
After months of Snowboarding (black people hate the cold) and represing all of you at Texas Interhash last weekend, I am finally returning to White House. And boy are you in TROUBLE ... because I'm haring!!!
(you might want to bring ear plugs)
Something funny happened to me at TXIH
(kinda sounds like a bad George Burns joke)
We all tell people "We drink and then we run"
and they all reply "I can't run after I drink!"
but it really isn't that hard. We don't drink that much before trail
and we don't run that far.
WELL,
That isn't true in Texas!
We got WASTED Friday night.
(and there I am with NO ONE to break up with!)
I really wouldn't call what I did in my tent as "sleep"
and we started drinking again Saturday morning
(see my hashspace page for Shot Luge Pics)
So when the 12 mile Ball Buster trail started ... I was like ... no big deal.
I was fine at the 3 mile water check,
but by the 8 mile water check my calf was starting to lodge a formal complaint of abuse.
I drank plenty of water and gatorade at mile 8, hoping that I would be o.k.
Then the Hamstring went on STRIKE.
threating a charlie horse if I ran one more step.
I ended up walking/hopping the last 3 miles of that trail.
And I pretty much limped around the rest of the day trying to get sympathy from "Harriettes who didn't know my whoreish ways"
The morale of the story is ... everyone's body has a limit
Mine was 4 captain and cokes, 2 Mimosas, 4 shots, and 8 miles.
Come out this weekend for a little hashed part of Western Virginia (Fairfax)
There will be shiggy,
there will be beer.
there may be shots.
(and if I could arrange it, we would SO have a shot luge!)
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Hash #1183 -- Apr 13, 2008, 3pm -- the HareRaisor's Revenge Trail
Hares: MotorMouth, Dial F for Faggot (EWH3 HareRaisor)
Brew Crew: Shamrock, Louisvile Sucker
Cost: $5Start: Kmart parking lot
4080 Jermantown Road,
Fairfax, VA 22030
D-erections:
Metro: Orange Line gets to Vienna at 2:20
Take
CUE-GOLD BUS ROUTE 1 to Jermantown & James Swart Circle
Driving: 66 West, rt 50 East, 2nd light make a right on Jermantown road, Kmart is 2 lights down on the right. Look for Wankers in the Parking lot
Misc: Bring a Flashlight (so what its daytime!), bring DRY SHOES, runners trail is not stroller friendly - talk to the hares. hot dogs should be o.k. Walkers trail is stroller and dog friendly.
OnOnOn: John's Place
11104 Lee Hwy,
Fairfax
Specials: TBD
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Coming up:Pay Per View in Alexandria
Cleopapsmear at Braddock Road
Cocky & Topher (what a pair) in B.F.E. Maryland
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We NEED summer hares,
email me if you are interested in alpha haring, or if you want to learn from one of the "veterans"
When in Rome,
FUCK THE ROMANS!
OnOn
Hash #1182 -- April 6, 2008 -- The Brett Michael Hash
Bring on the Virgins!
This week at White House our lot is overflowing with models.
We've got trade-ins from EWH3 that most GO!
Including this one:
a 1984 Et tu Bootay, 0 Haring Miles. White with Pink interior. Body is in great condition. Previous owner only used it on the weekends.
Bring her your best deal
No reasonable offers refused.
Trade-ins accepted!
Or is it time to upgrade to the new 1980 Underground Railroad, HasherTrends's Model of the year?
If you are in the market for a new model or an OLDER model,
or are just "browsing" come down to White House this weekend and check out our fabulous selection.
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Beltway Bob's Guest Bartending and Karaoke Evite
Guest Bartenders:
Dildo Shaggins, Mount My Rear, Underground Railroad, Cock A Doodle Do Me, Dyke Tyson
Mastermind:
Thong Butt Not Forgotten and GayRod
This Friday, April 4
Tortoise and Hare Bar in Crystal City
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Hash #1182 -- April 6, 2008, 3pm --
the Ode to Rock of Love II Hash. Bring an open heart and an air guitar.
Hares: Underground RailRoad,Cocky,Et tu Bootay, Wooly
Brew Crew: Wookin Pa Nub, Hot Lunch
Cost: $5
Start: Scott Run Park, Great Falls.
D-erections:
From the Metro: Metro to Dunn Loring and ask a fellow hasher for a ride.
Driving: Park in the second parking lot on your Right after you exit Georgetown Pike heading West from 495.
Map: http://tinyurl.com/2qavqw Misc: A-A Trail ...BRING A DRY BAG......This trail, like Bret Michaels, will ride you hard and hang you up wet.
Runners Trail: Tough Dog Friendly, NOT Stroller Friendly
Walkers Trail: Somewhat Stroller and Dog Friendly
On-On-On: Wok and Roll
1371 Beverly Rd
McLean, VA 22101
(703) 556-8811
Specials: $2.50 but and budlite.
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What's coming up???
Stay home Next week or risk "The HareRaisor's Revenge Trail" & the return of MotorMouth to WH4!