#1145 August 20, 2007 Potomac Ave Metro
Hares: Put It Out, Peace O’Chum, SoWhiteandSevenInchDwarf, and Spinal Tap
Virgins: Just Ashley, Just Colin, Just Cary
Visitors: Anal Fission (Odessa, TX)
Beer Bitch: Just Ashley
Long Time Noseers: Anal Fission
Analversaries: NONE? REALLY?
Brew Crew: Purple Peter Eater & Knee Deep Pussy High
OnOnOn: La Lomita
The atmosphere at Potomac Ave was cold and wet, not so unlike your mom who is cold and dry. We trekked through rain and over perilous heights on a railroad trestle (violation about that one later) to 1.5 beer checks and a lovely end circle. The trail ended behind a school, where A Salt My Ass found his comfort zone while being chastised by the principal. Fortunately, he’s no stranger to the situation, and knew just what to do (BJ) to keep us out of trouble.
Violations:
Anal Fission: Hashing on Heely’s. Of course, the hardest part of riding Heely’s is telling your dad you’re gay.
Mind The Clap: Injured herself attempting to have sex with a tree. We understand that’s a lot of wood, but that’s just going too far.
Put It Out: Safety Third Violation: Sends entire hash over a railroad trestle after one too many viewings of Stand By Me.
A Salt My Ass: Honorary violation for best BJ on trail. He knew just how to calm the principal down and get him to let us finish our circle.
Dildo Shaggins and Read My Lips: Child molestation on trail. Apparently, they both saw fit to offer ass to a couple of 8 year olds on trail.
Bow Chicka Bow Bow and Semen On The Pew: When somebody asks one of you for a song, you can’t pinch hit to your boyfriend, guys.
Gay Guy Counter: Too many damned violations. Apparently, someone wanted the Reader’s Digest version of what happened on trail.
Hash Shit:
Dairy Queen: Apparently the rash is gone (that’s what he tells all the girls, anyway), but he still gets a “one more week” nomination.
Peace O’Chum: Saw Dairy Queen bring the Hash Shit to the prelube, and asked “Did you get the Hash Shit?”
Slurpee: For admitting that she’s never had the Hash Shit, despite all the stupid things she’s done on trail.
Obeastiologist: Claimed to find last Thursday’s beer check. Liar!
Peace O’Chum: Additional violation for last Thursday’s trail, and for the perilous rail crossing this time.
Slurpee: Arrogance. She stood in circle looking at the other nominees and said “I’ll never get the Hash Shit with them here.”
And your winner is: Slurpee!
And then, it was time for a naming! Just Ken is a strapping young fellow from Homer, Alaska who works in computer security. Just Ken lost his virginity at 17 years old. His favorite position is the Pile Driver, and his most awkward sexual experience is having sex in a 1981 Toyota Celica. The car is so small (and Just Ken’s no dwarf, by the way) that he had to do so with his feet sticking out of the sunroof. I don’t know why we cared to ask, but we learned that Just Ken earned the money to buy said 1981 Toyota Celica by clubbing penguins to death. That’s not a job; it’s “living the dream” kids. So, recommended names are as follows:
Whore Wheel Drive
It Only Takes One Hand
Cause We Were Inverted
Twin Geeks
I Blow Truckers
Tiny Lower Exposure
But we finally named him… “Blew A Seal”
(Assuming of course that you believe what I tell you about a naming)
OnOn,
Gay Guy Counter