Trail news you can abuse.
WH4 Hash 1147 -- Sept 3, 2007 -- 3:00pm -- Woodley Park Metro
So while I have your attention... This coming hash is a MONDAY 3:00 pm trail. So don't screw it up!!
Ahem...
Trail News #38
Shall I compare thee to a summer's trail?
Monday's respite from weekend races.
Rough terrain sends us over hill and dale,
while I long for brew crew's smiling faces.
Eagles hash afar and the sun grows dimm'd.
Beer check distracts us from mosquito's itch,
and we ponder fall trails' shiggy untrimm'd.
"Dough!" we cry, serenading our beer bitch.
Down-down for her, and wankers scamper off
to discover what flour others have lain.
We hurry! There's still more beer to quaff!
It's a great day, but still most complain.
So long as hashers can run and flour may be found;
so lives the hash, where much beer will be downed!
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Upcumming Trails
Sept 9 -- Semen On The Pew -- Langdon NE
Sept 16 -- $50 Bitch & Runway Snatch -- ECOBITCH CHALLENGE
Sept 23 -- Spinal Tap & Hasher Humper
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Upcumming Events
Same as last week....
DC Red Dress Run! Go drag or go home. http://www.whitehousehash.com/rdr/
Slip Knot's 50th birthday hash bash is coming up! It'll be a Mount Vernon trail, so go hang out with the old folks on Sept 8. It will start at the Backlick VRE station at 6900 Hechinger Drive, Springfield. 10 am. Bring $5.
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Hash 1147 -- Sept 3, 2007 -- 3:00pm -- Woodley Park Metro
2007 Labor Day Trail - Celebrate your out-of-work hares!
Hares: Choke Em if You Got Em, Just Rob, Obeastiologist
Metro: Woodley Park / Adams Morgan
Follow marks to green area at Woodley and Calvert, look for wankers.
Cost: $5
Misc: A to A', Plenty o' Shiggy, Some PI, Dog Friendly, Not Stroller Friendly (Walker or Runners). Bring a head lamp if you plan on getting lost and running for 4 + hours (3PM start time). Bring dry shoes just 'cause.
OnOnOn:
Millie and Al's
2440 18th St. NW, Washington, DC 20009
202-387-8131
Specials: Cheap Ass Jello Shots and some other stuff TBD.
OnOn,
Blows A Tranny
blowsatranny@gmail.com
Hash 1146 -- Aug 27, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Francis Scott Key Park
Those of you who I've chatted with more than a few times may have noticed that one of my favorite hobbies is complaining bitterly about things of absolutely no consequence. Today, I turn my attention to idiotic hash song lyrics.
You know that song we sing at the bar to some gullible female virgin (though this is really an EWH3 phenomenon)? AAAL OH WET UH JAW TEE AL OH WET UH? That one. Well, people, the next line of that song is not AAAL OH WET UH JAW TEE AL OH WAY!! I graduated from 2nd grade with this song burned into my memory, and represents about 75% of French knowledge. It's a drinking song about dismembering a lark (alloutte). The second line of the chorus is "Allouette je te plumerai" (JAW TEE PLU MA RAY!) Translated, it means, "lark I'm going to pluck you." It's a cool line. I encourage you to sing it correctly!
Secondly, while hot vagina is tasty, why do we need to say it twice? Tasty and delicious are synonyms people! How about "It's so tasty and nutritious"?
I beg you to consider these changes. Please, won't someone think of the fucking children?!
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Upcumming Trails
Sept 3 -- Choke 'em if you got 'em -- Adams Morgan -- Special time, 3pm!
Sept 9 -- Semen On The Pew -- Langdon NE
Sept 16 -- $50 Bitch & Runway Snatch -- ECOBITCH CHALLENGE
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Upcumming Events
DC Red Dress Run! Go drag or go home. http://www.whitehousehash.com/rdr/
Also don't forget that the Lingerie Prelewd on Friday night. Also, the young people at EWH3 will be getting drunk on Thursday night of the week to celebrate RDR weekend.
Slip Knot's 50th birthday hash bash is coming up! It'll be a Mount Vernon trail, so go hang out with the old folks on Sept 8. It will start at the Backlick VRE station at 6900 Hechinger Drive, Springfield. 10 am. Bring $5. ---------------
Hash 1146 -- Aug 27, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Francis Scott Key Park
Hares: Titly Winks, obeasTiologist, Choke 'Em and Just Rob
Start: Francis Scott Key Park in Georgetown at the Intersection of M St and the Key Bridge
Directions:
Metro: Go to Rosslyn Metro. Ascend escalator and walk across the Key Bridge. Look for wankers.
Driving: If you don't already know how to drive there, you shouldn't be driving. Take the metro.
Cost: $5
Misc: Trail is A to A'. PI possible
ONONON:
Chadwick's
3205 K Street N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20007
Sorry this email went out so late.
OnOn,
Blows A Tranny
WH4 Hash 1145 -- Aug 20, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Potomac Ave Metro
I've been thinking about this recently, and I really want to find a way to express my feelings to each and every one of you 1000+ people to whom this email goes out. I don't mean "feelings" in a girly way, so I'm going to reach out with an appropriate manly gesture -- an e-card.
So WH4 hashers, this one's for you. I truly mean every word of it. Sniff....
Yes, this was a very lame, lazy write up. Here's another ecard to address that issue.
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Upcumming Trails
August 27 -- Titly Winks & ObeasTiologist -- Georgetown-ish September 3 -- Choke 'em If You Got 'em -- Adams Morgan
Sept 10 -- NEED HARES -- 8/13/07 Always Remember!
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Upcumming Events
DC Red Dress Run is October 6th. I would provide you with some witty insight on how fun this will be, but since this is the third RDR weekend in a row one of my idiotic non-hashing friends has decided to get married, I really don't know. I've heard it's fun. Who doesn't like cross-dressing? And bonus for the dudes -- you can wear that lingerie of yours and claim it's "part of the costume." They don't call me Tranny for nothing. Info here: http://www.whitehousehash.com/rdr/
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Hash 1145 -- Aug 20, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Potomac Ave Metro
Hares: SpinalTap, SoWhiteAndSevenInchDwarf, PutItOut and guest appearance from our favorite alien, T&Eh!
Start: Potomac Ave Metro (orange & blue)
Cost: $5
Directions: Metro to Potomac Ave and look for wankers.
For Arlington HHHers, screw your carbon footprint and drive the 14th St Bridge to 395 to 295 to 6th St SE to PA Ave to Potomac Ave . Remember closed S. Cap St bridge is fucking up traffic in the area. Ample street parking day and night.
Miscellaneous Crap: A to A'. Will be live trail since hares are too lazy and it's too hot to prelay. Pooch friendly, stroller hostile. All available shiggy will be used to mystify the pack. There is a moderate chance of PI on trail.
Apres: La Lomita 1330 Pennsylvania Ave SE.
Good Mexican food, nice patio, $3 bottles and hash-tolerant management! (202) 546-3109
OnOn,
Blows A Tranny
WH4 Hash 1144 -- Aug 13, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- West Falls Church Metro
Nothing funny for you this week, I'm preparing myself mentally for the Beer Mile. If you want to join the fun, come to Cardozo High School (a couple blocks north of U Street Metro) at 7pm tonight. Bring 72 ounces of beer, your A-game, and your pukin' shoes.
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Upcumming Trails
August 20 -- Put It Out -- TBA
August 27 -- Titly Winks & ObeasTiologist -- Georgetown-ish
September 3 -- Choke 'em If You Got 'em -- Adams Morgan
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HASH #1144: WEST FALLS CHURCH METRO
(ironically… if there is beer, they will cum!!)
DATE: Monday, August 13th , 2007 - sign-in at 6:30 p.m. and hares away at 6:45 p.m. HST (yes… this is a 'live' trail!!)
HARES:
"And How's Her Bush", "Wookin' Pa Nub" "Chlorine Will Kill Everything" and "Penis Pen Pal"
START: West Falls Church Metro Station
DIRECTIONS:
Metro: West Falls Church Metro. Follow chalk marks to start!!
If Cumming from Falls Church/Arlington and parts North/East:
The West Falls Church Metro is off Haycock Road . If cumming via Route 50, West… take a RIGHT onto Route 7, Leesburg Pike and continue to a RIGHT onto Haycock Road . Park in the local community… or pay to park.
If cumming from Great Falls Street… it a LEFT onto Haycock Road.
And finally… From the Beltway:
Find your way to the beltway… take the EXIT for Route 66, East towards DC. Take the EXIT for Route 7, Leesburg Pike, East (that would be a RIGHT!!) and then take your first LEFT onto Haycock Road. Park in the local community… or pay to park.
Or check the old fashioned way… GET A MAP !!
( 7040 Haycock Road, Falls Church, VA 22043 )
(ADC Map: Northern VA Map 15, G1 Fac)
Miscellaneous:
Live trail (get over it!!)… Bag vehicle will be provided.
This trail is A to A' so that means… bring dry clothes and shoes. It might get chilly… so bring long sleeves. If you have to wee-wee… bring TP!!
Oh… and don't forget to bring those… 'Beautiful Young Female Virgins'!!
On On On:
TBD
OnOn,
Blows A Tranny
WH4 Hash 1143 -- Aug 6, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Court House Metro
This may be a bit unusual for a trail announcement email, but I have a Hash Shit nomination. Thursday night, 2 Lips in the Bush, perpetrator of the Saturday Eagle trail on the camping trip (and soon-to-be US diplomat), asked me what my trail was going to be like this coming Monday. This is nothing unusual, so I told him I was planning on getting revenge on all you lazy, uncreative hares by setting a shiggy-filled deathmarch. He then asked me, without a trace of irony, if I would avoid shiggy on my trail.
Apparently he'll be on a plane for 20 hours the next day. I decided to relent. This week's trail will be dry and PI-free. However, since we won't be sending him on a plane with wet shoes, we should put him on a plane with a plunger with a bunch of shit attached. I'm sure TSA won't mind.
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Upcumming Trails
August 13 -- And How's Her Bush -- West Falls Church
August 20 -- Put It Out -- TBA
August 27 -- Titly Winks & ObeasTiologist -- Georgetown-ish
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Announcements
Start getting ready for the WH4 Holiday Party! It's just around the corner!
More immediately, the Beer Mile is coming up -- August 10th! Location TBA. 1609 meters, 2.13 liters of beer. Lots of vomit. Come join the fun! Even if you don't compete, each competitor will need a pit crew person to hand him beer. And there will be non-competitive drinking after.
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WH4 Hash 1143 -- Aug 6, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Court House Metro
Embittered Hareraiser's Trail
Hares: Blows A Tranny, Obeastiologist, Can't Find Pussy in a Haystack, Choke 'em If You Got 'em
Start: Near Court House Metro. Right here, to be exact. Just take the metro and follow the markings to the start.
Cost: $5
Misc: Dry, flat, short. No Ivy Block or dry shoes needed, A-to-B.
OnOnOn,
Continental
1911 N. Fort Myer Drive
Arlington, VA
Specials? Nah.
OnOn,
Blows A Tranny