WH4 Hash 1142 -- July 30, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- East Falls Church Metro

Oooooh, you wascawy hashers. No one's stepped up for any of the August trails yet, so I'm forced to hare a trail so bad you'll be jealous of my ass on that cold ice during circle.

That oughta learn ya.

All of you who aren't signed up, go camping this weekend. Directions and FAQ-Us here. Bring money, a closeable drinking vessel and prophylactics. All else is superfluous.


--------------

Upcumming Trails

8/6 -- Blows A Tranny and possibly other embittered hareraisers -- Courthouse-ish Metro
The rest of August -- Who the fuck knows?


--------------

Announcements

There's some camping thing this weekend? Maybe you've heard of it? Anyway, it looks like fun and I think I'm signed up, so I'll probably go.

BEER MILE -- 1760 yards, 72 ounces of beer. Lots of puking. August 10, sketchy location TBA.


-----------

WH4 Hash 1142 -- July 30, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- East Falls Church Metro

Hares: Assflac & All Lickie No Dickie

Start: Near East Falls Church Metro (look for marks from metro to start )

Cost: $5

Miscellaneous: A to A'''-- Park at Clare & Don's and walk back to EFC area for best parking.

130 N. Washington Street

Falls Church, VA 22046

WH4 Hash 1137 -- July 23, 2007 6:30 pm -- Eisenhower Metro

The August hareline is looking awfully barren these days. I suggest you wankers pick up the slack, because otherwise I'll be forced to hare a trail or two. Make no mistake, I will lead you all on a poorly-marked 8-mile poison ivy addled trail. And to add insult to (likely) injury, it will be A-to-B and I won't arrange for any specials at the bar.

So get on that!

Camp Kamanawanalei'a is coming up! I guarantee you'll have a good time. If you don't, I will personally allow you to buy me a beer. All the info you could possibly need is here.
---------
Upcumming Trails

7/27-29 -- Kamanawanalei'a -- FOUR trails -- Bentonville, Va.
7/30 -- Assflac, Lickie-no-Dickie -- East Falls Church
8/6 -- NEED hares. Or I will be forced to set trail. And it will suck.
-------------
Announcements!

Sign up for the camping trip!

This trip is an all inclusive weekend complete with…
• Riverside Campground
• BEER
• Food
• 4 Trails
• BEER
• Tubing
• Giveaways
• BEER!
-----------
WH4 Hash 1137 -- July 23, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Eisenhower Ave Metro
Hares: JackOff Lantern, Bob Loblaw, Knee Deep P*ssy High
Cost: $5

Start: Just to the east side of the Metro station (closest to Old Towne)

http://tinyurl.com/2oqpyc

D-erections:

Metro: Take the Blue Line to Eisenhower Ave Metro station. Exit to the east and look for wankers towards the back of the big empty parking lot.

Driving: Take the Capital Beltway to the Telegraph Rd exit towards Alexandria. Make a quick right at Pershing, quick right at Stovall, quick left at Eisenhower. Or, use this link to get your own directions: http://tinyurl.com/343h2t

Miscellaneous: A-A', Shiggy, tunnels, darkness, water – bring a FLASHLIGHT and dry shoes. Walkers trail stroller friendly, runners trail definitely not. Bring a flashlight!!

On-On-On:
San Antonio Bar & Grill - more info »
200 Swamp Fox Rd, Alexandria, VA
(703) 329-6400

Specials:
$2.50 domestic drafts
1/2 price appetizers

OnOn Ass Fucking,
Blows A Tranny

WH4 Hash 1136 -- July 16, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- Columbia Heights Metro

Below is an abridged version of the Camping Trip FAQ-U's (Frequently Asked Questions for U). More info on the camping trip can be found here. Sign up by this Monday's trail and you'll get a personalized toe tag!! Plus, I hear your mom's signed up, so you'd better go camping just to keep an eye her.

Trail FAQ

What's trail going to be like on Saturday?
Short, dry and flat, just like your mom. Ok, it'll be at least dry and your mom may be on the trail. There will be a Walker/Turkey/Eagle-ish option. Runner trails are A to B. After trail you'll be fed and put on a tube to float home.

What do you mean "Eagle-ish"?
You know the saying, "Tough-dog friendly?" Well, let's just say the eagle is "Tough Eagle Friendly" and may look more like Pamela Anderson's chest ( http://gallery.pamelaanderson.com) than Keira Knightley's. Terrain makes for some fun challenges not normally seen in DC. But if you're not a trail runner already, then you may want to be careful on your ankles. If you have any question of whether or not you're an eagle, the hares recommend drinking more and running turkey.

Why are Eagles required to bring water and not Turkeys?
Turkeys can bring water too if they would like, but the Eagles will be out for a bit longer than the Turkeys. (First half for Eagles will be in the neighborhood of an hour, with a very short second half.) Given the heat and likely dehydrated state of hashers, running for an hour seems like a bad idea if you don't have your own water source.

Will I need a flashlight or a change of shoes?
You won't need a flashlight (unless you're so far off trail, the sun has gone down). A change of shoes shouldn't be necessary either, though toss something in the bag for your tubing trip afterwards.

What will I need?
Trail is found in the middle of a large national forest this year. If you get lost, it's a LOOOONG ways to civilization. So, hash with a buddy and bring a whistle in case you get lost. Trail will be swept, but we can't be responsible if you get so far off trail that the sweeper gets ahead of you. For those of you who have hashed in past years, you know it can sometimes get very hot on trail. Water will be provided at the BC, but you want to bring your own to get you there. (Eagles MUST bring water. Turkeys/Walkers this is optional.)

What if I'm hung over from the night before?
Drink some gatorade, take some asprin, get lei'd, start re-toxing... Do I look like your mother? You're supposed to be professional hashers by now.

What should I pack in my hash bag?

• Water shoes. (Underwater rocks hurt)
• Swimsuit.
• Drinking Vessel for on the river.
• Sunscreen
• Keep in mind, bag vehicle space is limited. Try not to bring the kitchen sink or your ex-girlfriend who you're privately hoping may hook up w/ you later.

• Riverside Campground
• BEER
• Food
• 4 Trails
• BEER
• Tubing
• Giveaways
• BEER!

WH4 hash 1135 -- July 9, 2007 -- 6:30 pm -- U Street Metro

Today's lesson is on kegs. Many of us deal with these wonderful items on a daily basis and never think twice about how remarkable they are. For your edutainment, here are some keg fun facts!

• What we typically call a "full keg" is in fact a half barrel of beer. A U.S. beer barrel is defined as 31 gallons. What your lovely brew crewers buy each week is a 15.5 gallon keg.
• A half-barrel keg is equivalent to 6.88 cases of 12 oz cans, and can weigh 140-170 lbs, depending on the kind of beer and what kind of metal was used to make the keg.
• Hand pumps use outside air to pressurize the keg, which allows microbes in the air to come in contact with the beer, the result of which is that beer dispensed with party pumps will only stay fresh for about 48 ours. CO2 systems keep the beer fresh for up to 120 days. Fortunately, the hash doesn't often come up against these constraints.
• An interesting game called "Keg Race" is played by competing teams who race to finish a keg without turning off the faucet.
• Replacement costs of a keg is about $150. Depending on the metal used in construction, a keg can fetch $15 to $50 at a scrap yard. Makes that $10 deposit seem charitable, doesn't it? Keg thefts have increased in recent months as scrap metal costs have gone up.
• Here is a cool photo of a keg that's been cut open.