WH4 hash 1114 Sunday, February 25 3:00 pm -- Southern Ave Metro

Apologies for the lateness of this announcement. It's taken me a couple days to recover from the Brew Crew trail on Sunday. Despite almost dying on trail (twice) and it generally being a big clusterfuck, it was a hell of a lot of fun. Honestly, the brew crew are a bunch of clever, kind, and physically attractive hashers, and I encourage everyone to thank them for their work and/or volunteer to crew a couple times a year.

On to this week's trail. It's going to be in Maryland. Again. It's going to be A-to-B. I expect a lot of complaining about that, but there's a good reason. All the good shiggy is at one metro stop, and the bar is at the next one. Seems like a good reason to me. If you have a problem with that, you have two options:

1. You want good shiggy and no bar: Mount Vernon H3 meets every Saturday morning, alternating each week between the old folks' home and the Kmart in Annandale. You'll get tired, and then do down-downs from a thimble.

2. You want a good bar and no shiggy: EWH3 meets every Thursday night at the I Phelta Thi house, bro. Duuude! I'm gonna get soooo wasted!

If you want to be both drunk and dirty, sometimes you've gotta compromise.

WH4 hash 1113 Sunday, February 18 3:00 pm -- Grosvenor Metro

Happy VD, White House hashers! I'm sure I'm not the first to point out that "Venereal Disease" and "Valentine's Day" have the same initials. In any case, when having furtive sexual relations with the stranger you pick up in the bar tonight (because you "just want to be held") it's best to use a condom. Or at least make sure there's one in the room. I'm sure that'll work too.

Okay, that's enough of my rambling attempt at humor for this week. Now for something actually relevant to my harerazor dooties. Let's be honest: the pudjam-0 line sucks. You hate calling it and I hate recording it. The fatcats at WH4 Inc have told me I can't stop recording it, but I'm trying something new for those who are forced to get hash info from the road. So, I set up an email address, wh4pudjam@gmail.com, so that if you send a text message to that address from your mobile phone, it replies with a short text message with directions to the hash. Just send a message with the word "help".

So, you ask, how do I send a text message to an email address?

Well that depends. If your phone has an email client (BlackBerry, Treo, Sidekick or other smartphone) you should use that to send messages.

If your phone does not, you should use your txt/SMS interface for sending messages. Switch to alphanumeric mode and type the email address in the "To" field. Or, if you have the option of choosing which type of SMS to send, choose "email." If your phone has a separate interface for MMS (multimedia messages) try that if the txt/SMS interface fails.

And I suppose I should warn you that it'll probably cost 20 - 30 cents to send and receive the messages.

If you're still confused (and what are the odds of that?) come find me at the hash and I'll show you on your own phone how to do it.

Now on to information you actually care about!!!

Upcoming Trails

2/25 - Suckyerdad &Gimme A Dick- Southern Ave Metro
3/4 - Turbo Twat and her Hare-m
3/11 - Thong Butt Not Forgotten, Gay Rod -- Annandale


Trail News

Welcome to the First Anal Brew Crew Hash! OK, so Brew Crew has done hashes in the past, but this is the declaration for a new annual event.

Our intent is to ride you hard and put you away wet. Of course, when the Brew Crew puts you away wet, you'll know you've had a good time. This is going to be a feature filled, shiggy filled, beer filled extravaganza!

There will be a Turkey/Eagle split. Eagles should be dedicated. We'll have no pity on you! Turkeys will be challenged too, but we'll have some pity. Less beer, but more pity. Walkers will have even more pity but far less beer. We report, you decide.

Hares: Takes it up the Eh, your 2007 Brew Crew, and a mystery hare!


Cost: $5


Start: Grosvenor Metro (Red Line) in the parking lot


D-erections:


Metro: Take the red line to Grosvenor/Strathmore Metro


Driving from VA: Why drive when you can metro? This is a Brew Crew hash! But if you must, take 495 to Rockville Pike. Make a U turn at the second light so you are heading North on Rockville Pike (MD 355). Metro is at Tuckerman Lane and Rockville Pike.


Driving from MD: Go to Tuckerman Lane and Rockville Pike.


Click this link to a map of the start or else cut and paste the link:
http://tinyurl.com/yttr99


Miscellaneous: Trail is A-A. Eagle trail is for the dedicated. Walkers trail is for wimps and cripples. Bring dry clothes, and flashlights are always a good idea.

On-On-On:

Hank Dietle's Tavern
11010 Rockville Pike,
Rockville, MD 20852
301-881-8711


Specials:
$8.75 domestic pitchers

They don't serve food here, but we can bring our own food in. Phone numbers of local delivery places will be provided.

WH4 hash 1112 Sunday, February 11 3:00 pm -- North Arlington

That lying varmint Punxsutawney Phil has played us for fools yet again. And since one of our hares this week is returning to the Birthplace of Cold itself, I'm taking the opportunity to educate you wankers on the dangers of hypothermia. This condition is a special concern to the hash, as it is a gradual process that is accelerated by being wet, drinking cold beverages, and being too drunk to know when to go inside.

When hypothermia first sets in, the hasher will feel cold, and speech is slurred. I recommend you get the affected hasher to warm area like a restaurant or bar and buy the hasher a warm drink, such as an Irish coffee. If hypothermia progresses, the hasher may exhibit incoherence, drowsiness, loss of muscle control, and the hasher may seem irrational. The hasher should proceed with an attractive member of the opposite sex to backseat of car or other convenient location. Both hashers should remove clothing. Skin-to-skin contact is excellent for warming a hypothermic hasher. Mild exercise is also encouraged. If the hasher is still showing signs of hypothermia, several more attractive hashers should join in warming the patient.

Please note that Blows A Tranny is NOT a licensed medical professional. Following this advice may kill you. Or get you laid. Proceed at your own discretion.

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Do you call the Pudjam line? Email me and tell me how I can make it better. If you know of someone who calls Pudjam and doesn't get this announcement, tell him or her to corner me at the next hash and tell me how to improve it.

Trail openings still available for some gourmet spring dates.

blowsatranny@gmail.com

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Upcoming Trails

2/18 - Takes it up the Ehh - & his merry brew crew -- TBA
2/25 - Suckyerdad & friends- Southern Ave Metro
3/04 - Turbo Twat & hare-m- Van Ness Metro

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Onon,
Blows A Tranny
2007 WH4 Hareraiser