1108 - January 21, 2007

Outgoing MisManagement Trail-Virgin Snowfall of 2007
Hash # 1108 January 21, 2007

Hares: Hokie No Pokie, Jack Off Lantern, Bad Ditch, Tit-ly Winks, Duck Duck Bush
Start: Vienna Metro
OnOnOn: Glory Days
Virgins: Just Ethan (Marine Beater made him cum)
Visitors: None
Beer Bitch: Just Greg

[pictures]

The hard core wankers who braved treacherous conditions on the ice rink that was Rt. 66 gathered in the parking deck at the Vienna Metro only to find that their trusty steed Shitty Shitty Bang Bang was MIA. Local hospitals were scoured and authorities brought in to search the ditches when we learned that our conveyor of liquid pleasure’s beaver…that is to say its tires…were too bald to deliver.

All had a view of this season’s latest headlamp fashion as our hares promised to take us underground as often as we could get some on top. Our core temperatures continued to plummet as we stalled for beer. Blows a Tranny enlightened us with the 5 stages of hypothermia. The first 3 stages escape me but my ears thawed enough to learn that “Stage 4 is acceptance…followed by death.”

At the last minute the hares decided this would be a live trail as most of their already shitty marks were now covered in snow. Hokie No Pokie and Jack Off Lantern took off in a flurry of flour while Bad Ditch led us through an uninspired Father Abraham after repeated pleas with us to skip this trail and save ourselves.

We ran, slipped, and slid through checks and false trails that crossed frigid streams. Within 5 minutes we found ourselves in a series of tunnels so long that those of us short sighted wankers who showed up without passports or naturalization papers were now on a Department of Homeland Security list. Hola,yo querro cervesa.

Tri-Ass-a-Thong craftily surmised, “This trail is headed towards water.” And convinced Tit-Kaboob to follow Lick-a-Lotta-Puss and Scratch-n-Sniff's lead by tucking their tails between their legs in a joint retreat. The two deserters quickly stumbled upon our surprised hares and, with the irresistible reward of seeing Hokie No Pokie and Jack Off Lantern’s bare asses made WH4 history as being the FRBs to the beer check.

Speaking of beer, those of us who made it through 3 tunnels and had reached Stage 4 of hypothermia were rescued by the White Knight (proposed hash name). Like the U.S. Postal Service, neither rain, nor snow, nor bald tires will keep our Brew Crew from providing this vital service.

The trail finished off with one final tunnel that was quite a sight to behold. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, tough shit. Next time show up in the snow and do the runner’s trail.

With a tear of regret (or was that ecstasy?) glistening in her eye, Tit-ly Winks led her final circle as RA. Some of you jerk-offs were violated for some truly unique shit:

Slip Knot—for drinking his own piss
Hokie No Pokie—Locking his keys in his car which contained all the flour and maps for the hares.
Turbo Twat—for bringing her dog Just Mirabel to a hash in a crocheted shawl and proceeding to do a face plant with her on their way into and out of the first tunnel.
Wookin’ Pa Nub—didn’t recognize Marine Beater all bundled up and instead of asking to see her face said, “Show me your hair.”

What better way to conclude this MisManagement’s tenure that with a naming? Our gayest hasher, Butt Brown Ale, made Just Greg cum and had some stories to start us off. During an alleged “Ski Trip” (man love weekend) where there was some drinking (anal sex) and more than a few bowls of chili (lip sang to Bette Midler and George Michael albums) Just Greg had a few complications in the car ride home. Once we thawed out the names started flowing, hence forth throughout the world of hashing Just Greg will be known as Blows Both Ways.

On Out,

Double Header

1107 -- January 14, 2007

WH4 Trail #1107 – January 14, 2007 – Virginia is for lovers hash
Location: Virginia Square Metro
Hares: Double Header, Cleo Papsmear, Tit-Kaboob, Runway Snatch, and Butt Brown Ale
OnOnOn: O’Sullivan’s Irish Pub
Virgins: Just Debra, Just Cory, Just Elizabeth, Just Joe, Just Anna, Just Richard, and Just Nora (cutest dog ever!)
Visitors: Plank, Cocktoberfest, Hand Job, and Sloppy Ho (visitor my ass!)
Beer Bitch: Just Nathan (drunkard)
Analversaries: Cleo Papsmear – 25 run mug.
[pictures]

Wearing shorts and a tank top are perfectly normal for a hash right? Maybe in the summer. I’d like to thank competitive industrializations for enabling me to wear shorts in the middle of winter. A point later highlighted by Bad Ditch bouncing into the beer check in just a sports bra.

The trail started out like any good hook up, a long wait and hard work before getting anything wet or satisfying. And by wet I mean the lovely shot check b/c the hares forgot to include shiggy. Virgin Just Cory was so excited about the shot check he started whoring himself out in hopes of getting more shots. Good virgin, good virgin! Yay for the shot check, because that was the only thing that kept me going until the beer check. Silly hares don’t you know, make the trail SHORT after a big party.

Finally after Pork And Cheese made all the boys feel slow the pack reached the end and we circled up adjacent to a noisy street. Good hares. Because by this point the hangovers finally wore off and, everyone was ready to be rowdy under the command of Titly Winks.

Hashers were violated in several ways a few are listed:
Brew Crew- Once for forgetting their namesake. They left only Wooken Pa Nub and water and the BC. Second for clearly needing a hearing aid since they confused, “bring condoms” with “bring condiments,” and supplied the hash with 200 packets of mayonnaise.

Just Debra – Ah, poor sweet virgin no one warned you not to bring new shoes. Oh that’s right Just Topher did warn you, you just didn’t listen. And like a true gentleman Just Topher drank out of Just Debra’s shoe for her. (Whoa I think I choked a little on my own vomit for Just Topher’s chivalry)

Hand Job – He asked if Dupont has cocks. (insert your own witty comment here)

Runway Snatch – In true experience hare fashion, she auto hashed as the walking hare.

Just Nathan (beer bitch) – Aside from getting trashed off his ass at circle and heckling himself. Rather then relieve himself discreetly on trail he attempted to urinate all over this dude’s lawn while the dude watched.

Bad Ditch – For not taking off one more layer and wore just her sports bra as she bounced nipple first into the BC. At this point I tried to recreate the visual portion of this violation but since I am a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee the crowd had to use their imaginations a little.



Next it was time for a naming. Clever Just Topher had been going from hash to hash trying to get himself renamed from Topher the chauffeur (thank you OTH). After a bunch of less then satisfying stories. Designer Bush regales us with a tale from Drip Dry. Apparently Just Topher passed out at a part naked face down on a bed. FREE GAME! Drip Dry, being the clever girl that she is, tried to insert salty pretzels into Just Topher's exit only area. Oddly enough, He did not like this because he clenched his cheeks and shot a pretzel across the room. Well after a story like that, names poured out and Just Topher shall hence forth and forever more me know as: A-Salt My Ass (well until he decides to get himself renamed again).

On Out,
Cocky