I hope that everyone enjoyed the 1069 BBQ. After suffering in the agonizing grip of sobriety for most of the day, I returned home with the plan of paying a visit to Lord Kegerator to quench my thirst. I pulled on the handle, expecting the nectar of the gods, and instead receiving nothing but a sputtering dribble much like the orgasm I described a few announcements ago. I wiped away my tears and convinced myself that I could find alcohol somewhere in my house. I searched near and far, but like the fat kid in gym class trying to run the mile, my effort was in vain. I was about to start licking the runoff pan that I put below the kegerator spout when I realized that I had stashed a large bottle of Stone Imperial Stout below my sink about two months ago. The idea was to cellar it for a year to improve the flavor. So much for that plan. I was filled with 10.8% happiness for the rest of the evening.

The moral of the story is that every wise drunk has alcohol hidden somewhere. With that in mind, I give you my list of the best places to stash your booze:

-Under the kitchen sink. Unless you actually use all of the cleaners you keep down there on a regular basis, you're likely to forget that you have booze hidden there. If you accidentally drink the cleaners, consult a mortician.

-In the tank of your toilet. It's like a mini refrigerator.

-A bible with the center pages cut out will hold most flasks. Tell your significant other, parents, or AA counselor that you need some time alone with the good book.

-If you tie a ribbon or bow around the bottle, you can usually get away with keeping it on your desk at work. People will think it was a gift from an office holiday party that you never took home. If any smart ass ever asks why the bottle isn't full, tell them that you think it's evaporating and blame the heating/cooling system.

We are now moving to our summer schedule, which means we will be hashing Mondays at 6:30 near a metro stop. It's like EWH3, except instead of feeling like shit on Friday you feel like shit on Tuesday. This week, we have the mostly annual "Feminine Hygiene Hash." Last year, we were treated to tequila shots in douche applicators. Come on out Monday and see what we get to drink out of this year.

1) My Receding Hareline
August dates are the only summer dates left, and they are filling up. Now is the time to start thinking about fall dates. Find an open date, a location and some co-hares, check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
6/12 – Are You In? and Double Header – Judiciary Square
6/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese - Ballston again?
6/26 – Butt Plug and Well Drilled – Woodley/Cleveland Park
7/03 - Pussy in a Haystack, Cockblocked by Jesus, Pre-Dick-a-Mint - Eastern Market

3) Upcoming Events
The EWH3 pub crawl is July 1 at noon, starting at the Ugly Mug. Go here and respond as Brian Free to really screw up the head count. Even better, invite yourself, respond as a "yes", and provide a witty comment that clearly indicates you aren't coming. http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=OHZRAPFTMYGUMTOICYEX&li=iq&src=email&trk=aei6

The White House Hash's Summer of '69 camping trip is coming up! Join WH4 for three days of beer and sex as we celebrate Beerstock from July 28th to July 30th at Goldenrock Campground near Bentonville, VA. This trip includes: camping in a riverside campground, beer, tubing, 4 trails (some good), beer, food, and giveaways. Just bring your drinking vessel, a tent (or the willingness to sleep where you fall), sunblock, bug repellent, and maybe a bathing suit.

For more information and the registration form, see: http://www.whitehousehash.com/beerstock

You can also register online at http://www.active.com/event_detail.cfm?event_id=1331946 . (additional fees from the Man apply. Bummer.)

SPECIAL NOTE: I will not be personally providing three days of sex for every registrant. You'd be lucky to get three minutes. Sorry to disappoint, ladies (and Put It Out).

4) Mismanagement Mandated Announcements
A good way to get the cops called on us is to relieve yourself in front of some suburbanite or little old lady. Please be careful about where you take a leak.

5) WH4 Hash 1070 – Monday, June 5th 2006 6:30 PM – Ballston Metro

The Feminine Hygiene Hash V: The Golden Douche & 'The Number of the Yeast'

Hares:  
Summer's Eve, Senior Douche-berg, Closet Slut, and Small Wonder

Cost is $5

Start:  
Ballston Metro

D-Erections:

By Metro:  
HIGHLY ENCOURAGED!!!

Orange Line to Ballston Metro Stop – Exit Stairs follow hash marks and/or Douches to Wankers!

By Driving:  
HOV-2 on 66W and Street Parking Restrictions lifted at 6:30, so Metro is your best bet.

(From Virginia and Points West): I-66 East to Fairfax Drive/Glebe Road Exit (#71) STRAIGHT onto Fairfax Drive, RIGHT onto N. Stuart, go 1 block.  Park and Hash!

(From DC/MD and Points East): I-66 West (HOV-2) to Glebe Road EXIT, make a LEFT onto Glebe (120 South). LEFT onto N. Fairfax Drive, RIGHT onto N. Stuart, go 1 block. Park and Hash! Or 50 WEST / Arlington Blvd WEST to RIGHT onto Glebe Road. RIGHT onto N. Fairfax Drive, RIGHT onto N. Stuart, go 1 block. Park and Hash!

Miscellaneous Crap:  
The 'Eve' of the most impotent Day of Doucheology!  That "OH, SO FRESH!" Feeling Worldwide could be 'Flushed Out' by the Arrival of the 'Anti-Couche' since Tuesday will be 'The Number of the Yeast!' (06/06/06).  But We Will Fight Strong! With MANY! MANY! Golden Douches, and Great Hares this Year to help Cleanse the Day for the sake of Feminine Hygiene Everywhere!  And we even have One Famous Douche-Hare who was Born on June 6th, so be sure to BUY HIM A SHOT AT THE BAR afterwards!  (Here's a hint, his name rhymes with Senior Bouche-Berg!)

A to A' where A' = a ten minute walk to the metro. Call it A to B if that makes you feel better. Some PI and Shiggy. Relatively Dry, and many Golden Douches to be found!  

On On On:  
El-Ranchero Mexican Restaurant
4617 Wilson Blvd
Arlington, VA 22203
(703) 524-1010

Specials:
Extended happy hour specials have been arranged by the hares

OnOn,

I managed to sustain yet another injury. While eating lunch at work, a malicious pita sandwich (from a place called "Friends" Kabob, no less) caused part of the tooth I broke in Durango to chip off. Believe it or not, my BAC was only slightly above the legal limit when this happened. I really regret not enabling the "donate" button on the "Liver in Training" website.

We aren't hashing on Sundays anymore until the fall. This Monday, we have a special hash with a special start time of 1:00. It's our 1069^th run, so be sure to come out and enjoy some grillables and a lot of beer. I've linked the evite several times, but some of you are wisely learning not to read this announcement. So here it is for good measure. http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/kstorck@gmail.com/wh4_1069

If you want to guarantee* yourself a neat-o personalized tag that attracts members of the opposite sex, repels Pat Robertson, slices, dices, and makes julienne fries, respond to the evite by Wednesday.

* Guarantee guaranteed. Guarantee of guarantee not guaranteed

1) My Receding Hareline
Sign up to hare on July 3 and make my life easier. To make my life more difficult, tell me you will hare this day at a hash, and then never follow through with an email. Find a location and some co-hares, check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
6/5 – Summer's Eve and Senor Doucheberg – Arlington
6/12 – Are You In? and Double Header – Judiciary Square
6/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese - TBA
6/26 – Butt Plug and Well Drilled – Woodley/Cleveland Park

3) Upcoming Events
The White House Hash will have a very special hash to celebrate our 1069th run on Memorial Day (May 29). We will be having a cookout at Ft. Hunt park (insert Mike Hunt joke here), located just south of Alexandria. Go to the evite here: http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/kstorck@gmail.com/wh4_1069

The EWH3 pub crawl is July 1 at noon, starting at the Ugly Mug. Go here and respond as Brian Free to really screw up the head count. Even better, invite yourself, respond as a "yes (+5 guests)", and provide a witty comment that clearly indicates you aren't coming. http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=OHZRAPFTMYGUMTOICYEX&li=iq&src=email&trk=aei6

Save the date! The WH4 Camping Trip will be July 28-30 at Goldenrock Campground in Bentonville, VA. When we get off our asses and figure out the price, we'll let you know. If you'd like to register early, simply fill a sock full of quarters, write your name on a post-it note, and mail the sock to:

Wang Chunks
Sunnyside Retirement Community unit #21
Ft. Meyers, Fl 33907

4) Mismanagement Mandated Announcements
A good way to get the cops called on us is to relieve yourself in front of some suburbanite or little old lady. Please be careful about where you take a leak.

5) WH4 Hash 1069 – Monday, May 29th 2006 1:00 PM – Ft. Hunt Park

(Note special start time and day!)

The time has cum for the White House Hash House Harriers to celebrate yet another analversary. Like most of you, we've had a 69 or two, (or at least given it the good old drunken hasher try) but this one promises to deliver! Cum help us celebrate our 1069th trail with a Memorial Day BBQ at Fort Hunt Park! $10 gets you a turkey/eagle split, a wonderful meal, and all the beer you can drink!

Hares: Wax on Whacks Off, Tit-ly Winks, Mother May I, Can't Fuck Dust

Cost:  $10

(Note special start time and day!)

Start: Area B at Fort Hunt Park

D-erections:

(Note special start time and day!)
(Note excessive mentions of special start time and day!)
(Note excessive use of the word special in this announcement!)

(Metro)
This event is not directly metro accessible, so please plan accordingly. A few generous hashers have offered to provide transport from the metro to the park for sexual favors, but can't take all you wankers, make arrangements for a ride! Please remember that it is Memorial Day so the cops will be out in force. The DD (Designated Driver) is your friend, the DUI is not! Take the Yellow Line to the Huntington Station and use the lower (Huntington Ave) exit from the station - the generous hashers will be providing rides to/from the park between 12:15-12:50pm and 6-6:30pm. The last ride to get to the park will be leaving after the arrival of the 12:48pm train, so plan to arrive then or before.

(Driving)
Find your way to the GW Parkway and get yourself going south. Exit at sign for Fort Hunt Park/Fort Hunt Road (approx. 5 miles south of Old Town Alexandria). We are in the second parking lot - Picnic Area B.

Click this link for a map to the start. If that doesn't work, try copying and pasting it.
http://tinyurl.com/g5kr2

Miscellaneous:
Trail is A to A. Flashlight? Not unless you get lost. Dry clothes? Always a good idea. PI factor: Med to High. Stroller friendly? With special help from the hares. Dog friendly? We'll be in a park, so yeah, bring along Fifi and Fido, but probably tough dogs only on trail.

The Hares are away at 1:00pm, opening circle starting shortly thereafter. There will be a walker's trail and a runner's trail with a Turkey/Eagle Split. Food will be served at least 1 HOUR after the ending circle.

On-On-On:
Area B at Ft. Hunt Park

Specials:
WoWo grilling in a really tight t-shirt that says "muy caliente."

On On,
Hokie No Pokie
2006 WH4 Hareraiser

A lot of folks have sent me those "help me raise funds and run a marathon" requests recently. The idea is that you sign up to help out the charity and raise some ungodly sum of money for them, and if you fail to raise the set amount of cash, they charge your credit card for the difference. I realized the sheer brillance of this scam and decided that I had to be a part of it. So, I infringed on several copyrights and created my own personal fund raising website. Without further ado, I give you my "Liver in Training" website: http://filebox.vt.edu/users/ruhill/liverintraining/liverintraining.html

Make your donation today.

This Sunday, join the White House Hash as we bid farewell to Sunday trails with a shiggy trail located well outside the Beltway. Bring a flashlight and dry clothes.

1) My Receding Hareline
Sign up to hare on July 3 and make my life easier . Find a location and some co-hares, check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
5/29 - White House 1069 Cookout - Can't Fuck Dust, Mother May I, WoWo, Tit-ly Winks - Ft. Hunt Park
6/5 – Summer's Eve and Senor Doucheberg – Arlington
6/12 – Are You In? – Judiciary Square
6/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese - TBA

3) Upcoming Events
The White House Hash will have a very special hash to celebrate our 1069th run on Memorial Day (May 29). We will be having a cookout at Ft. Hunt park (insert Mike Hunt joke here), located just south of Alexandria. Go to the evite here: http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/kstorck@gmail.com/wh4_1069

Save the date! The WH4 Camping Trip will be July 28-30 somewhere near Front Royal, VA.

Club 10-56 is putting the FUN back in FUNdraising! The Fifth Annual Backyard Bash is only 3 weeks away!
Endless Kegs of Beer
Live Music
Food!  Fun!  Freebies!
…And it's all for a good cause!
Saturday, May 20th, 2-10pm
221 N. Galveston St.
Arlington, VA  22203

Go to www.club1056.com and sign up today.
Remember, if you pay in advance you save $5 off the admission price.

4) Mismanagement Mandated Announcements
A good way to get the cops called on us is to relieve yourself in front of some suburbanite or little old lady. Please be careful about where you take a leak.

5) WH4 Hash 1068 – Sunday, May 21st 2006 3:00 PM - Fairbrook Drive in Herndon, VA

Episode MLXVIII: The Shiggy Strikes Back  
( The Empire Strikes Back was released in theaters May 21, 1980)

Hares: Hokie No Pokie, JackOff Lantern, Can't Find Pussy in a Haystack

Cost:  $5

Start: Parking lot on Fairbrook Drive in Herndon, VA (a galaxy far, far away)

D-erections:

(Metro)
Time travel to the year 2017 when the orange line extension is built and metro to Herndon. Hop on a bus. Exit at Fairbrook drive. Reverse time travel to present day. Look for wankers. Hash.

(Driving)
Get thee to the Toll Road and go west. Pay for the metro extension that the time-traveling wankers will use. Exit at Fairfax County Parkway and go North. Once you're on the parkway, take a left at the first stoplight onto a ramp that will take you to Spring st. Turn right onto Spring st and then make a left onto Herndon parkway at your first stoplight. Take a left onto Fairbrook dr. Park and hash.

(Driving - cheapskate option)
If you don't want to pay the toll, you can take 66 west to Fairfax County Parkway North. You'll eventually cross over the Toll Road, and then you can follow the directions above.

Click this link for a map to the start. If that doesn't work, try copying and pasting it.
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=fairbrook+dr+herndon,+va&om=1

Miscellaneous:
A to A'. Bring a bright flashlight and check the batteries. Bring dry everything. Long pants strongly recommended. Poison ivy factor is high. Tough dog friendly but may require creative thinking at a few points. Strollers are a very bad idea unless you are trying to get rid of your kid. Walker's trail is just as shiggy filled as the runner's trail, so walkers should bring dry clothes and a flashlight as well.

On-On-On:
Jimmy's Old Town Tavern
697 Spring St, Herndon, VA 20170
(703) 435-5467
http://www.jimmystavern.com/

Specials
22 ounce bottles of Icehouse for $4.00

On On,

My coworkers have discovered our website, effectively lowering my chances of ever getting a security clearance from "snowball's chance in Hell" to "Bad Dog's chances of getting laid." I knew I was in trouble when my pseudo-boss came into my office and suggested taking the photo of me with the "nutsack" sticker on my head and putting it into the criminal history system we are developing. So, just to clear a few things up for any government personnel that may be browsing this website:

- Any statements I previously made about sleeping in my car, under my desk at work, or in bushes are completely fabricated.
- I do not refer to my kegerator as "Lord Kegerator" [may peace be upon him].
- Photographs of me in any embarassing situation are actually of Two Lips.
- The flask in my desk at work contains vodka-scented water.
- I retract any veiled threats I may have previously made to Rush Limbaugh, the Wal-Mart corporation, and Billy Crystal.

The Hares for this week decided to hype up their hash by telling me that they witnessed a shooting while scouting trail. I look forward to seeing you all there.

Correction to last week's announcement:
Mistakenly, Kennedys were not included along with drunks, vagrants, and theatre majors in the list of people who can benefit from using the trunk of a car as a place to sleep until you sober up. The White House Hash regrets the error.

1) My Receding Hareline
We need hares for July and August. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com.

2) Upcoming Hashes
5/21 – Hokie No Pokie, JackOff Lantern, Pussy in a Haystack – Herndon
5/29 - White House 1069 Cookout - Can't Fuck Dust, Mother May I, WoWo, Tit-ly Winks - Ft. Hunt Park
6/5 – Summer's Eve and Senor Doucheberg – Arlington
6/12 – Are You In? – Judiciary Square?

3) Upcoming Events
The White House Hash will have a very special hash to celebrate our 1069th run on Memorial Day (May 29). We will be having a cookout at Ft. Hunt park (insert Mike Hunt joke here), located just south of Alexandria. Respond to the evite here: http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/kstorck@gmail.com/wh4_1069

Save the date! The WH4 Camping Trip will be July 28-30 somewhere near Front Royal, VA.

The Full Moon Wine Hash is coming up on May 13 at Ballston. Go to the evite. http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=BVUPLDLDURDUMJGKTXJK&li=iq&src=email

Club 10-56 is putting the FUN back in FUNdraising! The Fifth Annual Backyard Bash is only 3 weeks away!
Endless Kegs of Beer
Live Music
Food!  Fun!  Freebies!
…And it's all for a good cause!
Saturday, May 20th, 2-10pm
El Ranchero Restaurant – In the backyard of course!
4617 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, VA

Go to www.club1056.com and sign up today.
Remember, if you pay in advance you save $5 off the admission price.

4) Mismanagement Mandated Announcements
A good way to get the cops called on us is to relieve yourself in front of some suburbanite or little old lady. Please be careful about where you take a leak.

5) WH4 Hash 1067 – Sunday, May 14th 2006 3:00 PM - 14th St and Maryland Ave, NE, DC

Hares: Semen on the Pew, Can't F*ck Dust, A Red River Runs Through It, Rear
End Loader

Cost:  $5

Start: Empty lot at the north east corner of 14th St and Maryland Ave, NE

D-erections:

(Metro)
Not really Metro accessible, although if you are feeling adventurous, you
can take the Orange or Blue lines to Stadium Armory, get off at the north
(East Capitol St) exit, take a left and walk west down East Capitol St
(toward the Capitol) to 14th St, turn right and head (who said head?) north
to the intersection of 14th and Maryland Ave, NE (a grand total of about 11
blocks, or just over a mile).

(Driving from Maryland)
Get on the beltway or BW Parkway and head (who said head?) to Route 50 (New
York Ave); take it into the city.  Shortly after entering the city from
Maryland, take a left onto Bladensburg Rd.  At intersection of Bladensburg,
H St, Florida Ave, and Benning Rd, go straight onto Maryland Ave.  Look for
wankers on your right at the intersection with 14th St, NE.

(Driving from Virginia)
Take 395 North into the city and go under the Mall.  Exit at Massachusetts
Ave.  Stay to the right, cross Mass Ave, and take a right onto H St, NW.
Follow H St approximately 1.5 miles over the train tracks and turn right
onto 14th St, NE.  Look for wankers on the left at the intersection of 14th
and Maryland Ave, NE.

Click this link for a map to the start. If that doesn't work, try copying and pasting it.
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=14th+St+and+Maryland+Ave,+NE,+washington,+dc&om=1

Miscellaneous:
A to A', bring a dry bag, runners' trail dog and stroller friendly.

On-On-On:
The Argonaut
1433 H St, NE
Washington, DC  20002
(202) 397-1416

Specials:
$2.50 bud light drafts
$3 booty drafts
$10 bud light pitchers
$11 booty pitchers

On On,

This week's hareline contains a bit of advice. If you're like me, you usually have to drive to the hash and frequently find yourself overserved, unable to drive, and in need of a place to sleep. I've found that the best place to pass out is the trunk of your car. That's right folks, whether you're a drunk, vagrant, or theatre major, only the trunk of your car provides the comfort and security that you need. You will know you are sober enough to drive when you wake up and come to the realization that sleeping in the trunk of your car sucks.

I hear a lot of you asking "why not just the front/back seat?" Well, I had a friend in high school that got arrested for drunk driving while taking a beer-induced nap in the driver's seat. He also got busted for smoking pot out of a Chia Pet behind a bush at 2 in the morning the night before the SOL tests. But that's a different story. Anyway, the whole idea of arresting someone who is drunk and asleep in the driver's seat because they "may" drive drunk in the near future seems a little presumptive to me. It's like signing up for a liver transplant now because you "may" get cirrhosis in the future. Actually, that's not a bad idea.

Believe it or not, I didn't think the trail on Sunday was as bad as some people made it out to be. That being said, hares, don't make me start a "Haring tip of the week" section. You already have enough of my crap to read. For the love of god, color your flour folks. I think that's two or three hashes now where the flour has been either not colored or barely colored.

For this week's trail,
BRING A FLASHLIGHT!

The hares this week would like to remind you to BRING A FLASHLIGHT! . It looks like a great trail.

BRING ANAL SEX FLASHLIGHT!

1) My Receding Hareline
We need hares for July and August. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com. Please note that this is a normal email address. Do not be confused by the presence of a plus sign.

2) Upcoming Hashes
5/14 - Semen on the Pew, Can't Fuck Dust, Road Kill and A Red River Runs Through It – H St, NE DC
5/21 – Hokie No Pokie, JackOff Lantern, Pussy in a Haystack – Herndon
5/29 - White House 1069 Cookout - Can't Fuck Dust, Mother May I, WoWo, Tit-ly Winks - Ft. Hunt Park
6/5 – Summer's Eve and Senor Doucheberg – TBA

3) Upcoming Events
The White House Hash will have a very special hash to celebrate our 1069th run on Memorial Day (May 29). We will be having a cookout at Ft. Hunt park (insert Mike Hunt joke here), located just south of Alexandria. Stayed tuned for more details, and be sure to make room for it on your schedule.

The Full Moon Wine Hash is coming up on May 13 at Ballston. Go to the evite. http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=BVUPLDLDURDUMJGKTXJK&li=iq&src=email

4) Haberdasher News
Some sort of poly-something or other bottles are on sale for five dollars.

5) WH4 Hash 1066 – Sunday, May 7th 2006 3:00 PM - Shirlington

BRING A FLASHLIGHT!

Hares: Are You In?, It's Buttfucking Time!, Read My Lips, and Thong Butt Not Forgotten

Cost:  $5

Start: Small parking lot next to Loews Theater at South Randolph and Arlington Mill Road (2772 South Randolph St., Arlington)

D-erections:

(Metro)
Pentagon Metro stop is about 3 miles away.  However, the bus is really easy (just like the hares)! From Pentagon Metro take Bus 7A Lincolnia-North Fairlington at 3:00 from Pentagon Metro and be in Shirlington within 10 minutes.  Or, arrive about an hour earlier or an hour later.  Check out schedule: http://www.wmata.com/timetables/va/7.pdf
 
(Driving from DC or GW Parkway)
Take 395 S to Shirlington Exit.  Follow signs for Shirlington, it'll put you onto Arlington Mill Rd.  Go straight through the light, drive for 2 blocks and turn LEFT at the next light onto S. Randolph.  Park and meet in small parking lot at that corner.
 
(Driving from VA, south of Shirlington) 
Take 395 N to Shirlington Exit.  Follow signs to Village of Shirlington.  You come to a light where you will turn LEFT onto Arlington Mill Rd. Drive 2 blocks turn LEFT at the next light onto S. Randolph.  Park and meet in small parking lot on the right at that corner.
 
(Driving from MD) 
Find your way to 395 South via 295 or George Washington Parkway, then follow DC directions above.

Click this link for a map to the start. If that doesn't work, try copying and pasting it.
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=2772+South+Randolph,+Arlington,+VA+22206&om=1&ll=38.842114,-77.08746&spn=0.014507,0.036435

Miscellaneous:
A to A'.  Flashlight, definitely!  Dry shoes, yes.  Dry clothes, especially if you get stinky.  Stroller friendly on walker's trail, not on runner's. Moderate PI factor.  Runners trail hardy dog friendly, but you might have to carry and pass along to other wankers.  In return for sexual favors, the hares can be talked into giving you super secret trail information to rejoin the pack if you want to bypass this area.

On-On-On:
The Bungalow Billiards & Brew Co.
2766 South Arlington Mill Dr
Arlington, Virginia 22206
Phone: 703-578-0020
http://www.virginia-billiards-restaurants.com/

Specials:
BO-GO! Buy One-Get One FREE!!!
Tell your server you're with the Hash. Order a beer (Bud, Miller Light, Michelob Ultra, Killians, Yuengling, or other NASCAR favorites only for this deal) and you'll get a ticket with your beer. Come back with that ticket for another beer. Pay for only one!  That's worth singing about... Free beer for all the hashers, free beer for all the hashers. Offer good once per customer. [Editor's note: it's worth singing about until you read the fine print.]

On On,