WH4 Hash 1057 -- March 5, 2006 3:00 PM -- Grosvenor/Strathmore Metro

I hope everyone got their fill of Hokie today, because I'm headed off to Anchorage, Alaska until Saturday. Don't fret about my absence. I'll be back in time to lay a Hokie-quality trail next Sunday unless some sort of disaster happens. It's metro accessible, in a gentrified area, and I guarantee* that there's no water, no tunnels, and no shiggy. Oh, did I mention that you should bring a flashlight and dry clothes? To top it all off, the on-on-on has $1.75 16oz beers and $6.25 pitchers.

*guarantee not guaranteed.

1) My Receding Hareline
If you've never hared before and want to try it out, send me an email and I will try to set you up with some more experienced hares who can help you out. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline, find an open date, a co-hare, and a location and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
3/12 – Fagnostic, Pussy In a Haystack - TBA
3/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Duck Duck Bush, Bad Ditch – American Legion?
3/26 – Read My Lips – Mclean
4/2 - Wang Chunks, Can't Fuck Dust, Jack Off Lantern – Anacostia?

3) MisManagement Mandated Announcements
- For the foreseeable future, we'll have a hash song highlighted on the
main web page ( http://www.whitehousehash.com), likely changing on a
menstrual-cycle basis, except for when it's not (hopefully it's never
late). At the moment, the featured song is the much-enjoyed "Got it up, Got
it in, Got it out"
- 202-232-HASH is being phased out. If you don't know what 202-232-HASH is, don't worry about it. Otherwise, call 202-PUDJAM0.

4) WH4 Hash 1057 -- March 5, 2006 3:00 PM -- Grosvenor/Strathmore Metro

Bring dry shoes! Bring a flashlight!

It's Cinco de Marcho!

Hares: Hokie No Pokie, Roll Over Bitch!, Put It Out, Are You In?

Cost:  $5

Start: The parking lot in front of the Grosvenor/Strathmore Metro

D-erections:

(Metro) Take the red line to Grosvenor/Strathmore.

(Driving) Get to the Beltway. Take exit 34 (route 355). If you're coming from the west/south, make a u-turn as soon as possible. If you're coming from the east, no u-turn is required.Turn right on Tuckerman lane and go into the metro parking lot.

Click this link to a map of the start or else cut and paste the link:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Rockville+Pike+%26+Tuckerman+Ln,+Rockville,+MD+20852

Miscellaneous: A to A'. Bring a flashlight! Bring dry clothes! Tough dogs should be ok but may require some creative thinking at a few parts on the trail. Absolutely not stroller friendly. On the other hand, the walker's trail is dry and flat.

On-On-On:
Hank Dietle's Tavern
11010 Rockville Pike, Rockville, MD
(301) 881-8711

This place is a great hash bar and Mr. Dietle was nice enough to give us happy hour prices. However, the bar serves no food. I have the phone numbers of several nearby pizza places, and there are a lot of take out options in the area. Also note that it's about a half mile walk from the metro.

Specials:
$1.50 12 oz beers
$1.75 16 oz beers
$6.25 large pitchers

On On,
Hokie No Pokie
2006 WH4 Hare Raiser

WH4 Hash 1056 -- February 26, 2006 3:00 PM -- Little Falls Mall, Bethesda, MD

After the flurry of complaints generated by Fagnostic's post to Digby's, I'd like to remind you that the White House Hash welcomes constructive criticism. We have even set up a special email account managed by a responsible, compassionate person who will address your concerns. So if you have any complaints about the Hash starting 16 minutes late instead of 30, where the Holiday Party was, how much shiggy was on the trail, the size of my penis, or anything else remotely related to the White House Hash, email the White House Whiner. Ass Finder will respond to your email as soon as he wakes up from his Sri Lankan beer induced nap.

[Editor's note: Do not email the White House Whiner. It has been phased out. Yes, the emails really do go to Ass Finder.]

This week, our renowned scribe Sucks Cock for Crack will be laying a trail in the Glen Echo area and then promptly fleeing the scene of the crime on a flight to Utah.

1) My Receding Hareline
I told you the hareline would fill up quickly. We're full up through Memorial Day. If you'd like to help some of the people who are signed up, ask me. In fact, Roll Over Bitch! and I could use a flour mule or two to help with the 3/5 trail. Otherwise, sign up now for summer and those delicious early fall dates. They are starting to fill up. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline, find an open date, a co-hare, and a location and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
3/5 – Hokie No Pokie, Roll Over Bitch!, maybe Put It Out – Grovesnor/Strathmore Metro
3/12 – Fagnostic, Pussy In a Haystack - TBA
3/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Duck Duck Bush, Bad Ditch – American Legion?
3/26 – Read My Lips - Mclean

3) MisManagement Mandated Announcements
- For the foreseeable future, we'll have a hash song highlighted on the
main web page (http://www.whitehousehash.com), likely changing on a
menstrual-cycle basis, except for when it's not (hopefully it's never
late). At the moment, the featured song is the much-enjoyed "Got it up, Got
it in, Got it out"
- 202-232-HASH is being phased out. If you don't know what 202-232-HASH is, don't worry about it. Otherwise, call 202-PUDJAM0.

4) Haberdasher News
- Hash bags are for sale and are 30 bucks. There are 10 left. Check the haberdasher section of the web page for a picture.
- If you didn't get your flask from the Holiday party, you can pick it up at the next hash.

5) WH4 Hash 1056 -- February 26, 2006 -- Little Falls Mall, Bethesda, MD

It's a C*ck-up

When:  February 26, 2006 at 3:00pm

Hares: Cocktoberfest, Sucks C*ck for Crack, Prophagalactic, and maybe Just Dan
Cost:  $5

Start: Behind CVS at 4701 Sangamore Rd in Bethesda, MD

D-erections:

(Metro) There aren't many options for this location on a Sunday. Your
best bet is to get to Friendship Heights Metro and catch the 2:30pm
Ride-On Route 29 towards Glen Echo. Get off at Mass. Ave and Sangamore
Rd, halfway between the Westbard and Glen Echo timing points. Cross
Mass. Ave and walk 0.9 miles down Sangamore to the shopping center on
the left. The CVS is in the back corner. Go behind it.

(Driving from VA) Take the Key Bridge into DC. Make a left onto Canal
Rd and then head up the hill onto Foxhall Rd. Make the first left onto
MacArthure Blvd. Take MacArthur Blvd into MD and bear right onto
Sangamore Rd. The shopping center is on your right about a half mile
after you split onto Sangamore Rd. Look for the CVS and park near or
behind it and hash.

(Driving from MD) Now there are too many options. MapQuest yourself to
4611 Sangamore Rd. Look for the CVS and park near or behind it and
hash.

Click this link to a map of the start or else cut and paste the link:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=38.949201,+-77.117712&t=h

Miscellaneous: A to A. No flashlight required. Warm or dry clothes are
only required if you sweat a lot or plan to be cold. Runners' trail
tough dog friendly. Walkers' trail OK for wimpy dogs and strollers.

On-On-On:
China Pavilion
4611 Sangamore Rd
Bethesda, MD 20816
301-263-1088

Specials:
$2 domestic bottles
$10 buffet (includes tax)
Tip is not included in any prices.

On On,
Hokie No Pokie
2006 WH4 Hare Raiser

Sunday's Trail - Start Location Changed to the Capitol South Metro

Looks like I shot my announcement load prematurely. The Hares have moved the start for Sunday's Trail (2/19) to the Capitol South Metro. They have also discovered what bar we will be going to. See the amended information below:

"Start has been moved to grassy area on D St SE around the corner from Capital South Metro- reports of anticipated MBTU (Mobile Beer Terrorism Unit) protests have forced us to go farther undercover.

D-erections:
(Metro)
Blue and Orange Line - Capital South Metro Stop http://www.stationmasters.com/System_Map/CAPITOLS/capitols.html.

(Driving from VA)
Go to 395N across the 14th St Bridge. Turn right onto Independence Ave, follow for a few blocks, turn right onto 2nd St SE and right again onto C St SE, park and hash.

(Driving from MD)
Follow 14th Street to Independence and turn left. Follow directions above.

OnOnOn:
Hawk and Dove
329 Pennsylvania Ave SE
202-543-3300
http://www.hawkanddoveonline.com/
Specials: TBD"

WH4 Hash #1055 - Sunday, February 19th 3:00 PM - Eastern Market Metro

Last week's announcement created quite the Hokie renaming controversy on Digby's. I think that this is a good time to remind you all that much like Fox News and CNN, this announcement is a vehicle for propaganda and misinformation. Take it with a grain of salt. Anyway, I'm sure that the Hokie renaming controversy will go down in Digby's history alongside other great controversies such as the time that Please Step Away misspelled "Nationals' game."

Thanks to Sunday's Hares for an awesome trail. If you missed it, we had about seven tunnels, shoe-sucking mud, deep snow, thorns, fences, slippery slopes, and a home-made ladder to get us over one of the taller fences. This week's trail will have less shiggy but more snatch and tits. The Hares aren't exactly sure which bar they want to take us to yet, so check the web page in the near future if you really want to know.

1) My Receding Hareline
I really need Hares for 3/5 and 3/12. If you're willing, send me an email. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline, find an open date, a co-hare, and a location and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
2/26 – Sucks Cock for Crack, Cocktoberfest, Just Dan – Bethesda
3/5 – Need Hares!
3/12 – Need Hares!
3/19 – Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Duck Duck Bush – American Legion?

3) Haberdasher News
- Flasks are available for those of you who had names that the right-wing fundamentalist company refused to print. Pick them up at the next hash.

4) WH4 Hash #1055 -- Feb 19th, 2006 3:00 PM -- Eastern Market Metro Station
 
The T & A Hash- what does the President's Day holiday make you think about?  Chugging contests with Dubya and the Bush Twins?  Strange stains from interns in the Oval Office?  Wild pool parties with Jacki and JFK?  Laura wearing leather and disciplining you for talking too loud in the library?  Okay, maybe the last one is only for you new Crucible members.  Come out to party for President's Day with you favorite Tits and Snatches!
 
Hares:  Snatch Shot, Tit-ly Winks, Tit-ka Boob, and Runway Snatch

Cost:  $5

Start: Grassy area next to the Eastern Market Metro

D-erections:
(Metro) 
Eastern Market Station on the Orange and Blue Lines
 
(Driving from VA) 
Go to 395N across the 14th St Bridge.  Turn right onto Independence Ave, bear right onto Pennsylvania Ave.  Follow for a few blocks, park and hash.
 
(Driving from MD)
Follow 14th Street to Independence and turn left.  Follow directions above.
 
Click this link to a map of the start: http://www.stationmasters.com/System_Map/EASTERNM/easternm.html
 
Miscellaneous: A to A'. Walkers trail is stroller friendly, runners trail is Tit, Snatch, and dog friendly.  Possible urban shiggy, helmets recommended.
 
On-On-On:
Remington's or Hawk and Dove

Specials:
TBD, but we are all special in our own way. 

5) Upcoming Events
2/17 - DC Full Moon's AGM is at a brewery that is stupid enough to let Hashers in. http://dchashing.com/community/fmh3/ for more details.

On On,
Hokie No Pokie
2006 WH4 Hare Raiser

Sunday's WH4 Trail - Weather Advisory

If you missed the part of my announcement that says to bring warm socks and dry shoes, you should pay attention to the reminder that the Hares sent me below.

"Due to the potential inclement weather this weekend, we interrupt your normally scheduled email for this advisory:

WARNING WARNING WARNING

If you hash at WH4 this Sunday you will get wet and muddy. Most of the trail is off road and if we get snow you will be running through it. There are tunnels (somewhat dry) but these tunnels empty into deep pools. While these pools are avoidable, people like Hokie No Pokie may be advised to bring a wetsuit. There will be lots of running by trees, shrubbery and possible thorny patches. Be advised if you are particularly susceptible to injury (*ahem*Hokie*ahem*) you may want to bring a mouth guard.

In all seriousness:
This trail will get you muddy and whether or not there is snow on the ground your shoes will get wet. The water isn't that deep (no deeper than shoe deep on true trail) and the hares have talked to plenty of people who say go ahead anyway. Given the weather forecasts you will definitely want a full set of dry, warm clothes at the end. If you like shiggy, there's plenty of it.

Come out Sunday and enjoy the fun trail. Or stay at home in your warm bed by yourself. Your call.
--2Lips (on behalf of the hares)

We now return you to your normally scheduled debauchery."

WH4 Hash #1054 - Sunday, February 12, 3:00 PM – Largo Metro

In the world of hashing, nothing is certain. There are, however, a few things that are pretty safe bets. For example: Piss N' Boots grabbing my crotch, Salt Lick Titties showing us her tits, and of course the infamous Hokie injury. Well Wankers, cash in on your bets. I managed to injure myself within six hours of landing in Durango. After getting off the plane and about six beers, I fell asleep. I hopped out of bed around 4:30 in the morning to take a much needed piss. I made it most of the way to the bathroom before suddenly losing consciousness, falling over, and breaking two of my front teeth on some object that I have yet to conclusively identify. If you act quickly, you can still bet Boner that I will live past the age of 27.

I was supposed to travel to Alaska in a few days, but because of an exploding volcano, the trip is postponed until the end of the month. My company is smart enough not to send me anywhere near things that go boom. That means I'll get to attend what looks to be an awesome trail out in Largo set by Two Lips, Jack Off Lantern, and whoever else JOL can pull out of his dungeon. If you didn't attend the 2004 Outgoing MM trail, you probably don't know what kind of awesome hashing terrain is around Largo Town Center. Come find out – it's well worth the trip. If I were you, I'd bring warm socks and dry shoes.

1) My Receding Hareline
There are a lot of good spring dates left, particularly in March. Sign up now for good weathered hashes. Check the Hareline at http://www.whitehousehash.com/hareline , find an open date, a co-hare, and a location and send me an email at wh4hareraiser+idontlikespam@gmail.com .

2) Upcoming Hashes
2/19 - Snatch Shot, Titly Winks – Somewhere between a snatch and a tit
2/26 – Sucks Cock for Crack, Cocktoberfest – Bethesda
3/5 – Need Hares!
3/12 – Need Hares!

3) Haberdasher News
- Flasks should be available at the next hash for those of you that did not get them at the Holiday Party

4) WH4 Hash #1054 -- Feb 12th, 2006 3:00 PM -- Largo Metro Station
 
Welcome Back To Town Hash - for all you wankers that were out of town over the Super Bowl weekend, either skiing or boarding, drinking, carousing, getting laid, or any combination of those - wear your out of town clothes - Disco outfits, Roller Derby Queens (skates NOT recommended!), ski clothes, or even the parts of your WH4 Holiday party outfits that didn't get left behind at the Crucible...
 
Hares:  Two Lips in the Bush, Jack Off Lantern, and some submissive people

Cost:  $5

Start: Largo Metro parking lot

D-erections:
(Metro)  End of the Blue Line at the Largo Town Center
 
(Driving from VA)  Get yourself on the east side of the Beltway in MD (Route 50/New York Ave works nicely from downtown, or take 295 to 50).  Once on the Beltway (If coming out route 50 to the Beltway, head south) take exit 15a for Route 214 East, Central Ave.  Stay in the right hand lanes and follow the signs for Largo Town Center.
 
(Driving from MD)
See above.  If not taking the Beltway, get to Central Ave just east of the Beltway and follow signs for the Largo Town Center and Metro.
 
Click this link to a map of the start or else cut and paste the link:
http://tinyurl.com/8xjhr (Editor's Note: this is the bar. The metro is very close by).
 
Miscellaneous: A to A'. Bring a flashlight and warm, dry clothes.  Walkers trail is stroller friendly, runners trail is tough dog friendly.
 
On-On-On:
Red Star Tavern
880 Capital Centre Blvd
Upper Marlboro, MD 20774

Specials:
$3.00 Domestic Drafts

5) Upcoming Events
2/17 - DC Full Moon's AGM is at a brewery that is stupid enough to let Hashers in. http://dchashing.com/community/fmh3/ for more details.

On On,
Hokie No Pokie
2006 WH4 Hare Raiser