By far the most confounding aspect of erections is the phenomenon known as morning wood. Ladies, if you aren't familiar with the concept of morning wood, let's just say that roosters arent the only cocks that get up early every morning. I'm not sure what causes morning wood, and in the few Google searches I did on the topic at work, no one else knows either. At first I thought that maybe it had something to do with rubbing up against the bed sheets or sex dreams, but I proved this theory wrong on my red-eye flight back from Alaska.  In the middle of the flight, while I was awake and not thinking about sex at all, I suddenly experienced a raging erection at approximately the same time I would be waking up on the east coast.

Morning wood is beautiful, but it's also a pain. If you're like me, one of the first things you have to do in the morning is take a leak. Accomplishing this while little Hokie is standing at attention is difficult, to say the least. You can't bend it, so your option is to either sit down and dunk your junk in toilet water or to place your hands on the tank of the toilet in an attempt to achieve an optimal angle and end up looking like Superman in mid flight. Usually taking a leak cures morning wood. The only other known cure is good old fashion hardcore ass fucking.

 

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